Never take revenge on your parents, never!

Last week, I read a post online, and it was difficult not to feel for the lady in question. She was losing it; which resulted in her asking for advice. Parents are their children’s backbone; and so there’s that notion that our parents can never fail us, no matter what. Parents, as we all know, […]

Last week, I read a post online, and it was difficult not to feel for the lady in question. She was losing it; which resulted in her asking for advice. Parents are their children’s backbone; and so there’s that notion that our parents can never fail us, no matter what. Parents, as we all know, always have the back of their children. But this story is different.

She was abandoned at a very tender age alongside her mum by her father. Ironically, her mother also abandoned her and remarried. She went through a lot in life to get an education, including being molested and having a child from that incident. Even when she tried to reconnect with her mum, she didn’t want anything to do with her. In fact, her mother didn’t want people to know she was her daughter.

She moved on with life. Today, married with children and doing well for herself, her parents feel obliged to her little wealth. She does what she can for them but they insist they want more than she is presently giving them. When she doesn’t meet their financial expectations, they blackmail her emotionally by calling the wrath of God on her for ignoring them or giving them little. Her question now is: “Do my parents deserve any care from me?” Womanhood sought some views.

Balikisu Adebayo, 42-year-old entrepreneur, advises that the lady in question should do what she can when it comes to providing for her parents. “Let her do the little she can and while at it, she should not forget whoever stood for her during her trying moments. If her parents don’t appreciate the little she does for them, then she should tell them politely she has her family to face and take care of.”

Raheema Aliyu, 45-year-old consultant, says mistakes are bound to happen in life. “We are all bound to make mistakes in life but then when it concerns your parents, you need to tread cautiously. Never repay your parents with evil no matter what. As long as they are alive, they need our love and care – be it physical, spiritual and financial. Nevertheless, be careful not to overdo things to the detriment of your spouse and children. Make sure your parents have the basic things – food, healthcare, clothing, accommodation and care. With these taken care of, you have fulfilled their basic needs and no one will hold that against you.”

Amina Shuaibu, 41-year-old teacher, “Our parents have an obligation towards us, so do we have towards them. In a situation like this, it may be difficult for her to want to give in to their blackmail, it’s very difficult but she has to be strong to overcome the hatred she feels towards them. She shouldn’t let what she has gone through as a result of their irresponsibility cloud her heart. It’s very painful when such irresponsible actions come from our parents. I have been there and I know what I am talking about. I’ll be judged for my actions towards my parents and they will be judged for their actions towards me. It is very difficult to forget but she has to be strong and get closer to God. It takes a lot of courage to let go of the past. The motherhood bond is very strong and our Holy books teach us that whoever breaks that bond, paradise is far from them. Never take revenge on your parents. The saying ‘what goes around comes around’ is very true. You may not abandon your children but somewhere along the line, what you did to your parents may come back to haunt you in one way or the other.”

She went through all these and still came out strong and successful. How many people who went through even worse situations can say they have made meaning out of their lives? She should remember that it wasn’t by her doing but by the will of God. If she decides to pay them back in their own coin, then she would be making a mockery of God’s grace in her life. Has she thought that this could be a test from God to see if she believes in faith and destiny? The Holy books stressed the need for us to take care of our parents whether they take care of us or not, it is an onus on us to take care of them till their last day.

Always treat your parents as you’d want your children to treat you. The blessings that come with taking care of your parents can’t be compared to the hatred you have built up over the years. Our parents are all we have, always have their back no matter what and better still pray to God to forgive them their mistakes.