My cool dress-sense

‘I’m off to Fadila’s birthday picnic Mummy. I thought I’ve told you earlier that it will be after Asr prayer. ’ she explained, remaining by the doorway. ‘So where is your abaya (cloak like after-dress clothing)?’ I asked. ‘Abaya Mummy? That will make me the odd one out. I’m sure that no one will be […]

‘I’m off to Fadila’s birthday picnic Mummy. I thought I’ve told you earlier that it will be after Asr prayer. ’ she explained, remaining by the doorway.

‘So where is your abaya (cloak like after-dress clothing)?’ I asked.

‘Abaya Mummy? That will make me the odd one out. I’m sure that no one will be wearing an abaya to that picnic.’ Ummi replied.

‘It doesn’t matter to me what everyone else is wearing. What bothers me is that you have on a tight-fitting blouse that exposes every contour of your body. Your tight long skirt might compliment your figure but it doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. I have often told you that you are free to wear such clothes around this house but you cannot wear this and go out without the necessary covering. Go and get your abaya Ummi, you can’t go out this way.’ I insisted.

‘But Mummy I have my scarf on.’ She pleaded.

‘No Ummi your scarf only covers your head. I am concerned with the rest of your body from the neck down.’ I explained.

‘Mummy please let me go this time, I will be late otherwise. The invitation says 3pm, I only stayed behind to pray and now any delay will make me even later. And it is an all-girl picnic no one will even notice me.’ Ummi argued.

‘Look Bint, she has a point’ Tahir said from the sitting room ‘if it’s an all-girl affair and she’s running late and she has on her scarf, she is good to go, allow her.’

‘You don’t understand Tahir. She is not decently dressed, at least not by Islam’s definition of modesty. You can see how tight fitting her skirt and top are. Before she reaches her all-girl destination, how many men will she see, beginning with our driver? Should we pretend that they are all blind so she can have her way?’ I asked.

‘But she’s only a teenager, why make so much fuss about her clothes as if she’s an adult?’ He argued.

‘She is physically an adult, and by Islam’s definition she is a young adult. Let’s not be carried away by the fact that this isn’t the white man’s definition. Ummi get back to your room and put on your abaya. You can still make it on time because everyone observes African time anyway.’ I directed.

‘Just imagine Baba, everyone will be beautifully dressed in something nice and cool, and there I’ll be spotting a black abaya. I’ll surely be the laughing stock of the picnic.’ Ummi argued, addressing her father.

‘No Ummi, from my experience, you will be the most admired of them all, you will be an inspiration to those who think looking cool is the ultimate thing in life.  You will make them wonder why you alone will cared less about fashion and more about observing the right dress code. Just try it and see.’ I encouraged.

‘No Mummy, I think I will give up going all together.’ She replied moving back into the room. ‘There’s no need to go if I will end up the odd one out.’

‘You see what you’ve caused Bint, now she is no longer interested in going. All because you can’t give her a little chance to be the child she is. What is wrong with the way she is dressed when all her friends will dress the same way?’ Tahir protested.

‘If she is under peer-pressure we too shouldn’t be Tahir. Just because all her friends dress the same way doesn’t make it right. You know the dress code for a matured young lady and the one for a full adult woman is one and the same in Islam. If you can’t have her me dressing that way and going out of this house, then you must not encourage Ummi to do so. She has reached the age of puberty and that should be the deciding factor.’ I answered him.

‘Ok, you’ve heard what she said,‘ Tahir remarked, addressing his daughter ‘Just try and put on the abaya, I know it’s not easy but there is no need to miss out on being with your friends.’ He urged.

‘Come here young lady’ I said to Ummi walking over to sit on one of the sitting room chairs. ‘ I don’t know whether you’ve heard of the famous American boxer Muhammad Ali, but I will share with you a piece of wisdom he shared with his daughter over the same issue we are debating now. One day one of Ali’s daughter’s came to visit him wearing some really skimpy clothes. That committed Muslim parent called her aside and told her that everything precious that Almighty God has created He kept buried deep in the bowels of the earth. That’s why you have to dig deep to find gold and diamonds, all other precious metals and crude oil. Anything that lies exposed has no value. The value of a thing is in direct proportion to how much you have to toil before you get it. So Muhammad Ali told his daughter that her body was too precious for such indecent exposure, and that people will only respect and value it if it was covered properly. I am sharing this with you so you should know that even apart from the Quranic injunctions on modest dressing, conventional, practical wisdom does not favour your moving around in excessively tight clothing like this one.’  I concluded.

‘Ok Mummy, I understand but I will still have to skip this picnic, because that abaya will be so out of place there. Next time I will wear something not so tight. I will call Fadila and say that I can’t make it today.’ Ummi acquiesced.

‘On the contrary you can change from this tight skirt and top into something loose-fitting and modest, then you can forget the abaya and go. Yes choose from among your Kaftans and boo-boos, or you can wear a wrapper with loose top.’ I suggested. Ummi did not immediately respond, as if thinking that these options sound as bad as the abaya. But Tahir looked at her said.

‘That sounds like a better idea Ummi, quickly go back to your room and change into a Kaftan. It is decent and casual enough for a picnic and I know that my princess will look great in it.’ He gave her an encouraging smile.

‘Talking about looking great, do you know that these tight-fitters don’t necessarily make one look great. Yes they expose whatever should be kept hidden but they don’t always make you as attractive as you think. Sometimes to achieve that great look requires wearing something modest and decent. Trust me.’ I added.

‘Ok, I will go and change now. There is no guarantee that I won’t be the odd one out, but at least I can be the odd one with confidence. I can move around them with no feeling of self-consciousness and also be in a position to explain why dressing that way is a better option to us all.’ She declared.

‘That’ the spirit Ummi, now rush to your room and change before the picnic is over.’ Tahir instructed.