Older wives, younger husbands:Why the fuss?

Age as they say is just a number but when the difference is well over 20 years then there is definitely a problem. It is worse in this case where the age difference is 37 years. The woman in question might see it as love but it will soon dawn on her that this it […]

Age as they say is just a number but when the difference is well over 20 years then there is definitely a problem. It is worse in this case where the age difference is 37 years. The woman in question might see it as love but it will soon dawn on her that this it is actually a clear case of infatuation.

Marrying a younger man is not a bad idea but on the other hand the decision by the two of them to come together as a husband and wife would really need to stand the test of time.

For instance, in this particular case it is very clear that the husband is still a minor. This new groom is 18 years, impliedly, he is still within the teenage age bracket man. As a man, he just has started growing, a stage in life in which sociologists would say such a person is still not well prepared enough to take critical decisions such as the one has done and plunged into deeply.  As he grows older, certainly he would come to realize that there is more to life than being with a woman who is his grandma’s age.

Second, though I do not know the trait of this latest bride – probably this guy could be lucky to be in Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) shoes. The Pophet who married Nana Khadija who was 25 years older than Him, yet she remained not only humble but submissive to the Prophet – women being who they are always will want to exert their authority when they are the ones older in a relationship.  This will not be without consequence if what we are afraid eventually happens, because the more you try to control a man, the more he drifts and eventually opts out of the marriage all together.

There is the need to understand that men at this age are not ripe enough to understand what it means to be married. So it is for many women too. For him at this stage, it is all about fun and having someone provide all he his needs. When the import of his misstep finally dawns on him, he will definitely look elsewhere, leaving the woman to wallow in pain and regrets.

Intrestingly, this marriage is a subject of litigation in the court for which ruling is expected on April 16. Various objections are being raised by relations of the bride and groom. The objections are weighty as they appear. Now all these present a major challenge to the new couple. How they are going to handle it and come out unscattered remain to be seen.

“When I read the story it was funny at first but then I asked myself why on earth would she go that far by getting married to a teenager?  Is it that she can’t find a man within her age range to get married to? Well, to me, it’s absurd and I am sure she has an ulterior motive and only wants to manipulate the guy. This is the level that poverty has taken the country to. For me that is the only reason that the teenage boy would have agreed to marry her. He wants an easy going and already made life and he got it on a platter of gold,” says Abdullahi Isah, an accountant.

Rakiya Shehu, a businesswoman  is of the opinion that the woman only wants to destroy the life of the young man. “At her age what does she want from the young man? In the case of men they will claim they want to inject fresh blood but at her age what blood is she trying to refresh? For God sake she is over 50 and moreover her biological clock will run out sooner than later, except they intend to adopt a baby, she cannot have an issue with him. Wonders will never cease to end in the world, we only hear of these kind of things in the western world but now it’s happening right under our very own noses,” she said.

“It is not wrong to marry a woman older than yourself as long as they are both adults and mutually consenting, but in this instance it is a clear case of a suicide mission.  We are talking of a 55-year-old woman and 18-year-old man; that to me is a mother and a son! It’s not worth the pain and embarrassment.  The guy has nothing to loose as life goes on with or without her at the end; he is still young and can get on with his life anytime he so desires. He is still a teenager and when he is well into his twenties, he will come to terms with the reality and move on to someone much younger. Trust me, men will be men, it is just a matter of time, except if she has charmed him,” says Biodun Ojolowo.

‘’ I think it is okay for a woman to be older than man when married. Both of you will be able to have a good relationship together because since you are more mature than him, you will be able to be more patience and your love for him will be unconditional and he will be able to appreciate you more on the long run. Sometimes when girls are the same age as their mates, they usually are more impatient when they do not have their ways, and the relationship sometimes does not survive the hardship they are enduring, but in this case the endurance is going to be more on the woman, because as her husband ages  on he will do things his mates out there are doing, except she accepts it as her fate, she will be in ruins but as they say in marriage for better, for worse!” says Adams Aminu.