Men need marriage advice too

In some families, the bride is taken to her uncles’ and aunties’ houses to admonish her; some of these brides break down in tears. Probably because it feels like you are going to  face a difficult life that you may not be able to surmount.The advice ranges  from ;  take care of your husband’s property […]

In some families, the bride is taken to her uncles’ and aunties’ houses to admonish her; some of these brides break down in tears. Probably because it feels like you are going to  face a difficult life that you may not be able to surmount.
The advice ranges  from ;  take care of your husband’s property and don’t to waste food, cook delicious food for your husband so that he would be eager to come home and eat,  love his relations not only your own and obey him.  And the big one from mothers and aunties! To take care of yourself, some may advice you to take you bathe before going to bed every day, use perfume, dress beautifully with make up when your husband is around, not only when you are going out to mention a few.
Where men are advised, they are told to hold on to their responsibility of providing food for the family, but the question of personal hygiene does not come up. May be it is taken for granted that a man does not need to look appealing to his wife, that it is only a woman that needs to look and smell good.
However the way some men don’t care about their personal hygiene cause women a lot of discomfort. Many bear it in silence, hiding their disgust, who are you to complain that your husband smells?
But some women are not as tolerant and complain to the husbands about their dirty habits. In this case the men don’t take it lightly; they see this as disrespect, since they are the leaders of the home.
Some women subtly encourage such husbands to use deodorant, perfume and clean their teeth before going to bed.
To show how far off some men are about personal hygiene and the need to be also attractive to their wives,  when  one man  was advised to do the above, he said in dismay, “But I am not a woman!”
This man’s reaction shows the need for parents and the society to also include men in their marriage advice, particularly on hygiene.
Little wonder that few months ago in a phone-in radio programme in Kano where Islamic clerics discuss issues asked by callers, one woman asked them to, “Please tell men to be taking their bathe.”
The clerics had a good laugh and pointed out that as wives need to be clean and look good, so are the husbands.
They chided men that some would wear one dress (jallabiya) that is very old, every day when they are at home but a nice one when they are going out.
They said only women were blamed for only dressing well when going out, while in fact men also behave in like manner.
I heard a story where a marriage almost led to divorce because of the husband’s persistent refusal to flush the toilet.
If some men that smell terribly pass by, people would wrinkle their nose and make comments like, “Their wives are suffering, they are being unfair to them.”
When men are getting married, they should be advised in no uncertain terms that it is not only men that like and admire beautiful dressing and so on, in fact they should also imbibe the habit so as to be admired by their wives also.