Operation Blitzkrieg

Within one week the whole of Tafki State was buzzing with talk that I will be the next governor of the state. “He must be very popular,” one visitor from out of the state was heard saying at the Izgili motor park of our state capital, Birnin Tafki. “Where ever I go, it is his […]

Within one week the whole of Tafki State was buzzing with talk that I will be the next governor of the state. “He must be very popular,” one visitor from out of the state was heard saying at the Izgili motor park of our state capital, Birnin Tafki. “Where ever I go, it is his picture that I see.”
That was because our campaign’s Youth Wing did alot of work within three days. We got two printing presses in Birnin Tafki, one in Kaduna and another one in Abuja to drop everything they were doing and print my colour posters. Tsinin Kusa brought one very fussy photographer who made me to pose in 30 different ways for a poster picture. The man made me to change cloth, sit this way, adjust that way, lift this hand, lower that shoulder, look up, look sideways. In fact, I got tired at one point and told him to just snap whatever he sees. Anyway, my posters are now on every tree, every wall, every dust bin, every bridge and every junk car in Tafki State. It was the work of our Youth Wing; they finished many pots of glue to stick those posters.
Not only did they stick the posters but our Youth Leader Maitawaye also set up roving bands of youths to guard the posters. They sit at street corners and watch if anyone will try to deface my poster. They beat up several boys from Goshin Bauna’s camp that tried to deface my poster. But they themselves will go in the night and splash paint at the posters of other aspirants and if their boys try to retaliate, they beat them up.
In the last one week, our Women’s Wing leader Hajiya Dela Yar’guguwa also showed the stuff that she is made of. She went to every local government in Tafki State and distributed 200 wrappers on which my picture was emblazoned. Tailors were hired to work throughout the night and sew them. Our teams then went from house to house and distributed them. The next morning, women and girls would appear from all directions in the wrappers. Goshin Bauna’s men tried to copy us; they went and printed wrappers with his picture and ran around looking for tailors to sew them but our Youth Wing went round and warned that if any tailor touched them, his sewing machine will be smashed.
Then we arranged newspaper adverts and radio jingles. We went to Bauchi and got these Hausa film singers to compose three nice jingles for us and we bought a hundred slots on the radio and television. We placed full colour ads in the newspapers; you open it and see my picture smiling at you and saying “Your headaches will end if you vote him in.” There are three major roads leading into Birnin Tafki and on each one we erected a large billboard. You see my picture waving and smiling with the message “Tafki sai Alhaji.”
In fact, one thing we did that I enjoyed very much last week was the opinion poll. One of Maikahon Karo’s boys went and arranged with the editor of our local community newspaper, Tafki Chronicle. The following day the paper published what it said was an opinion poll carried out by an expert research team. It found that 77% of respondents want me to be the next governor of Tafki State. 12% opted for Goshin Bauna while the rest were undecided. The newspaper even published an analysis by the side which said “Alhaji was preferred by all age groups, both genders, the educated and the illiterate and by both the poor and the rich.” We were very happy with the opinion poll and we sent a small Ghana Must Go Bag to the editor. We heard that the opinion poll caused panic in Goshin Bauna’s campaign office and they went round the town saying it is fake, that no one did any opinion poll.  
Next, Tsinin Kusa went round and arranged with some Malams. We know that His Excellency the Governor listens very well to predictions by Malams. Tsini said it is certain that since the primary election time table has been announced, H.E will go to one Malam and ask for guidance. Since we were not sure which one he will go to, Tsinin Kusa went and arranged with five of the most powerful Malams. Sure enough, three days later one of the Malams reported back that H.E visited him at midnight. He asked the Malam to check the stars and see which aspirant is shining. The Malam pretended to look and look and he finally said he saw a man with a short goatee beard. Since Goshin Bauna is always clean shaven, H.E knew it was me.
Even my younger brother Bilal helped. He had stopped campaigning for me since the time Maikaho forcefully separated him from H.E’s sister that he wanted to marry. This time he came up with an idea. With his knowledge of computer tricks and Photoshop, he downloaded a film where each Local Government chairman in the state was bending down to greet the governor during last year’s Sallah courtesy call. Bilal edited the film, removed H.E from it and inserted me. He then went to NTA and placed a paid advert where the film showed 10 local government chairmen bending down one by one to greet me. Goshin Bauna’s campaign manager ran to NTA and said the film was fake but no one listened to him.
Then we arranged to deliver the knockout punch. At H.E’s age, Maikaho found out that even though his father is long deceased his paternal grandmother is still living. She lives in one village in Kunkuwa Local Government with her new husband, who is also a very old man. Maikaho drove to the village in this Isuzu truck that they call dogon baro. He unloaded rice, millet, vegetable oil, sugar and milk at the gate of her house until there was nowhere to pass. He then went inside and spread wrappers, perfumes and money such that there was no place to sit. He asked her to pray for me to become the governor. The old woman did more than that. She said even her grandson never showed her as much love as I did. She therefore sent a message to H.E that whoever stands in the way of my becoming the governor, she will never forgive the breast milk that his father suckled from her.