Naya Iliyasu: A friend so true
How we became friends in 1993 at Federal Government Girls College, Bakori I cannot remember, but I know that such friendship is one I can never forget. People often say that there is hypocrisy in friendship if you do not argue or fight and I disagree, because with Naya, there were no fights and no […]
How we became friends in 1993 at Federal Government Girls College, Bakori I cannot remember, but I know that such friendship is one I can never forget. People often say that there is hypocrisy in friendship if you do not argue or fight and I disagree, because with Naya, there were no fights and no arguments. It was always jokes and laughter; somehow she always had a way of making you feel loved.
I often tell myself it is not death itself that most of us fear (for it is inevitable), but the way in which one dies and the state in which it finds us.
The details of her death remain a mystery as no one can tell you for sure how she was killed or why. While most of us have refrained from asking why, we still wonder how anyone could hurt such a gentle person.
On March 9 a mutual friend wrote on facebook “A Rare gem Naya, may God give her family, friends and well wishers the fortitude to bear the loss. Adieu My dear friend, sister, may your soul rest in perfect peace.” That was how I found out. I was told she was found dead in her house in Kaduna, evidently brutally murdered.
There are no words to describe how I felt at that time, for a moment, I thought I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. I had no idea what hit me. I hardly ever cry but on this day, I didn’t even know when I began to cry; with my hand, clutched to my chest, it felt as though my heart was going to explode. Those around me thought I was in the middle of a health crisis but I wasn’t. For me, it was worse than that. It’s over a month now and I am yet to come to terms with the truth that’s starring at me in the face. I guess it’s much more convenient for me to tell myself, it is a bad dream.
It’s really hard to find a friend whose death would hurt as much as Naya’s. I never for once thought the day will come when I’ll write this tribute. When I began, I asked myself over and over what to say without making anyone feel Naya was an angel. In all honesty, it’s hard not to paint her in that light because it is who she was.
Naya always wanted to see everyone happy. Once in a while she got upset like every other human being but she never held a grudge. I think one weakness she had was trust. She trusted everyone she met and even when such persons had proven severally that they do not deserve it, she always wanted to give them the benefit of doubt.
The last time we spoke, I called her to cancel an appointment. We hadn’t seen each otehr in a while and she invited me over to her place. For no reason at all, I called to cancel; I told her I was passing through Kaduna at that moment but I couldn’t stop. I asked if we could fix another convenient time. Another appointment I missed. Today, I ask myself why I cancelled the first appointment and why I missed the second because I can never get another.
People often say that the life you live remains with you even after death and as people speak of you, what they say about you tells the kind of person you were. Naya made a lot of friends, both young and old. From those she had known all her life, to those she met in secondary school and others she met at the university (Ahmadu Bello University) and after that. And of all those I have met and those that spoke of her without even knowing that I know her, not one of them has spoken ill of her.
It makes you wonder how anyone can be so good. Naya was good to a fault; she was nice to everyone even if it meant displeasing or inconveniencing herself. Those who never really knew her thought she was a snob because she often kept to herself, but those who knew her know what a wonderful person she was.
For Naya, nothing she had was too much to be given to anyone who wanted it; all you had to do was ask. Clothes, shoes, bags, money, there was nothing she could not give to you as long as she had it. She did not care for material things; all she cared about was putting a smile on everyone’s face.
A few days ago I wrote on her wall on her facebook page knowing full well she wouldn’t respond. As I read through what others had written, one of them said ‘I still can’t get you off my mind’ and I told myself no one can. There are people that are forgotten just a few weeks, months or years after their death, but with Naya, it is difficult to get her off your mind, probably even after several years. I guess it’s because of the person she was. She can never be forgotten, not just by her family but her friends as well.
Some people say when death is near, one can tell and I wonder if it is true. Somehow, it was as though she could tell she did not have much time left. On March 5, her status update on facebook read “The one in the mirror looks like me but it isn’t me. Wish I could still see that face which was once familiar; but now I can’t cause babes are getting old”, I read it and I laughed. It probably meant much more than we all thought.
I think more than anyone could, Naya best described herself. On facebook she wrote this about herself. “I’m a strong black woman. Each time I look around our society, I see many homeless, I see thousands dying, I see hunger, poverty, rape, and pain, sickness and I know that this is the reality confronting our world today. My greatest goal in life is to render what little help I can to the needy even if it is only a smile; by so doing when I depart this world I will die feeling accomplished knowing that I’ve helped to put a smile on someone else`s face.”
With her disarming smile and charming personality, she has left in our hearts a vacuum that would certainly be impossible to fill and even though she is gone, her legacy lives on in her good virtues. Naya, I am glad I had you, not just as a friend but, as a sister. You will forever be fondly remembered by your family and friends for the joy and laughter you brought into our lives.