Oh no, not Aunty Hajiya!

Where does one begin when there is so much to say and the depth of grief is so profound? This had been my preoccupation since early morning yesterday, when I made up my mind to write a tribute to Hajiya Bilkisu mni, a lady I had known as a senior colleague, my husband’s associate, a […]

Where does one begin when there is so much to say and the depth of grief is so profound? This had been my preoccupation since early morning yesterday, when I made up my mind to write a tribute to Hajiya Bilkisu mni, a lady I had known as a senior colleague, my husband’s associate, a neighbour and eventually, the closest thing to a big sister.
When he broke the tragic news to me after Isha prayer last Thursday, I broke into several rounds of ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun’ before I said the only thing that I could remember, ‘She was on my mind just moments ago.’
‘Really?’ My husband asked in surprise. Yes, I said and reminded him that she was the only person who always called our son ‘Hajj Walid’ because according to her, it was inappropriate to call him Baby Walid, since he was named after my father-in-law. In her jocular manner, she will protest. ‘Haba, uban maigida guda?’
We moved next door to her, at No 6B Kabiru Road in Kaduna, when our son Abdallah (popularly known as Walid) was only 11 months old.Because his immediate elder sister, Fatima, always called him Baby Walid, everyone followed suit. Everyone, that is, except Hajiya Bilkisu.
About two hours before I heard about her death, my twin stepdaughters, Anisa and Unaisa were helping me taste the earliest-cooked sallah meat in my sitting room, along with Walid. I somehow found myself calling him Hajj Walid, much to the twins’ surprise.
I had to explain to them that that was his name too, and also added that they could call him Baby Walid if they wanted to. My son protested that he did not want to be called Baby Walid and my mind went straight back to Hajiya Bilkisu and to the fact that she was the very first person to protest that name.
Her unchallenged status as the number one female journalist in the North was the subject of much humour when former VP Atiku Abubakar called a meeting with journalists in Kaduna, early in the days of the Fourth Republic. Apparently Alhaji Atiku had noticed that the room full of journalists had no women in attendance. He therefore asked why that was so, and one of her contemporaries, who was sitting close by, reportedly answered by saying ‘Where is Bilkisu? She said she will be here.’
A little while later, when she didn’t appear, the former VP repeated his question and this time around, the CEO of a government-owned media outfit, who was unaware of the earlier response, answered the same way by saying ‘Where is Bilkisu? She promised to be here.’ At that point VP Atiku reportedly said ‘Do you mean that in the whole of Kaduna there is only one female journalist?’ And everyone laughed.
Some female journalists who felt aggrieved by the incident took to their columns and complained bitterly about not being invited. But the point made by those who invited only her was that she alone was representative of all female journalists in town.Her reputation as an unbeatable member of her profession, who towered above most others of her gender in the North, was indeed well-deserved. When someone like me was still a student, she was already the editor of the then highly successful Sunday Triumph. Then soon afterwards she became the editor of the New Nigerian. She was the first to attain both feats in both cases.
But it wasn’t only in journalism that Bilkisu Yusuf made her mark. Some might argue that she made an even bigger mark in civil society engagements. For sure she was an indefatigable activist, who both at home and abroad, was tireless in her pursuit of the good of the common man. ‘Mama NGOs’ was what she called herself once, while visiting me, because she kept receiving calls from various organizations seeking one appointment or another with her.
And it’s not only in her career pursuits that Aunty Hajiya, as I came to be calling her later, made indelible marks in the minds of people.
Once when having dinner with Alan Feinstein, the author of Malam Aminu Kano’s official biography, and his wife; at the home of Nigeria’s acting consul-general in Johannesburg, I heard something remarkable about Hajiya Bilkisu’s moral standing.
Malam Adamu Abbas and his wife Hajiya Laraba had invited us to dinner with the explanation that they were hosting an elderly American couple and would like us to join them. We gladly accepted. Mr Feinstein and wife too did not come alone, they invited their South African hosts, a Jewish couple to come along. While we were having dinner, they told us all about their Nigerian friends.
Then, almost out of the blues, Mrs Feinstein asked ‘Do you know Bilkisu Yusuf?’ and we said we did. She turned to her South African hosts and said ‘This is a woman who studied in the United States but she never shakes hands with men.’ I don’t know whether she was forced to recall that because I didn’t shake hands with their men, but my husband corroborated what she said by saying that that was very true of Bilkisu, who was then his colleague on the Citizen magazine board.
He added that he once witnessed her refuse to accept the hands of a military ruler, when he offered it to her.
I came to know more about Aunty Bilkisu’s moral authority and strict self-discipline when we lived next-door to each other. For quite a while, she was without a car to drive herself around because the man she entrusted with selling her car had run away with it. But Bilkisu would rather use commercial vehicles to go far distances or walk the ‘short distance’ from her Kabiru Road residence to her office on Sultan Rd Kaduna, because she ‘needed the exercise’ than ask or pester anyone to give her a car.
She had the name and the influence with which to solicit for contracts and get herself a comfortable car but she held her pride and did no such thing. She had been a divorcee for over a decade then but the austere and purposeful lifestyle she chose for herself will not allow her to make herself a burden on anyone. When she finally saved enough to buy a new car, it was a small Toyota that she settled for. Hajiya went for nothing that will stand her out in the crowd.
When she got married to her second husband Malam Mustapha Bintube, then a banking executive, people expected her to raise her standard of living to reflect an easier life but she didn’t. She remained with her Toyota till dare-devil armed robbers took it from her at gun-point, in front of her house.
Like I’ve said earlier there is so much to write about my dear neighbor, friend and mentor that one does not even know what to say and what to leave out. Is it the numerous times we have crossed over to each other’s house, through our adjoining door, with the breaking news of the day, or is it her sense of humour, her generosity, her fashion sense or her great involvement in religious and inter-faith activities that one should recall and talk about?
When she came to congratulate me after I had my daughter Bilkisu 13 years ago, she had informed me that she was away at Makkah, observing the Umra when I delivered. She said she was born on December 2nd and if my baby had waited another day, they will share not only names but birthdays as well (my daughter was born on December 1st.)
And that was when she told me that she had celebrated her 50th birthday in Makkah and it was the best birthday ever because she celebrated it right next to the Ka’aba, in prayers and devotion. Alas, she had no way of knowing that her final resting place will be somewhere, not too far from the Ka’aba as well.
May Almighty Allah accept her shahada, as well as those of all those who died along with her. Aunty Bilkisu’s loss was a great loss to all of us who knew and worked with her but we take great solace in the hadith that says ‘Whoever died while performing the Hajj or Umra will not be questioned in the grave and will not be made to face the Reckoning on the Day of Judgement.’ In other words theirs will be a smooth sail to paradise in sha Allah. Adieu Aunty Hajiya, may Allah SWT re-unite us in His Mercy and paradise, amin.