My certificate is missing

My two representatives that were negotiating with them had already accepted some of their demands. We agreed to refund some of the money they spent in the futile primaries. We also agreed to reconstitute SIP campaign structures in the state and in the local governments to accommodate them. Some of them demanded for a promise […]

My two representatives that were negotiating with them had already accepted some of their demands. We agreed to refund some of the money they spent in the futile primaries. We also agreed to reconstitute SIP campaign structures in the state and in the local governments to accommodate them. Some of them demanded for a promise to be made commissioners when we win the election, which we agreed to. The main sticking point we had was that two of the men said they did not want any monetary compensation or promises of commissionership, that what they badly want is to contest the election. They want to be given SIP tickets to contest the election. We told them that INEC has already closed nominations but they said there is a way.
Can you believe that? One of them said he knows somebody in INEC that can steal the nomination papers of our House of Assembly candidate for Gangare 1 constituency. All he wants is for us to prevail on our candidate to agree to step down for him. If that is done, he said, he will arrange for the nomination papers to be stolen from INEC and substituted with his own. Even Maikahon Karo who is an expert in such things doubted if it can be done but the man confidently said, “It can be done. The only thing I don’t want is, after it has been done, for your former candidate to lodge a complaint. Provided no one lodges a complaint, it can be done. No problem about that.”
But Alhaji Gohe pointed out another problem. He said, “Ok, our candidate may not lodge a complaint but how about your ESUP opponent? INEC has already pasted the names of the validly nominated candidates on the notice board of their office. If we change our candidate, ESUP will know it and they will go to court. We are confident of winning that state assembly seat in Gangare but we will lose it just like that because a court will disqualify you and give the seat to ESUP.” But the man said, “Even if ESUP go to court, they cannot prove it. We will remove the paper from INEC files, we will remove it from their notice board and if anybody took a picture of the notice board we will get his camera and smash it.”
When Alhaji Gohe said he was still not satisfied because they may have sent a copy to their state office, the second man came up with another idea. He said, “You know what? INEC can do substitution after close of nomination if the candidate dies.” Alhaji Gohe and Maikaho looked at him in horror and said, “You are not going to kill our candidate?” The man laughed and said, “God forbid! How can I kill him! But we can arrange for him to go away from this town and hide somewhere. We will arrange a funeral, we will make sure his “death” is announced on the radio, we will make sure that television covers the funeral and we will place an obituary announcement in the local newspaper. With all that, INEC will also allow us to do a substitution.”
It was at that point that Maikaho phoned and said I must come, that these people’s demands are getting out of hand. So I hurried down the stairs of my house but right at the foot of the stairs I found SIP’s Legal Adviser standing there with some papers tucked under his armpit. There was worry all over his face. I said, “Barrister, is it you standing here? I hope nothing is wrong?” And he said, “Your Excellency, there is a problem. Big one. They called me from the election commission this morning and said they cannot find copies of your certificates in your file. That they also saw the nomination form but it is bare, not accompanied by any other paper.”
I was surprised and I said, “That cannot be! We submitted all the papers to them! Were you not the one who took the papers to their office?” He said yes, he was the one but now they said they cannot see any certificate copy there. I was annoyed because I was late for my meeting with the defectors so as I headed for the dining table to have my breakfast I called out to my senior wife. I said, “Goggo Babba, please take the key from my drawer and open that large black suitcase in my ward robe. All the certificates are there; please bring them so that Barrister can photocopy them again.” She went upstairs and in five minutes she came back with the file jacket containing all my certificates. All of them were there; my primary school cert which is already very grey. My secondary school cert from Government Provincial School, Birnin Tafki is also there. My degree certificate, two post graduate diploma certs as well as certs for all the courses I did when I was in the civil service, more than 15 of them.
The lawyer selected only the primary, secondary and degree certificates and said, “Your Excellency, I need only these ones. They were the ones we mentioned in the nomination forms. I will rush now and make photocopies, then take it to them.” I regretted at that point that the photocopier in my house had no ink; otherwise we could have photocopied them there. It is an all-in-one printer, photocopier and scanner, very reliable thing but because I did not use it for many weeks so the ink ran dry. So I gave the certificates to the lawyer to go to a business centre and photocopy them.
 That was the last that anyone heard of our lawyer. He did not bring back the certificates; we did not see him at the state exco meeting of the party; we did not see him at the caucus meeting; he switched off his phone. When his assistant went to INEC office, they said they are still waiting for copies of my certificates. When we sent people to his house to find out, his wife said he phoned her yesterday from a strange GSM number to say that he had travelled for an assignment but did not know when he will come back. He said it is a party assignment that will take him to many states.