My haunted house

‘I’m sorry we had to disturb you so early on a weekend morning Anti Bint, but when he insisted on calling me mad, I had to tell him that no woman will tolerate what he did without reacting the way I did. The next thing I knew he had dragged me here and said we […]

‘I’m sorry we had to disturb you so early on a weekend morning Anti Bint, but when he insisted on calling me mad, I had to tell him that no woman will tolerate what he did without reacting the way I did. The next thing I knew he had dragged me here and said we had to see you.’ Salma, his wife, explained.

‘He called you mad, why?’ I asked directing my question at Kamal.

‘I didn’t call her mad.’ He protested and was about to say more when his wife interrupted.

‘But you insinuated it when you said only an insane person will do what I did. Just because you have taken a new wife, does that give you the licence to call me insane?’ She demanded.

‘You see that is her problem now Anti Bint, ever since I returned from this wedding she has not been the same. To make matters worse, I came down this morning to see her busy breaking up our mugs and plates. Shouldn’t I ask her why? So I did and without answering me she continued what she was doing. That was the point at which I told her that only an insane person will do what she was doing.’ Kamal explained.

‘Be honest enough to tell her what was on the mugs and plates that I broke. That should explain things.’ Salma requested. Shifting uncomfortably for a moment, Kamal picked up courage and suddenly said:

‘They are souvenirs from my wedding. I brought them to her since she didn’t attend. But rather than appreciate the gesture she went ahead and broke everything.’

‘Yes, they were souvenirs from his wedding which had pictures of his bride and him on them. I had thanked him when he brought them, but I had no intention of displaying them all over my house. In the last three months since he told me about his intention to marry again he had done nothing other than his wedding plans. I tried my best to look the other way, constantly reminding myself that he was doing nothing unlawful and that as a Muslim I should accept it. And that was what I lived by right up to his wedding last week. Then he returned from his honeymoon two days ago and handed me the souvenirs. I took them to the kitchen and left them in the same souvenir bag that he brought them. Yesterday morning he went into the kitchen and saw them. He instructed my house girl to wash the mugs and plates and bring them into the dining area. She did as he said, so the first thing that greeted me when I came down to cook his dinner was his and his wife’s faces on china mugs. I waited for him to return from work before telling him clearly that I do not plan to use those gift items because I cannot live in a haunted house. I told him that I find their two pictures haunting. He just looked at me and said I should learn to accept reality, after which he walked to his room. I packed them back to the kitchen but again this morning he had them on display at the dining table. This time around I didn’t wait to consult him, I picked them one after another and broke them. Knowing that my house help will sleep a little late because it’s Saturday morning, I planned to tell her that I hit the tray by mistake and everything fell down and broke. But he came earlier than her and began to accuse me of insanity.’ Salma concluded.

‘But Kamal you can’t just force those souvenirs on her if she doesn’t want them. If you valued the peace in your home enough to find your bride another place why should you now bring her image and display it in Salma’s home?’ I asked.

‘I just want her to get used to the fact that Sadiya exists and she is there as part of our lives. I thought by giving her those gifts, even if she doesn’t see her daily, Salma will accept the new reality that I have another wife.’ Kamal replied.

‘Don’t you think I know it? What can possibly make me forget that you have another wife? Is it the pain of betrayal or my destroyed self-esteem and recurring self-doubt? How many times have I sat in that house and wondered just where I failed you that you had to go for another wife? Is that the kind of thing I could forget? Or is it because I hadn’t been coming to you crying and begging that you should please not marry? Well sorry to disappoint you but I didn’t come to you begging because my friends and relations had advised that I should leave everything to God and see whatever is the outcome as a test of faith from Him.’ Salma declared.

‘If you had accepted it as the Will of God you should have come to the wedding but you didn’t.’Kamal accused.

‘Anti Bint here told me I didn’t have to attend if I didn’t want to. She paid me what she called a solidarity visit a week to your wedding and assured me that they had seen nothing but peace, progress and stability in the marriage we shared. She said I must see your upcoming marriage as a predestined event which cannot be helped rather than as a statement of failure from you. That was when I confided in her that I didn’t think I could stand being a part of the festivities because I was deeply hurting, she advised me to keep away since it’s not written in any religious book that a wife had to participate in her husband’s second or future weddings.’Salma said.

‘You did that Anti Bint? You are supposed to be my sister. How can you pay her a solidarity visit?’ Kamal demanded.

‘Because she is my sister too, being your wife makes her my sister.’ I replied. ‘And as a fellow female I know just how it hurts to see your husband decide to take a new wife. I know that she needed solidarity and good will so I came to see her. In any case the whole family attests to the fact that we saw nothing but good in your marriage to Salma. We can’t turn a blind eye to that because you have met somebody new.’ I defended myself.

‘I see, anyway all I want is for her to see Sadiya as a friend and accept her as a sister. Is that too much to ask?’ Kamal pleaded.

‘Did I tell you I lacked sisters or friends when you went scouting for another wife? I was a happy, contented wife and mother of three. I actually thought we were happy together because I tried all I could to keep you happy. I lived by your rules. Yet out of the blues, with our marriage only seven years old you decided to give me a vote of no confidence, a certificate of failure. And you expect me to embrace her and consider her a friend and a sister? I’m sorry Kamal, but yes you were asking too much.’ Salma observed angrily.

‘Look Kamal, you have to give her time to get used to this. It’s less than two weeks ago that you got married, you can’t return fresh from your honeymoon and expect Salma to pretend that nothing has happened. In particular you must not force your bride’s presence on her until she is ready. Bringing her souvenirs into the house and displaying it all over is surely one way of forcing her presence on Salma. With time she will get used to the idea of Sadiya being a part of your lives and accept her. Do you think Sadiya herself will welcome having Salma’s face all over her house? If you want to know just pick one of your photos with Salma then go and display it in Sadiya’s sitting room. You’ll be amazed at her reaction. You men think because we are ready to accept that you are within your rights to marry other women, we should be as eager as you are to be close to them. Well, it’s not like that dear brother, be considerate about Salma’s feelings.’ I advised.

‘I suppose I have no choice in the matter. How I wish Tahir was here. I wouldn’t have been so outnumbered and out-argued.’ He answered, allowing a smile.