Myths about love life of Idoma ladies
Popular opinion however holds that it is simply a case of stereotype about unmarried Idoma ladies and the effects which are often negatively cast aspersions on all of them. Some people even get unnecessarily hung up about unconfirmed facts that Benue girls are quite daring in their relationship with men. Others who feel good […]
Popular opinion however holds that it is simply a case of stereotype about unmarried Idoma ladies and the effects which are often negatively cast aspersions on all of them.
Some people even get unnecessarily hung up about unconfirmed facts that Benue girls are quite daring in their relationship with men. Others who feel good about women from this area think Idoma women are with a very strong and distinct attractive figure.
Regardless of the various schools of thoughts about the Idoma people who formed one of the tripod legs of a predominantly populated ethnic tribe in Benue state with the Tiv as the undisputed majority, the Idoma and the Igede situated at the zone ‘C’ of the South senatorial district of the state pride themselves as a very hardworking and peace loving natives.
So also are the ladies from the zone. “They are known to be efficient, effective and sufficient in handling matters of the heart to the extent that they would prefer to suffer long in nagging relationships rather than quit for obvious reasons”, Nnamdi Okechukwu retorted.
What then makes the Idoma girls unique and different from any other ethnic groups in the country? Some say they like men. Why? Perhaps, the question is still begging for a satisfactory response as no one has yet provided the right answer to this wild speculation.
Ordinarily and going by religious and traditional biases, women in this geographical location are believed to endure gender marginalization predicated on customs and traditions but this assumption has in no way yet ascertained their crave for immorality.
According to Andy Okechukwu, a Makurdi-based business man who dated an Idoma woman for several years before consummating the love affair into marriage a few years ago, the Idoma woman does not just throw herself on men, but the men’s preference for the women from this tribe is because of their commitment to reletionships.
Though, driven by the passion to pursue these girls, most men have confessed to be very comfortable with Idoma ladies for their ability to stick to their choice of lovers regardless of challenges through thick and thin.
“An average Idoma girls is respectful, honest and industrious as well as homely”, remarked Chris Odutola.
For Odutola, “Idoma girls love men because men first love them. It’s not just that most of them are beautiful, the Idomas have strong attachment to the worship of Alekwu-spirit of the ancestors which is believed to checkmate the chastity of female when betrothed or married.
“This alekwu belief instills fear and discipline in some women who would want to explore and stretch their liberties to its limits. They do not want to become victims of the dreaded gods of the land after all, and so they do everything positive to keep their man. Who wouldn’t want such ladies?” he asked.
More so, that the girls at an early age are taught to show respect to men regarded as the heads of the family induces in them the humility to practice what has been handed down over the years as tradition. When a girl becomes of age to win the love of the man she chooses to love in order to meet the growing needs of her immediate family who seldom expects her to provide for the long queue of siblings, she is well trained.
The motive behind this type of subjection even though not common nowadays is that God who gives children will always care for them by providing their basic needs, therefore, mothers who place little emphasis on the much ado about family planning especially in the rural environs ensure that their older daughters learn submission to men’s authority.
A mind-set which suggests that the eldest of the siblings-particularly the female child should be given in marriage early enough or keep male friends and be of good behavior to enable her cater for the younger kids.
Unfortunately, these uniformed decisions are usually triggered on the tripod of poverty, illiteracy and traditional dogmas. Today, however, knowledgeable women of Idoma extraction are graciously turning such weaknesses to strength that they can rely on.
Ada Adakole also fingered another factor that makes critics think Idoma ladies want men all the time: “When people lack an identity and do not feel a sense of belonging in a society that gives back only little in exchange for huge demands, there are tendencies for them to seek recognition from wrong sources and for wrong reasons”.
She explains that the cultural background gives very little opportunity for women to express their sexuality even when it involves a husband and wife. Therefore, when people observe young women crawling out of their shells to make themselves feel good, they give them a name.
“It is unfair to treat a woman like a piece of wood, yet more cruel to deny her love and care. The search and hunger to be loved lies quietly beneath many a lady’s desire to throw herself on that man who whispers sweet nothings to her emptiness.
“To my mind, this is the case of Idoma ladies and not that they are promiscuous. Idoma ladies are very responsible women, you can hardly associate their married ones with infidelity. If they are in love, they express it like every other ethnic society does and I wonder what is wrong with such expression”, she stressed.
Another respondent, Ogbole Okope maintained that the Idoma woman is sweet, charming, peaceful, hospitable and the opposite sex delight for companionship any day.
“It may sound depressing that some of the girls can be flirty as it is common with every other tribe but the truth remains that, Idoma babes are romantic and elegant depending on their admirer’s perception.”
He also frowned at people who make derogatory statement about the girls, saying, “Is there any part of this country where ladies do not love men and by the way, is there anything wrong about ladies loving men?” he asked agitatedly.
In the view, Ene Eneche, a 200-level student studying Mass communication at the Benue State University Idoma girls are undeniably, of the hottest trendy babes any man worth his onion can go for because they are naturally gifted with hospitality and are a carefully packaged take- aways for prospective husbands.