The highs and lows of nursing a child

Having a child is one thing; nursing is a different ball game all together. The role of mothering starts from the first cry of your baby. “I could remember when I had my first baby, while thedoctors were still stitching up the cut, I saw my baby already licking her tongue-showing sign of hunger. And […]

Having a child is one thing; nursing is a different ball game all together. The role of mothering starts from the first cry of your baby. “I could remember when I had my first baby, while thedoctors were still stitching up the cut, I saw my baby already licking her tongue-showing sign of hunger. And the nurses beckoned, ‘get ready to feed your baby’,” Joanna Ugu recalled.
She continued: “Though I was happy being a mother but, honestly, after 10 hours of undergoing natural labour, I was so exhausted I could hardly look at her, let alone feel an outburst of joy towards the beautiful little infant that had just come out of me. But then I remember sitting up to nurse her not minding my pains.
“When we were discharged, the first three weeks were difficult. I was used to having my normal six to eight hours sleep, but now I had to wake up every two hours to check and feed my baby. It was not an easy experience.  I remember one morning after an endless night of feedings I was so tired that tears were streaming down my cheeks but then my daughter latched on hungrily, she curled up against me, her hands blooming on my chest like a tiny starfish, and then my heart did overflow with love for her-this amazing little baby belonged to me and already felt like a part of me. I had to adjust! “I had to sacrifice my time, energy, sleep, resources all for the child. The child rules my life indirectly! The only time I had for myself was when she was asleep. I cherish those moments when my baby was sleeping.  That was the only time I had for myself,” Ugu recounted.
While Ugu may find nursing a child too tasking, Uyo Okai enjoys the bonding she got from breastfeeding which has kept her daughter very close to her till date.“What I enjoy most about nursing a baby is the bonding. For instance, my daughter who is about seven years old wrote me a letter this morning that she still wants to come and sleep with me.  That is one of the things I enjoy most about raising a child. The bonding between the mother and child is something I cherish,” Okai explained.
For Fatima Garba, her baby just refuses to sleep at night but spends the whole day sleeping. “As a nursing mother, one of the stressful parts is that you hardly sleep in the night; some babies cry at night, their sleep is normally longer in the afternoon, so they stay awake at night. That is what my baby did when she was younger.
“I don’t enjoy that part, I miss my sleep,” she said.
But when they start growing up, walking, talking and calling you mummy, you feel fulfilled as a mother,” Garba said. However, the matron at Nisa Premier Hospital, Abuja, Mrs Grace Fache, has this advice for nursing mothers: “It is important for mothers to know that the child they are bringing into the world needs so much care.
“When you appreciate the gift of the child, then the sacrifice is worth it. That is why it is good to plan your delivery. Get people that will assist you when you deliver so that after delivery, you have time to breast feed and take care of your child. And once your baby is sleeping, then you have to sleep. That is the maternity leave period, so that you have time for your baby. For all those that are complaining, I call it sweet complain,” Fache enthuses.
Despite the toll of nursing on some mothers, each progress of a child is a landmark achievement for both baby and parents.
“I remember when my child wanted to crawl. She will lie on her stomach and behave like she wanted to fly. I and my husband would watch and say to her ‘common on’, ‘go on’, ‘you can do it’. And then, she made the first move and we were so excited. We got ready each time she wanted to crawl and we filmed her on our phones and sent to our close friends and family members,” Okai said.
For Asabe Umar, when her baby took her first step was the highest point for her. “My baby was nine months’ old when I started praying that she will start walking. I came home one day and my sister-in-law who helps to take care of her told me that Aisha has started taking one or two steps then fall down. So, I waited to see it myself. One of those days, while we were in the sitting room, Aisha took a number of steps and fell. I and my husband were overwhelmed. We rushed and grabbed her. We filmed her first steps and sent to friends and family members on Instagram and Facebook. Now that she is four, we show it to her always,” Umar recalls.
For Najim Hassan, her joy knew no bounds when her son started calling her mummy.“When my son was 18 months, he was always struggling to utter words. Sometimes, he would say ‘dada’ and then ‘mammy’. So, I and my husband were always arguing and wondering who he will call first.  “My husband wanted him to call daddy first while I wanted him to call mummy first.  So, one day from the blues, he ran after me and said mummy. I was so happy and teased his daddy that I won,” Hassan recalls.
All these are memorable moments in a child’s life which are also high points for parents. Though there may be challenges and struggles inherent in parenting – a baby crying all night, rushing the child to the emergency ward when the unexpected happens, reducing your hours of sleep as a result of breastfeeding – all these compensate for the ‘high points’ of parenthood, like holding your sleeping baby, watching them smile at you, taking those first little steps. Children come with higher “highs” than “lows”-troughs of stress and negative emotions quickly giving way to crests of joy.