Our children are watching

Social development, like emotional development, is the story of the learning of attitudes and the formation of habits of response. Our first social responses as individuals are to our parents and other members of our family; then our wider circle of relations and friends; and thereafter to the people of our community, our nation and […]

Social development, like emotional development, is the story of the learning of attitudes and the formation of habits of response. Our first social responses as individuals are to our parents and other members of our family; then our wider circle of relations and friends; and thereafter to the people of our community, our nation and continent. The outcome of how we feel towards other people is how we have been taught to feel by direct or indirect means.
Social environment is a strong force for developing the attitudes, views, opinions and beliefs of the individual. The strength of these thoughts or feelings depends entirely on how firmly they have become established as habits. The more deeply they become entrenched as habits, the longer they would persist.
This, in essence, is to say that what we utter and do as parents in the home; as teachers in the school; as leaders (president, governors, legislators and local government chairmen) in the political space; as pastors in the church; as Imams in the mosques; as statesmen; elders and community leaders; all impact positively or negatively on the character of the young ones. Of course, the role of tools of socialization including print and electronic media (radio, television, and newspaper) cannot be ignored given the influence they bring to bear upon the mind, character and personality of children and youths.
We give gratitude to Allah (SWT) that the days when senators turned the floor of the upper chamber into a platform for slapping themselves or fighting and tearing their clothes apart are over. Few years back, it almost became a daily occurrence that attracted children to wait by television set to watch NTA news and see how legislators disgrace themselves during plenary sessions. While this sad scenario seems to have died down in the chambers of the National Assembly, recent events indicate that governors are trying to revive the despicable trend. Last week, there was a report in the media that two governors nearly exchanged blows at PDP forum. That is politics without morality. Well, this is no longer news in ‘democratic (?)’ Nigeria because Governor Sule Lamido once reminded us that ‘morality has no place in politics’. This means that morality and politics are not compatible. 
Embarrassing speeches in the form of blatant lies as well as poor communication skills by leaders and persons in position of authority have both become a common pattern of behavior among public officers in recent times. The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria is, by way of illustration, a classical case in point. The recent CNN Christiane Amanpour’s interview with President Goodluck Jonathan on January 23, 2013 did not portray the president very well in his use of language or familiarity with ordinary Nigerians’ problems. During the interview, President Jonathan claimed that “ordinary Nigerians on the streets of Lagos and Abuja” can confirm “there is stable light (sic)” in the country.
It is not very nice that the president made a claim which many Nigerians may dispute its accuracy. Besides, has Nigeria now become a country of only two cities: Lagos and Abuja? The president’s ability in spoken English is seen by many as inadequate for the political office he occupies. Our children watched the video clips of these interviews in which Jonathan made contestable statements.  In his weekly column in the Sunday Trust newspaper Politics of Grammar, my colleague Farook Kperogi while showcasing the consequences of Jonathan’s ‘speech acts’ remarked that “the usage pattern of the elite of any country especially of the president who is the most important political and cultural figure in a country tend to get naturalized and imitated by the general population over time”.
My eleven-year old daughter, Aisha, quoted the Minister of Information Labaran Maku to have said on the day of the burial of President Jonathan’s late brother that, “Today is a sad and joyful day because while our president is burying his junior brother, our vice president’s daughters are wedding”. The young girl asked me: “Why did the minister choose to use the expression ‘junior brother’ instead of ‘younger brother’?” I told her ‘younger brother’ is actually a better expression preferred by enlightened speakers of English language; and that ‘junior brother’ is a colloquial expression in Nigerian English. We must not under-estimate the curiosity of children.
Children are also watching how government protects lawbreakers. Two weeks ago, another little girl, Umaymah, asked me if the name of President Jonathan’s father is Maina. “Why do you think so?” I asked. “Because his name was repeatedly mentioned on radio and television more than President Jonathan’s name,” she said. I told her Maina’s name is in the media for alleged misappropriation of huge sums of money.  You can see how children read meanings into the things we do. They ask questions about unusual things that they see and hear from adults especially leaders.
What are we teaching our children when we do not tell the real truth about issues that are even known to young children? What are we teaching them when we dress indecently? What are we teaching them when we beat traffic lights while they are in the car with us? What are we teaching them when we insult teachers in the presence of our children? What are we also teaching them when we disown agreements concluded among ourselves? May Allah (SWT) guide us to conduct ourselves (in speech and behaviours) in the most righteous manner that will influence our children positively, amin.