Obasanjo in the year of the locust

Pesky Olusegun Obasanjo is in the news again. In the past month, he has pitiably curried headlines; reportedly earned a PhD in Theology from NOUN for which he strutted  his trademark he-goat dance to the approval of his senseless admirers. When Atiku Abubakar, his former deputy approached him for the ‘endorsement’ of his presidential bid, […]

Pesky Olusegun Obasanjo is in the news again. In the past month, he has pitiably curried headlines; reportedly earned a PhD in Theology from NOUN for which he strutted  his trademark he-goat dance to the approval of his senseless admirers. When Atiku Abubakar, his former deputy approached him for the ‘endorsement’ of his presidential bid, not only did Obasanjo rebuff him, he made a public show of the encounter; which Atiku deserved. It is only in Nigeria that politicians seek godfather endorsements because they have nothing that appeals to the electorate. It was on record that Obasanjo shamefully tore his membership of the party that rehabilitated him from a gaunt prisoner and rewarded him with a unique opportunity to govern for eight years that was a monumental failure. 

Yes, Obasanjo denies it but it is not in the place of a liar, even a smart one to rewrite history to suit their own narrative. But Obasanjo keeps attempting to edit history for a part that casts him as the centre of gravity and the hero of the narration. Obasanjo spent more time travelling around the world than he found time to govern, and the late Gani Fawehinmi chronicled it. When it was nearly over, Obasanjo coveted Third Term, he planned it, worked for it and even manipulated for it in the hope that he could somehow swing it. But then it flopped and Obasanjo flatly denies it ever crossed his mind. He would swear by Sango and Aiyelala and invoke Yemoja to bear him witness. 

So for the clowning glory he covets, he has written his umpteenth letter to another of his contemporaries – the very colourless Muhammadu Buhari – to let go of power. An unsolicited grandstanding by a man who ought to live the rest of his miserable life in hiding. So, who made Obasanjo a barometer of good governance? When was he crowned the Babaasale or grand patron of political tenure? On what antecedent does he think he qualifies to pass judgement on any president when his scorecard trips the meter of mediocrity and underperformance? What is the moral pedestal or the performance barometer that qualifies him to judge good or bad governance?

This is typical Obasanjo riding the waves of general discontent to score cheap popularity – no thanks to Buhari’s gross ineptitude and crash insouciance. The expectation is that, now that Obasanjo has ‘bombed’ Buhari, the man from Daura should start shaking and shivering. After all, this is the year of the locust – 2018 and everybody has joined the bandwagon to excoriate a general playing well below the expectations of a recruit. 

Caveat emptor! Who is Obasanjo? How does his jaundiced view carry more weight than the market woman frying boli and epa to fund her children’s education knowing they’ll end up without a job? Obasanjo’s son in the army got special treatment where more gallant officers were left to die. Why should Obasanjo know more than the retiree who invested their lifeblood with nothing for their service or their savings? What was in this missive that we don’t already know or has not been said by others? Obasanjo is a man whose courage fails in the day that valour is required. He is a crash opportunist who beats on a dead horse with frenetic frenzy but won’t approach a bleating goat. Obasanjo loves the verdict of history provided he’s allowed to pen a fictitious part for himself. We’re talking here of the man who appropriated the exploits of a whole military unit in war to My Command, dubbed others This Animal Called Man and poured roses on his low performing terms as My Watch. 

Obasanjo has nothing to teach anybody about leadership or how to run public office. His monumental failure led us here in the first place. What does he teach about security with examples of brigandage in the Niger-Delta, annihilation in Odi, or massacre in Zaki Biam that does not compare with Buhari’s nepotistic silence from Zamfara through Benue? What does he teach about corruption that does not reverberate with his Land Use Decree land grab, or about fuel scarcity with his criminal refusal to rebuild or repair refineries? What was in the legacy of his first term that qualified him to seek a second and attempt to swing a presidency in perpetuity that he now lectures Buhari not to attempt same? 

There are critics and there are critics. Obasanjo does it for bilious cant and chicanery. 

From the accident of his birth to his contrived lies about his ‘leadership’ in war, Obasanjo’s example in leadership is a litany of pitiable missed opportunities. Obasanjo does nothing except Obasanjo profits from it eventually – ask how they ruined Nicon Noga Hilton or how the poorest jailbird who became president retired as a billionaire university proprietor and farmer. He once boasted that he single-handedly handpicked his successor usurping the rights of 120 million people to determine who governs them. 

Obasanjo kicked and thrashed at all his successors until Abacha threw him in the gulag to die. Abdulsalami Abubakar handpicked and crowned him heir of MKO Abiola’s popular mandate. But a jealous Obasanjo would not grant his kinsman the immortality for the mandate he laid his life for, instead, he singularly decreed May 29 as Democracy Day in an attempt to delete June 12 from history. Obasanjo would arm-twist anyone who challenges him – from heckling reporters to throwing his fake seniority around then throwing friends and foe under the bus. Instead of building a solid foundation for a lasting democracy, Obasanjo spent time outfoxing his deputy, making a mockery of the doctrine of separation of powers by throwing banana peels at the feet of the legislature and withholding the allocation from those who try to assert their constitutional right to governance. 

High-powered political assassinations from Harry Marshal to Suliat Adedeji and Bola Ige have remained unsolved till date. Obasanjo was and is no democrat. The concept of democracy makes no meaning to him. Instead, he loves to be the centre of thought and controller of national and other people’s destinies. See how he vaunts to help Goodluck Jonathan get a slice at international fame as if he is sole administrator of political grace. 

He has nothing in history to teach anyone in power except a shard of squandered opportunities and has earned no moral right to critique anyone on good governance. He should use his PhD to start a church; it’s the only job that welcomes charlatans. It requires no entry qualification except a claim to divine calling just like the army Obasanjo joined in 1958. 

With a formal PhD – Pull Him Down in Theology, Obasanjo’s deluded mind thinks he has earned divine right to stage another civilian coup. Those suffering from selective historical amnesia and lionize him would pay him any heed. It’s a shame that Buhari’s denuded incompetence has granted this self-serving megalomaniac another bite at rewriting history. This fraud should stay in his farm and run his businesses until someone with balls brings him to book for his crimes of commission and omission against a nation that gave him much but got nothing in return.