No such thing as being too careful

“Excuse me, who are you looking for?” I asked politely. “Me?” he asked, looking my way. “I am looking for no one, I’m only out here stretching my legs.” He explained. “But where are you from, how can you be stretching your legs in our garden?” I asked. “Because I happen to live here.” He […]

“Excuse me, who are you looking for?” I asked politely.

“Me?” he asked, looking my way. “I am looking for no one, I’m only out here stretching my legs.” He explained.

“But where are you from, how can you be stretching your legs in our garden?” I asked.

“Because I happen to live here.” He replied.

“You live in this house and I don’t know you?” I asked again, perplexed.

“Well you may not know me but the woman of the house knows me, in fact she brought me here.” He replied with confidence.

“But I am the woman of this house and believe me I have never seen you before.“ I insisted.

“I have never seen you before either” Old Man replied, unperturbed. “And the woman who brought me here doesn’t look anything like you too. Only thing is I never knew there were two of you.” He explained.

“Believe me I am the only woman in this house. I don’t know who you mean, but I can assure you that there is no other wife here except me.” At that point I raised up my voice and called out to the guard. When he came I said to him. “Please explain to this gentleman who is the woman of this house.”

“It is you Ma,” the guard responded, looking confused. “Madam is the wife here.” He added looking at the old man.

“Well, I can assure you that the woman who brought me here does not look a bit like this Madam. She told me that she is the wife.” He explained looking slightly confused.

“Look Old Man”, the guard said “Oga has only one wife. Anyone who told you she is a wife here is lying.” He observed emphatically.

“The woman who brought you here, what does she look like” I asked, finally finding my voice.

“She is tall and dark, with braided long hair.” Old Man explained.

“Talatu, yes this certainly sounds like Talatu with her Bob Marley attachment.” I observed thoughtfully.

“You are right Madam, that’s what she said her name was Hajiya Talatu.” The Old Man said with obvious relief.

“Well Talatu is not a wife in this house. Exactly what do you do for her and how long have you been here?” I asked him.

“I have been doing spiritual work for her, eh, that’s what I do for a living; with great results. And I have been around for about six weeks.” he replied.

“Six weeks, how can you live here for six weeks and nobody knows you are around? Or does your spiritual work make you invisible?” I demanded incredulously.

“No, they all know that I am here”, he said pointing at the guard. “It’s just that since Hajiya Talatu said I must not let Alhaji see me, I try to keep out of sight.” Old Man explained.

“So you knew he has been here and you never told me?” I asked, addressing the guard.

“Yes Ma, but I always thought you knew about him. In fact because he is sharing Oga’s brother’s room at the guest wing, I thought he is Oga’s relative.” The guard answered uneasily.

“He has been sleeping in Turaki’s room and Turaki never mentioned it? This is amazing.” And turning to him I said. “So how have you been feeding?”

“I get fed three times daily by the man in your kitchen. He respectfully brings my breakfast, lunch and dinner, in person.” He answered.

“Curiouser and curiouser, so even my cook knows you are here and gives you special treatment. It appears that I am the only one who doesn’t know you exist. Or from what you said my husband also doesn’t. Anyway, with due respects I want to advise you to pack your things and leave this house immediately. I don’t know why Talatu brought you here but believe me if my husband gets to know about you, neither me nor her will find peace in this house. I believe she will know where to find you and bid you farewell properly.’ I instructed.

‘But Hajiya, you can’t do this to me. I am a stranger in this town. Hajiya Talatu brought me all the way from my village. If you send me to the streets where will I go? She will not know where to find me. Please let me stay until she comes here Hajiya, please I’m begging you.” The old man pleaded.

“Ok, but as soon as she comes I will send for you so that you two can leave together.” I conceded. With that I turned back into the house and headed straight for the kitchen. I met my cook there and simply asked:

“Who told you to be giving food to an old man staying in Turaki’s room?”

“You Ma” Cook responded without even looking up.

“Me? Are you crazy? How can I instruct you to give food to a man I didn’t even know existed?”

“But you did Ma. It was that day Uncle Turaki peeped in here while I was serving lunch and said to you he had a visitor in his room who needed to eat, that was when you told me to serve him food.” Cook defended himself.

“But I only agreed that you should give him food that day, in fact that lunch time only. I had no idea the man lives here and I can’t believe you continued to feed him without my knowledge.” I complained.

“I was under that impression too, until Turaki came by the following morning and said I should remember his guest during breakfast and lunch. And since I thought it was an issue he had cleared with you, I continued to feed the man without any prompting.”He explained.

“Yes I’ve heard about the VIP treatment you were giving him by personally serving him daily.” I accused.

“Yes Ma, I was only seeking the blessings that come with serving a learned old man.” Cook confessed.

“Well, let this be the last time you engage in feeding anyone whom I have not personally said is our guest. I have asked him to pack and leave.” I said, walking out of the kitchen. I went straight to my phone and began to ring first Talatu and then her accomplice Turaki. I couldn’t get her, but I got his line almost immediately. I said to him he should come home at once and he left his office and came. I confronted him with the events of the day but he apologised and said he had always advised Talatu to tell me about the man but she kept saying that I will not understand and that the man won’t be staying for long anyway. Turaki also disclosed that ever since she brought the man here she never came straight into the house when she came but will rather go and consult him first before coming in.

“What do you think she wanted him to do?’ I asked Turaki.

“She said he was helping her get another husband. That she needs one fast since she is getting lonelier and harassed at work.” Turaki explained.

“But that doesn’t make sense, how can she ask for help to get another husband and at the same time convince the old man that she is the wife here?” I asked.

“Frankly I don’t know how she did it. But I can ask the old man since he is still here. Or maybe you can ask her yourself when you summon her.” Turaki suggested. But Talatu was smart. Alarmed by my several missed calls she called her accomplice and asked what the problem was. Turaki told her I had found out about her guest. She drove her car to my house, packed outside and picked her old man and went away. I was relieved it happened that way too. I hate open confrontations. But what I can’t get over, Bint, is how careless I have been. A total stranger in my house for close to two months; a situation totally capable of putting my marriage in danger, I still can’t believe all this went on without my knowledge. This is why I was so deep in thought I never heard you come in.’Karima concluded.

‘That is not surprising but don’t blame yourself. Talatu is obviously an unscrupulous friend and you are better off without her. But what this means is that when it comes to running your home, you have to be alert and observant at all times. There is no such thing as being too careful.’I advised.