My private prison

‘Assalamu alaikum, good morning Halisa.’ I said walking into the sitting room towards my friend. With surprise written all over her face, she rose to hug me while answering my salam in the process. ‘You are welcome Bint, I had no idea you were coming. But it’s a nice surprise. How are you and the […]

‘Assalamu alaikum, good morning Halisa.’ I said walking into the sitting room towards my friend. With surprise written all over her face, she rose to hug me while answering my salam in the process.

‘You are welcome Bint, I had no idea you were coming. But it’s a nice surprise. How are you and the family?’ She asked, gesturing me to sit next to her on the settee.

‘Alhamdulillah, we are doing fine. I’m sorry I came unannounced but I was worried about you. I’ve tried to invite you to our meetings three times without luck. Each of the three times you said you had something important to do and you wouldn’t name it. And you were not like that before, you never used to miss The Ladies’ Parliament meetings.

That’s why I began to worry that you might be sick or just disturbed in some way and did not want to disclose it. I decided to come and see for myself. But alhamdulillah everything seems fine with you. You look great, and at peace, and busy watching your giant TV.’ I concluded with a laugh
‘Don’t be too quick to conclude that dear Bint. But I’m sorry I got you so worried. The truth is that all the three times you called to invite me, the timing was the same as one of my favourite TV series. I hate to miss them …..’

‘Did you say your favourite TV series?’ I asked, interrupting her. ‘You mean you have been missing our meetings only because you can’t afford to miss your TV shows?’ I was incredulous.
‘Yes Hajiya Bint. But it isn’t as flimsy as it sounds. Ever since my current situation I have relied on those shows to keep me going. The intrigues and betrayals all help me cope with my life and prevent me from going into depression.’ She expalined.

‘But they do repeats Halisa. From the little I know of those addictive soap operas, they repeat them every few hours so that you can be at our meeting and return home to watch a repeat of it.’ I complained.
‘Yes I know but those repeat periods I use them to watch other series. It’s like this, at 5pm I watch a gripping series from my Indian channel. It is the reason I miss our 4 to 6pm meetings. During it’s first repeat at 10pm, I watch another thrilling series from my Mexican soaps channel then in the morning at 10, during the second repeat I follow a heartrending Korean love story …..’

‘You mean even Koreans have joined the soap scene Halisa?’ I couldn’t help interrrupting.
‘Yes they have and with a good subtitle to read, you dont miss a thing.’ She assured.
‘But why Halisa, why allow your life to pass you by while you spend it before a TV screen? Is it because you no longer have small children, so you feel you have no one to take care of?’ I demanded. To my great surprise, rather than respond to me Halisa simply began to cry. She just sat there silently with the tears flowing down her cheeks.
‘Why are you crying, did I say anything to offend you? Well I didn’t mean to hurt you this much. All I wanted was to make you realise you are wasting your precious life watching TV. I mean….’

‘I know what you mean Bint. Halisa interrupted me while wiping away her tears ‘And no, its not what you said that I found offensive. It’s just that while you were talking, I recalled the incident that reduced me to the status of a TV addict. And I also realise how helpless I am to fight it. I am totally dependent on this  soap operas to keep me sane. I just can’t help myself.’ She conceded.

‘What do you mean you can’t help yourself? What incident made you a TV addict?’ I asked, perplexed.
‘My divorce. And the fact that I’ve grown so lonely since then…’

‘You are divorced?’ I asked in shock and she nodded. ‘Since when, and why are you still living in this house?’ I queried.
‘Because he said I can keep it as long as I don’t remarry. He said he would like his children’s lives to remain unaffected by what happened, therefore I should remain here and he will provide our food and pick all our bills. The day I decide to marry, then I should pack out and leave his kids behind.’ She explained, still wiping the tears.
‘How heartless of him. But when did this happen? And what caused your divorce?’ I asked.

‘I can’t say for sure. But he did say something about irreconcilable differences when he was giving me the divorce letter. Yet nothing really happened in the form of a quarrel or a fight. He just went moody for a few weeks and when his moods were over, he dropped this bombshell on me. That was four months ago.

Only my parents, siblings and our older children know. I saw no need to publicise it since I still live here. He also drops by to see his children in the day time. So he isn’t totally absent from here. But however much I try to deceive myself that everything is normal, I feel hurt and heartbroken. I feel truly lonely after 18 years of being happily married, at least, I thought we were happy.

I accepted the fact that he took two other wives after me and tried to move on, grateful for the fact that I don’t live with them.
Now he is with them 100% and I am left here all alone. Sometimes I look around this house and feel like someone living in a prison. I have almost every material thing I need but I am so unhappy. This is why the moment my kids are in school, I rush to my TV. I follow these series dedicatedly and they are therapeutic, they alleviate my pain.’ She declared, looking up at me.
To be continued.