Marriage through deceit

In a divorce case before a Lagos court, a wife said among other things, her husband married her through deceit, by claiming that he was a Mass Communications graduate from the University of Lagos and that he was financially well off, only for her to discover that  he was a school certificate holder without any […]

In a divorce case before a Lagos court, a wife said among other things, her husband married her through deceit, by claiming that he was a Mass Communications graduate from the University of Lagos and that he was financially well off, only for her to discover that  he was a school certificate holder without any genuine means of income. They had been married for six years. The court dissolved the marriage  last week.
And the presiding judge advised women to always do proper investigation before going into marriage.
Well some men go to great length to manufacture lofty credentials or family background to entice women into marrying them.
They believe that it is the only way to get the women to  love them, assuming that after the marriage the women would accept the truth about them if they find out since the women may not want any scandal of divorce shortly after getting married.
Some may indeed stay in the marriage, but would the love they feel for such deceitful men be there, after all the men they married were not actually the men they transformed into.  Like somebody tells you he is a medical doctor but you find out he is a hospital attendant.
How would you look people in the eye now with the truth after bragging about the ‘doctor’?
Some drivers also are known to drive expensive cars of their employers to see their girlfriends and pretend to be the children of wealthy people.
Though in a rare case even when the truth came out that the boyfriend was a driver, the girl was so blinded by love that she said people lied against him and she still wanted to marry him. But he himself stopped going to see her when he saw that he was found out.
However some women would never agree to stay with a man that married them through deceit no matter how much people would gossip about them.
In one such case one man displayed wealth and married a beautiful girl, but they discovered that he lied to them, that he was far from how he portrayed himself. So the wife refused to stay.
People abused the mother that the daughter got out of the marriage because the mother wanted her to marry a rich man. But they insisted that the man lied to them and there was no way they would condone it.
Also some years back one woman married a man who lived in Abuja. All they knew back home in her state was that he was a’director’ in Abuja, and for them that qualified him as a ‘good catch’, but to her dismay, she found  that he was selling meat.
However, in spite of the fact that deception is bad in any form, much less in going to marriage through it, some men feel that it is the only way to win the women, so it is not a big deal.
Well it is, if a man believes in his worth, he can approach the girl he likes as he is, and if she loves him no matter how poor he may be, she will marry him.
But the problem is that some actually like the girls beyond their class, so they go into deceit by claiming all sorts of wealth and associations.
Some parents and their daughters  never want to hear any advice about some inconsistency about the suitors or what is actually known about them. They would be angry and say people are envious of them.
As for those that say it serves the women right for being deceived for having high taste or ambition in marriage, they miss the point, because marriage is supposed to be built on trust for it to endure. It is not play acting, it is for real.
Therefore those that build marriage on deceit may definitely know it will work both ways; either the wife goes away or stays. So from the outset they don’t go into it with the intention of it being permanent.
As for the women they should look deeper, some things are too good to be true. The rosy life the men imply they live is too lofty. Something must be wrong. Start investigating before it is too late and you feel compelled to live with a man you may hate for the rest of your life.