Mother’s Day celebration: Between Candy Lightner & Rochel Sobel (I)

But while celebrating our mothers last Sunday, certain thoughts crept through my mind; the pains, the trauma and loss a mother who has lost a son or a child or perhaps a loved one suffers. These thoughts prompted me to select two mothers who rather than become recluse over the loss of their loved ones, […]

But while celebrating our mothers last Sunday, certain thoughts crept through my mind; the pains, the trauma and loss a mother who has lost a son or a child or perhaps a loved one suffers. These thoughts prompted me to select two mothers who rather than become recluse over the loss of their loved ones, chose to make the world a better place to live by becoming models on best road safety practices.
I would have loved to celebrate my late mother whom I fondly call Lydia on this page, unfortunately, my mother was not a road safety crusader although she gave birth to one. Since I know that she will be excited in the heavens where I believe she is resting peacefully, I have chosen for the next two weeks, to run materials I surfed from the net on two mothers; Candy Lightner of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and Rochelle Sobel of The Association for Safe International Road Travel whose contributions have shaped road safety culture globally.  Like every grieving mother, Lightner and Rochele could have chosen to grief for life. They could equally have chosen to blame government failure or perhaps hate the driver that caused them pain. The almighty God could even have been placed on judgment seat to explain why. Instead, they chose to stand and be counted. This piece is therefore my way of celebrating, these two and every mother who has lost a child or a loved one. It is also my way of encouraging such mothers in this clime, including fathers to copy these noble examples rather than sit on the fence.  
Born Candice Doddridge on May 30, 1946, activist Candy Lightner grew up in California. Her father served in the U.S. Air Force, and her mother worked for this military branch as a civilian. After high school, Lightner attended American River College in Sacramento. She worked as a dental assistant for a time and married U.S. Air Force officer Steve Lightner. The couple had three children, including twin daughters Cari and Serena before divorcing. After the divorce, Lightner settled with her kids in Fair Oaks, California. She started working as a real estate agent there. On May 3, 1980, Lightner suffered a tremendous loss. Her 13-year-old daughter Cari was hit by a car while walking to a church carnival with a friend. She was struck with such force that she was knocked out of her shoes and thrown 125 feet away. Cari died not long after the accident. The driver that hit Cari never stopped, and it was later learned that he had been drunk at the time of the accident. This wasn’t his first drunk driving accident. He had been arrested a short time earlier for another incident related to drunk driving. After police officers told her that the driver likely would receive little punishment for killing Cari, Lightner became enraged. She decided to channel her anger and grief into fighting drunk driving. “Death caused by drunk drivers is the only socially acceptable form of homicide,” she later told People magazine. Four days after Cari’s death, Lightner started up a grassroots organisation to advocate for stiffer penalties for drunk driving.
She quit her job and used her savings to fund Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (later known as Mothers Against Drunk Driving). Before starting MADD, Lightner had been uninvolved in social reform or politics. “I wasn’t even registered to vote,” she explained to People magazine.  Later that year, Lightner joined forces with Cindi Lamb, whose daughter had been left paralysed by a drunk driving accident. To advance her cause, Lightner proved to be a tireless fighter. She visited California governor Jerry Brown’s office on a daily basis until the governor launched a state commission on drunk driving. Lightner was one of the first people appointed to the commission.  The pair went to Washington, D.C. that October to raise awareness about the issue of drunk driving and to fight for tough laws against offenders. Lecturing and lobbying across the country, she became a leading activist on this issue. President Ronald Reagan appointed her to the National Commission on Drunk Driving in 1984. The following year, Lightner left MADD. She has continued to work on social and legal issues as an activist since then. She also serves as a consultant to organisations and companies. Through MADD, Lightner helped get new anti-drunk driving legislation passed in individual states and nationally.  One of the group’s most significant accomplishments from this time was the national law that raised the legal drinking age to 21. Lightner’s activism also inspired her daughter Serena to form Students Against Drunk Driving. Lightner left the organisation she founded in 1985 amid allegations of financial mismanagement. MADD was accused on spending too much money on fundraising instead of on programmes. No matter the circumstances of her departure, Lightner had helped develop MADD into an international movement during her tenure. She told CNN that the group had nearly 400 chapters across the globe and gained two million members within the first three years.  Rochelle Sobel’s, grief began on 3 May 1995, when her 25-year-old son Aron was killed, along with 22 other passengers, in a bus crash on the Milas Soke Road of Bodrum Izmir Highway in Turkey. Aron was a senior medical student at the University of Maryland in the USA. He was completing his medical rotation by volunteering in a hospital abroad. Aron’s graduation was to have taken place two weeks from the day he was killed. His diploma, delivered to our home by the dean of the medical school, lies tucked away in the top drawer of Aron’s dresser. The other victims were people of all ages and all walks of life. Most were Turkish citizens, but there were also a number of passengers from other countries who had come on holiday or business. There were many students and a soon-to-be bride.
The police said the driver was speeding recklessly down the wrong lane of a rain-slick, winding, deteriorated two-lane road with no guard rail. He ignored the passengers’ requests to slow down. The bus collided head-on with oncoming traffic, careened, then plunged down a deep ravine, landing on its side.  The mayor of a nearby town said that the 35-year-old narrow road with its “death curve” had been the site of many previous accidents. Although it had been on a government list of dangerous roads for many years, no action had been taken to improve the road. The crash occurred on the eve of a holiday. Bus companies required their drivers to work overtime and complete more trips to collect more fares. Pre-holiday traffic congestion and an inadequate number of ambulances delayed the arrival of emergency medical care.
To be continued next week