Ouch! Jonathan just missed $5m!

My quarrel with the Mo Prize committee headed by the former Tanzanian Prime Minister Salim Ahmad Salim is that they did not wait a few more weeks to evaluate all the eligible candidates before they hastily awarded the prize to a Namibian. The award is given each year to an elected African leader who governed […]

My quarrel with the Mo Prize committee headed by the former Tanzanian Prime Minister Salim Ahmad Salim is that they did not wait a few more weeks to evaluate all the eligible candidates before they hastily awarded the prize to a Namibian. The award is given each year to an elected African leader who governed well, raised living standards of his countrymen and then left office. In the past they used to wait until a leader has returned safely to his home village before he gets the prize. This year they are in a hurry because no one won the prize four times in the last five years and people were beginning to say that old man Mo Ibrahim is cleverly conserving his money.
So they gave it to Pohamba who has not left office yet. How are they sure that he will not do something in his final days in office that could scuttle his previous eight year record? Anyway, that is not even the part that annoys me. It is that there are other outgoing African presidents who also need $5 million, like our own Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. Many Nigerians are saying that he will be heading to Otuoke side after March 28 so he needs a good parting gift.
What is it that they said Pohamba did? That he “cemented Namibia’s reputation as a well-governed, stable and inclusive democracy with strong media freedom and respect for human rights.” Only? That one is peanuts! Didn’t they hear about the Transformation Agenda that has turned Nigeria in five years from a basket case to a land of milk and honey? Mo Ibrahim should kindly retrieve his money from Pohamba and give it to the man of Goodluck. He may no longer sit atop the NNPC’s sieve-like accounts after May 29 so $5million can at least sustain Mama Peace’s wardrobes for a year.
 
APC, please bring back our petrol!

For a long time I have been scratching my head to find out who was it that caused all the shortages we are experiencing in Nigeria. I am very glad that our erudite friend Chief Femi Fani-Kayode has helped us to solve this riddle by exposing the people [actually, the party] that has caused all our suffering.
In a statement he issued on Monday on behalf of the PDP Presidential Campaign Organisation (PDPPCO) Fani-Kayode said the fuel scarcity that suddenly exploded in Nigeria at the weekend was due to “sabotage by the opposition APC which has infiltrated the ranks of fuel marketers.” He added that “fuel marketers have taken a sub-contract from the opposition to frustrate supplies of petrol to fuel stations as part of a grand plan to create tension in the polity. We know who the fuel marketers are. We know the relationship that exists between one of the biggest fuel marketers and a national leader of the APC. These unconscionable opposition elements infiltrated the ranks of the fuel marketers, whom they have contracted, in a calculated attempt to frustrate the good efforts of government.”
“Why have they taken this time when all hands are on deck for the March 28 elections to cause this artificial fuel scarcity? This shows how desperate and wicked the opposition APC can be in their quest for presidential power. Must they make Nigerians suffer simply because they want to rule? They must desist from this act of sabotage.” He also revealed that APC has concluded plans to sabotage the national electricity grid in order to cause power outages and make PDP look bad just before the elections.
Haba APC, this is not good. I hear that you are the ones that hoarded fertilizer, armed Boko Haram, hid workers’ salaries, sabotaged NLC elections, crashed international oil prices, depressed the stock market, crashed the naira value, and that you are planning to sabotage card readers and PVCs. Please now APC, what you are doing is bad…