On the famed Dauranization of governance
One of my greatest shocks since Sai Baba entered the throne he vacated after 30 years earlier is that after three decades, nothing better was worthy of our trust. Thought like that might turn people into serial monogamists. Imagine being married to the same person for 30 years, except that in marriage, people change, and […]

One of my greatest shocks since Sai Baba entered the throne he vacated after 30 years earlier is that after three decades, nothing better was worthy of our trust. Thought like that might turn people into serial monogamists. Imagine being married to the same person for 30 years, except that in marriage, people change, and nothing is better than change – ask the APC and they’ll tell you that change is good! Before campaigning for change, evaluate what service is worth and who could provide it so that you’re not short-changed.
Except your name is Bob Marley or the I-Threes; people don’t like being called wailers. For Bob, it was ok because it brought fame and was a money-spinner. In Naija, wailing is not only affiliated with grief, it is a loser’s lot. If in doubt, ask Nuhu Ribadu! Hailers are winners and everyone loves to hail or be hailed. It’s in our gene as a religiously ungodly people; we hate the idea of stones taking our place. Master Jesus warned jealous rulers of his time that heaven was capable of replacing them with stones if they failed to do their hailing duties. Today, most people follow the hailing trail for fear of being overtaken by either a lifeless dutse or its bigger brother, the mountain.
For me, I hail not just for fear of having my father’s name replaced with the giant stone in front of our ancestral home; it is in resignation to the fact that most of us are born to hail those positioned over and above us. Let me warn those who say that Allah has no voting card and therefore does not make kings that this is apostasy.
To the majority of us who eat insults with the butter of scriptures, if leadership is divinely preordained everything else is divinely sanctioned. Only fools would fail to accept my parody of V.I. Lenin’s assertion that the history of primitive societies is fraught with class struggle. Elements climbing multiple floor buildings one step at a time due to lack of electricity to power elevators might argue that Naija has passed the primitive stage after all out of every, there is a Didymus.
So, a gentle lady was made NPA boss and those who have no containers are complaining. What for? Have they or their parents ever won elections? Could they not wait for God to rotate the baked bread of power and add butter to it for them in their own time?
This is why I am a patriot of a different hue. One of the reasons I am in the hailer’s corner is that I was born to a poor farming household that even in the age of GPS needed several protest letters to California for acceptance as a village by Facebook. So, if I fail to support the Dauranisation of government or the so-called backdoor employment, it would be sacrilegious, and tantamount to kicking against both the goads and the gods. I have read with shame, the subtle protests over federal appointments in the era of change.
How could anyone who accepts the divine providence of power question the rationale behind how its spoils are distributed? In Erdogan’s Turkey, that would be treason. In other climes; it would be sacrilege. Me thinks its both here in Naija although Daurectorate of Secret Service, DSS is lenient with the law, people should not take gentility for cowardice.
Here is an oath I think genuine patriots should endorse: – We the sons and daughters of the drawers of water and ewers of wood, pledge our unflinching support and loyalty to this and other actions carried out by those exercising divine mandate. We dissociate ourselves from all and every protest by those who want to incur divine wrath on us with their protests; conscious that protests could stop northern cows from grazing; dry the fountains of crude oil and damage forests that shield cocoa plantations.
We have diligently served the parents of our masters; we would serve the children they’re positioning and we expect our children to tow the line world without end or until, as someone rightly said that time comes when the poor would have nothing else to eat but the flesh of their oppressors. If we have any rights to the mundane things of the earth, such as employment, education, good roads, electricity or social services, we hereby repudiate any claims to them in obedience to divine bargain for a promised better hereafter. We agree that jobs, where they exist should not be advertised, but filled overnight by traditional ruiners and top government functionaries so that there could be bread on the table of our masters and hunger and despair that propels cerebral recalibration.
We forewarn that henceforth anyone protesting or goading people to protest the Dauranisation of our destiny do so at their own risks. Our children may be helplessly hopeless in this world; they will get jobs in heaven.
So help us God.