Of husbands demanding contribution from their wives

But, more importantly, men are being diminished. The respect and esteem with which men are held as husbands and fathers who have the responsibility of taking care of their family is in danger of fading.In the Wednesday’s Aso Chronicle pullout of Daily Trust, there was a feature on how Abuja housewives sustain their families with […]

But, more importantly, men are being diminished. The respect and esteem with which men are held as husbands and fathers who have the responsibility of taking care of their family is in danger of fading.
In the Wednesday’s Aso Chronicle pullout of Daily Trust, there was a feature on how Abuja housewives sustain their families with menial jobs. It was about market women that struggled to help their families.
In the story, one woman who wanted to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons, said she was a full time housewife once, and every time her husband had a bad day he would ask her to find a job.
“He would come and say things that are really hurtful to me, like I should go and find a trade and stop eating all the food at home. That was when one of my neighbours advised me to start selling at the market, I had N3000 and she helped me with N2000 more,  and that was what I used to start selling these tomatoes,” she said.
This is one woman willing to admit such ‘abuse’, only God knows how many women suffer from similar abuse.
It is the duty of husbands to provide shelter, food and clothing among other things to their wives. Marriage is not a financial partnership, where a wife must contribute to the food she eats.
Some men have special food prepared for them alone at their houses, while the rest of the family make do with whatever they can rustle up. After all, who are they to eat delicious food like the husbands; they should be grateful for being fed.
It is this psychological torture that makes some women to do something no matter how meagre in order to bring something home, so as not to be accused of being ‘lazy’, and of eating what they have not contributed in buying.
Another housewife in the story said, “There are days I make profit but there are days I don’t, which can be frustrating. But I must work hard to make sure I contribute my quota at home.”
Of course if a woman is working or is doing business, she can buy things at home or things for her children. But that should be by her own free will. But not for the husband to wait anxiously for her money and take it away from her or deliberately leave the running of the household for her.
According to Islamic clerics, even if your wife earns a million naira as salary, it is still your responsibility to provide for her.
In the case where a husband losts his job or has some financial difficulties, it is understandable the wife should step in where she could. He is her husband and it is her children ( in most cases), so she would support him.
There are many financial hardships people face today, and if a young couple put resources together to support the family, it is good for them.
However, apparently because women are earning money that is why some men take it for granted that their wives must contribute to the running of the household.
I learnt that some young men now say they would not marry a woman that is not working, so that she can take care of herself. Can you imagine, what a shame!
In one such case,  a young woman who has inherited a house when her father  died was shocked when the man who wanted to marry her suggested that she could live in that house as he already has another wife.
According to her, she didn’t know how he found out about the house since she had never told him. Perhaps he did his own investigation and found that she had a house,  that was why he wanted to marry her. But the young woman saw through him and opted out.
The question I ask if she had agreed to the proposal is: is he going to pay her rent as he is supposed to provide shelter for her?
Women are the ones that are known to want to marry men that can take care of them, by providing for their needs. They definitely don’t want to marry where they will suffer. But it seems men now want to marry where they will not ‘suffer’.
However, it doesn’t suit men to be ‘kept’ or taken care of, by women. It is unmanly for men to ask for household contribution from their wives. Men should stand up to their responsibility and in the process, maintain their respect and dignity.