President Jones Vs over-pampered Lagosians

It was to prevent them from turning the vehicles into weapons of embarrassment against a man whom their governor has little or no respect for as an opposition member. But like spoilt brats, they had the temerity to complain on the same social media that was brought to Naija by President Jones. Some of them […]

It was to prevent them from turning the vehicles into weapons of embarrassment against a man whom their governor has little or no respect for as an opposition member. But like spoilt brats, they had the temerity to complain on the same social media that was brought to Naija by President Jones. Some of them were said to have threatened to withdraw support for continuity as a result. As my friend would say – thank God I was not among of them.
If I had been, they would have severed diplomatic relations with Stephen Harper, who has spoilt me rotten by demystifying power. Whenever the pump price of petrol allows me to drive in downtown Ottawa, I am always amazed that the next limousine may be taking my prime minister somewhere – no Mopol, no siren, no road closure. Silly Canadians, they won’t indulge their Prime Minister at all, he must stop at traffic lights – which works – always. North Americans make political office totally unattractive. What’s the essence of power if you can’t slice through mid-day traffic like a hot knife cutting through butter? The other day, John Kerry got a ticket for allowing a snow pileup in his house while he was doing the business of state in another country. Try that with the Anyim Pius and see if you survive it. I understand Obanikoro’s son cruises round Lagos in diplomatic number plates. His father was once the ruining party’s ambassador in Ghana! Now he would have military escort to boot.
If you visit from silly North America and start complaining about tyre deflation, it is understandable. But ajepako Lagos brats?! Cut me some slack! Nobody was detained or charged to court for using the same road as the comedian-in-chief here they are complaining and issuing threats. If they failed to vote for GEJ on March 28, the djinns in Marina would take their places – believe that.
This happens when Babatunde Raji Fashola is your governor for eight years. The chap won’t blow siren and is a one-man vigilante who insults uniformed officers who drive either on BRT lanes or drive against traffic – all these of course before the era of Mbunity. Fashola is on a one-man disinfectant trying to deflate the viral balloon of bigmanism. This virus has been known to make fully-grown men forget who they are. When trapped in the cozy web of indiscipline they are known to ask the psychotic question – do you know who I am? I predicted weeks back that this clash of titans would happen now that President Jones has relocated to Lagos. I suggest Fashola moves to Atlantic City to avoid embarrassment. As thief Bode George knows, there can never be two captains in charge of one boat.
President Jones is head of state, comedian-in-chief, reigning; defending and undisputed custodian of the federal seal and grand lord of the whole nation. People afflicted by political cataract might swear to the contrary, there is only one party in Naija. If not that America will know, none other would be registered. That is why, when President Jones met John Kerry the other day, it was at the imperial office in Marina.
Lagosians shout change like their infamous bus conductors but there cannot be a parallel government while PDP is still in power. This is why I was shocked that anyone would complain that their tyres were deflated when they themselves were not beaten black and blue and charged for treason. Next time, their tokunbo security-risk cars block the road, it should be shredded at owner’s expense and as Digbolugi Fayose would say – the heavens won’t fall. They should take lessons from Rotimi Amaechi who knows how to avoid being stoned to death for shouting change like a Lagos bus conductor. He downgrades his level of importance whenever the first wife is in town.
Lagos deserves more than Fashola, which is why logic dictates that a failed dispenser is better than a qualified accountant as successor. It is to remind Lagosians that the earth, spreading from Otuoke to Ikeja is Dr. Jones’s, including all that live in it. If anybody doubts it, let him take off where the late Gani Fawehinmi stopped, counting the number of times the president visits Lagos now that foreigners are tired of him.
Here’s the catch spoilt Lagosians, endure some personal privations caused by election-induced-dynamism. It’s a small price because whatever happens on March 28 your redemption draweth near. If Buhari wins, he will be a Stephen Harper austere in outlook; and if President Jones returns, he won’t be making any more Lagos trips than he has made in the four years before elections forced him to remember his Marina office. Eko people ma binu; a weak tiger exhibit its tigritude.