Mother of Nyanya bomb blast victim says losing only child is beyond tragedy

Mrs. Grace Joel was in her 20s when her husband died just two years after they tied the nuptial knots. She was pregnant with their son, Kayode Joel. He turned out to be her only child and the reason for which she lived. She never remarried and focused all her life on raising her son, […]

Mrs. Grace Joel was in her 20s when her husband died just two years after they tied the nuptial knots. She was pregnant with their son, Kayode Joel. He turned out to be her only child and the reason for which she lived. She never remarried and focused all her life on raising her son, who became her joy and hope.
Mrs. Joel lost this joy and hope in the Nyanya blasts on April 14. It was a gloomy atmosphere in the one-bedroom Nyanya apartment which she shared with her son as the endless traffic of sympathisers thronged the living room, sighing, shaking their heads or legs or doing a combination of all three as they remembered their various encounters with the late Kayode.
A civil servant at the Office of the Head of Service, Mrs. Joel recalls the morning before he died: “We had our morning prayers and I suggested that he left early because of the traffic situation and being his first day at a new workplace. Also, the excitement of beginning a new job, he listened to me and set out early. He didn’t even eat the breakfast I prepared for fear of being late. He said it was hot,” she mumbled tearfully.
“I only wish I insisted that he ate the food. It would have delayed him enough for the bombs to have gone off and he would have been safe from harm’s way,” she adds.
“It wasn’t 10 minutes, when I heard the loud sound of the explosion and the vibration that went with it. He immediately came to my mind and I ran in that direction, knowing that would be his route. No sooner had I arrived at the scene, than I saw the lifeless body of my son. I didn’t know what to do as I looked at his corpse. I was confused and in utter shock and disbelief,” she says, folding her hands in self-embrace.
Tears pouring down her face uncontrollably, Mrs. Joel continues: “There is not much I can say about my son in this state, but even in death he still radiated the peace he was known for.”
Speaking with nostalgia about him, the bereaved mother adds: “Kayode studied Chemical Engineering at the Federal University of Technology, Minna. He was very industrious and self-reliant. He had had his earlier education in Lagos. When he graduated in 2012, he went to serve in Niger where he was Publicity Secretary of the Christian Youth Corpers’ Association there, and finished in February this year. He had just got a new job in Wuse and was on his way to resume when this unfortunate incident took his life.”
Amidst tears, Mrs. Joel says: “The one thing I draw strength from is the fact that he was in Christ and did God’s work with all his heart.” This was also collaborated by the number of people who were at his funeral. “I had no clue how that was arranged. I only know that he was given a befitting burial. People I have never and may never even see again trooped out en masse,” the bereaved mother said with a catch in her voice.
“Remarrying wasn’t an issue for me when I lost my husband. I was quite happy that a child came out of the marriage and my life was about protecting him and providing the best that I could afford. It was very heart-warming for me when he chose to study chemical engineering because that was his father’s profession.
“If after all the challenges to educate him, the strikes, expenses and all, this is what God’s plan for him is, I cannot say anything otherwise,” she adds ruefully.
As visitors came in and out of the house all Mrs. Joel could afford them was a nod and a very weak smile as she acknowledged their greetings with pain.
“I was about taking a bath when I heard the explosion. I immediately threw something around me and went there. I screamed for help but nobody came. He wasn’t burnt but I was later told he had wounds on his laps, but I didn’t see them. His body seemed intact to me.
“I’ll be giving all his things to charity which is what he liked to do. They will be taken to the villages where they will be distributed during evangelism.
“I don’t know what I will not remember him for. Even I his mother was greatly encouraged by him. He thought me to give and encouraged me to start reading books. He would have been 29 in November,” Mrs. Joel says thoughtfully.
Aptly describing her state of mind, a trembling Mrs. Joel notes that: “Losing a husband was a pain beyond description. Losing the only child one has in life at over 50 is more than pain and one experience you wouldn’t wish an enemy.”