MEMO TO CONFERENCE ADVISORY COMMITTEE

We, the people, do hereby extend our congratulations on your appointment into this important committee to advise the President on a matter of urgent national importance, the National Conference. Each one of you is a fit and proper person to undertake this onerous assignment, and we wish you God’s guidance as you sit down to […]

We, the people, do hereby extend our congratulations on your appointment into this important committee to advise the President on a matter of urgent national importance, the National Conference. Each one of you is a fit and proper person to undertake this onerous assignment, and we wish you God’s guidance as you sit down to draw up the Agenda for this national dialogue.
Your Committee’s list, as given in the statement from the Office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, is quite interesting, especially for us from this end of the country. We will not add a word more to ‘interesting’, only that the word is much related to ‘interest’.
It is our belief that the mere setting up of your Committee, and all the noise the Conference has so far generated, is perhaps tacit acceptance by your appointer (the President) that the time has come for him to perhaps do to us what his predecessor but one (he of the denied Third Term) did to us, best encapsulated in the Hausa saying ‘Tsiyar Nasara Sai Za Shi Gida.’
It is quite possible that you have come across the French saying “Apres moi le deluge!” or, in English, “After me the deluge!” attributed to the French King Louis XV (1710–1774). However, there’s no harm repeating the oft-rendered story. Unexpectedly surviving the death of his entire family, King Louis (who had enjoyed a favourable opinion at the beginning of his reign) failed in his inability to reform the French monarchy, and was accused of being loose of morals. His foreign policy was also said to be a shambles, and he ended up as one of the most unpopular kings of France.
Furthermore, Louis failed to overcome serious national economic problems, mainly because he was generally incapable. He was aware of the forces of opposition threatening his rule, and yet he failed to do anything to stop them. Popular legend holds that Louis predicted, “After me, the deluge!” In other words, after him, who cares what happens to France? Why should he bother with the burdens of rulership? If the place goes to hell after he’s gone, so be it.
The French Revolution began in 1789, a mere 15 years after Louis’ death.
Dear Committee Members, you may have already been given your Terms of Reference (ToRs). Those listed on the order paper are the apparent ones, and there will in due course come the applied and implied ToRs to help you along in your Advisory.
Be that as it may, it is said you have only a month to submit your report so that the Conference can be convened as quickly as possible. Actually, many of us who agitated for the Conference were pleasantly surprised it came this soon.
May we, therefore, offer our advance pieces of advice before you formally call on us to do so:
SOVEREIGN: Advise the President that it is better at this time to have a Sovereign National Conference, not only a National Conference. The reason being that unless it is Sovereign, there will continue to be agitation for ‘Sovereign’ in the near and far future. Therefore, it is better to have the Sovereign kind once and for all while we are at it.
NO-GO-AREAS: Advise the President that there should be no no-go areas. If people want to go their own ways during the Conference proper, let them. Who says ‘patience’ is the only solution to an unhappy marriage? There is always a way out, though not palatable. It is called divorce. Yes, there will be acrimony, and some alimony. But so be it.
MEMBERSHIP: Advise the President that delegates to the Conference should be elected, not selected. It is better for the people to nominate those who will represent them, rather than the Government appointing them. There is the palpable fear that Government may nominate members who may even be wanted in other Commonwealth countries for stealing our commonwealth. By ‘election’, perhaps relatively ‘good’ people may go to the Dialogue.
NUMBERS: Advise the President that there should be respect for numbers. It is an unchangeable accident of history that the Hausa-Fulani-Kanuri-Nupe-Igbirra-Ilorin and the Ibo and the Yoruba have higher numbers in this nation. It is not their fault, and they should not be punished for it. In actual fact, had the colonial masters not excised a significant part of Hausaland to present-day Niger Republic (and Kanuriland to Chad Republic and Fulaniland to Cameroon and Yorubaland to Benin Republic), the matter would have since been concluded.
NEGOTIATION: Advise the President that, although a Sovereign Conference usually sets its own Agenda when convened, it will be good to at least provide guidance at the initial stages. Therefore, matters should be negotiated to avoid rancour and bad blood. All delegates should come with an open mind to give and give, and then take.
VOTE: Advise the President that, should negotiations fail, matters should be put to the vote. And a simple majority should carry. And this is no slight on any minority.
LENGTH-OF-RULE: Advise the President to avoid, when convening the Conference, repeating the primordial lie of how many years “The North” has ruled Nigeria. First, the First Republic was a democracy and, although had I been around then I may not have voted for it, the Northern Peoples’ Congress (NPC) was said to have won through a democratic process. During the Military Era, we did not send Jack or Step-Aside or ABC to represent us. So let us begin on a clean slate, and the North should also let it go that, in 14 years of democracy, they ruled for less than three.
VIOLENCE: Advise the President to tell all Delegates that no one should threaten violence should their opinion be not taken, or carried. We have had enough violence, physical and verbal. They should spare us.
Mr. Chairman, there are already calls from a certain section of the noise-making Discussing Public that one of your members, whom we shall not name here, deserves to be Chairman, and not you. We say NO. Your choice as Chairman by the President is explicit and implicit confidence in your abilities and expected impartiality in carrying through this assignment.
And to your Secretary, remind him that we (meaning he and I) come from a very long academic association. Remind him of that earth-shaking lecture the two of us delivered at the New Campus of Bayero University, Kano, almost twenty years ago, to debunk ‘Wal Bani Wal Baka.’
Now it is time for Bani In Baka!
Sincerely yours.