How parents ‘hijack’ children’s birthday parties

As a growing child, I always enjoyed attending birthday parties. Not just because of the love for the celebrant, but for the sake of eating delicious rice and of course, the birthday cake which were not only a ‘must’ at such occasions, but were virtually rare delicacies in most homes. Aside festive periods like Christmas, […]

As a growing child, I always enjoyed attending birthday parties. Not just because of the love for the celebrant, but for the sake of eating delicious rice and of course, the birthday cake which were not only a ‘must’ at such occasions, but were virtually rare delicacies in most homes.
Aside festive periods like Christmas, Easter, New Year, weddings and similar occasions, it was only in very few relatively wealthy families that rice was served on other days.
No doubt, I was not alone in this craze. Virtually all other children that grew up with me always looked forward to celebration of birthdays of our friends, neighbours and even our so-called enemies.
Once it comes to birthday parties, which of course, was not a regular affair, nobody was tagged ‘enemy’ as long as rice and cake were going to be served.  Just like football, rice was the unifying factor among children.
Besides all these, another major factor that distinguished such events was that it was purely an ‘all-children affair’. Apart from the parents of the celebrant, who as it were, must be physically present to ensure a hitch-free organisation of the event, hardly would you see any other adults at the occasion.
Unlike what is in vogue today, where parents escort their children to and from the venue of the party, the presence of parents was not needed as the children could always find their way to the venue of the party, the distance notwithstanding.
The few adults present were mostly house helps who carry the toddlers who could not walk to the venue or help to ensure that all the children are fed, enjoy themselves and be actively involved in the party.
Unfortunately, the whole system seems to have changed. One wonders whether today’s children still enjoy the parties the way we did during our time as what used to be an ‘all-children affair’ has been hijacked by the parents. The manner parents dominate such parties leaves much to be desired.
What could be responsible for this gradual turn of events? A close observation showed that parents are not fully to be blamed. They don’t just find themselves at birthday parties meant for the children because they want to attend, they are apparently compelled to be there.
Unlike in the past when parents could easily and comfortably release their children and wards for birthday parties, regardless of the distance and the family involved, with the assurance of their safe return, such liberty could no longer be enjoyed by the children of today. The spate of abductions and kidnappings of children has made it obligatory for the parents to be physically present. 
 The situation we find ourselves is such that everyone is now security conscious and will not want to toy with the safety of their children or risk the child coming home with an injury that cannot be explained by the celebrant’s family.
Hence, it is no longer surprising to observe the heavy presence of parents and guardians at birthday parties to guarantee maximum security for their children and wards.
A parent at a recent children birthday party confessed that she always insisted on attending such occasions with her kids because she had to provide them with the needed security.
“I don’t only escort my children to the venue of the party, but also insist on staying put with them as long as the event lasts to closely monitor and supervise their activities, including what they eat, drink or take home. 
Besides supervising the activities of the children in the course of the event, the parents, most times, end up not only participating in the varieties and fun meant for the kids, but struggle with them over their limited gifts.
At the end of the day, the children, who the party was primarily organized for, are most times, shortchanged by their parents, resulting to their going back with eyes filled with tears, rather than smiling home with joy.
The financial implication on the family of the celebrant is another matter to look at.
Mrs Isaac Eze who is about to mark her son’s one year birthday said, “ if I was only planning to accommodate only the kids I would have spent much less but catering for parents too often raises the budget.
“Now when you want to mark any of your children’s birthday, a separate arrangement has to be made to entertain their parents as well, but the good side is that they are around to monitor their children and also help with the kids,” she also said.
Hajiya Hadiza Aliyu has a different view, according to her, she always encouraged her kids to celebrate their birthdays in their schools, adding that is cost effective.
“I don’t have to worry about the parents because all my four kids celebrate their birthdays in their schools under the supervision of their teachers.
“I just ask what the child will need and I provide it; party packs for his school mate,s his birthday cake and drinks and the rest and its history.
“Unfortunately this easy way out is being complicated by the parents themselves who try to compete against each other by ensuring that their ward’s parties are pronounced the best, so they go an extra mile to do something extra.
“It is now a problem, children parties have now become a venue for parents to showcase their wealth,” she added.
However Mrs Caroline Ben, a school teacher with one of the prestigious schools in Abuja said her school has come up with a means to stop parents from turning their schools into a party competition ground.
“We have a list of what the parents should provide to mark their children’s birthday in the school, it includes the party pack and juice, that is all, though sometimes we can bend over for rice in rare cases,” Ben explained.
She also said, “though in some cases, because of the restriction, some parents opt to spend their children’s birthday at home where they can have the freedom to do as they please which is okay by us because we do not want such rivalry to exist or create division in our school though they exist.”