Now, this is real madness

‘But I’m just about to leave home for the same event, you have wasted your fuel coming here when I will have to rush you back there immediately.’ I said leading her into the sitting room. ‘But l won’t be going back.  I just made my great escape, that’s what I came to explain to […]

‘But I’m just about to leave home for the same event, you have wasted your fuel coming here when I will have to rush you back there immediately.’ I said leading her into the sitting room.

‘But l won’t be going back.  I just made my great escape, that’s what I came to explain to you. ‘ Salma replied taking a seat.

‘Great escape, what are you escaping from?’ I asked, perplexed.

‘Sadiya is there and there is no way I can be in the same room with her.’ She answered.

‘Who is Sadiya?’ I enquired.

‘Hellooo, you mean you don’t remember Kamal’s new wife?’ she asked dramatically.

‘Yes I do, I just didn’t think you meant her because you said you couldn’t be in the same room together.’  I observed.

‘But we can’t be Anti Bint, and I have made that very clear to him the day we came here over the issue of the souvenirs. On our way home I said to him. “You heard what your sister said, that you must never force your new wife on me and you should let me accept her in my own good time. Therefore I don’t want to see her. Don’t bring her to my house and make sure we never run into each other during your family events. In other words if you know she will be attending anything, tell me so I will keep away and if I am the one expected make sure that she keeps away. This will ensure we enjoy permanent peace in this family.” And he seemed to have agreed with me. Suddenly I went for this naming ceremony of your sister’s grandson and heard that she was already there. Can you imagine that Anti Bint? I just had to make a quiet exit. And here I am.’ She concluded.

‘Just why did you have to leave? You aren’t making sense you know.’ I observed.

‘I am not? But I had just explained that I told Kamal I don’t want to be running into her at all and …’

‘I’ve heard all that you had to say’ I interrupted. ‘But I still don’t understand why you had to leave. What are you afraid of?’ I demanded.

‘I am not afraid of anything but you know I can’t stand being there with her.’ Salma responded.

‘Believe me Salma you are afraid. And the earlier you face your fears the better. She is just another human being like you. You must not let her control your life.’ I advised.

‘I am not afraid Anti but coming face to face with her is like facing my failure in the mirror. Remember that she is the one lady who proved too irresistible to my husband. He was willing to risk breaking our marriage and staking my happiness just to get her into his life. How am I expected to face her and be civil, pretending that she is just another woman? Frankly I can’t and since I can’t, I have to make sure we never meet. Simple.’ She explained.

‘That day you and Kamal came, I agreed with you and scolded him for accusing you of insanity because you had broken his wedding souvenirs. If you continue with this hide and seek game I will have to agree with him that some of your hinges are loose. You can’t be where she is because she mirrors your failure; people must tell her to keep away if you will be around or alternatively you should be forewarned to stay away if she will be in attendance etc etc. I mean this is pure madness.  You have to wake up and face reality, but you won’t succeed in doing so by running away. Facing reality means accepting that she is a part of your lives even if you do not live together; and are not happy about it.’ I urged.

‘I know all that but you were the one who said I could keep away from the wedding if it will make me unhappy to be with them. And I was glad I took your advice. In the end I saw no evil and heard no evil even though I was still hurting inside. Now suddenly you want me to be where she is? I don’t understand. ‘ Salma asked, confused.

‘During the wedding, keeping away was the best thing for you. As a fellow woman I know exactly what you were going through even though my brother was your torturer. But now that she is here, it’s different thing. You can’t wish her away. Your only choices are to meet her stoically and accept her presence in your lives as God’s Will or to run away each time you hear she’s around and start making a laughing-stock of yourself.’ I warned.

‘But it’s just not easy Anti Bint. I mean there she is feeling on top of the world that she has won herself a husband meanwhile it’s at the expense of my happiness. I can’t bear that at all, and the more I think about it the more I feel that keeping my distance from her is my best option.’ She argued.

‘It is the best cowardly option that is. Anyway get up and let’s go right back to that naming Walima venue. My sister, the baby’s grandmum, and all our other siblings will expect to see you there. And we will not ask Sadiya to leave. What we will expect is for you two to behave with maturity and finesse. Expectations will be high on your side because you are the first and senior wife. If you handle it well you would have triumphed because everyone will recall how stoic and matured you were. But if you give in to your emotions by being snobbish towards her or by ignoring everyone, well nobody will forget how you failed this particular test. Incidentally were you not the one who said to Kamal you survived these last few months only because you convinced yourself this is a test of your faith from Almighty Allah? So where is that faith now?’ I challenged.

‘My faith is intact, I still see all that happened as a test from Him, SWT. But I don’t believe in torturing myself any further by being where I will get hurt.’ She defended.

‘All right if your faith is that strong then remember what Almighty Allah said in the Holy Quran that “No misfortune befalls the Earth or your own selves but is written in a book before it came into being. That is easy for Allah so that you may not grieve over the good things you miss or be overjoyed at what you gain.” Al-Hadeed Vrs 22. Kamal’s marriage to Sadiya is a misfortune to you because it was painful but it was also Allah’s Decree which cannot be prevented. Always remember that nothing anyone of us can do could have stopped it. Like someone said, there is no armour against fate. But bear it well and you would have won both ways. You will win our admiration because we all know what this marriage means to you and more importantly you would have passed Almighty Allah’s test inshaAllah. Please see things this way, Salma.’ I said rising up and extending a hand to her.

‘I will try Anti Bint, I will certainly try inshaAllah.’ She replied, accepting my hand and raising herself up.