Protecting your child from sexual abuse

Gory details of how adults sexually molest underage children irrespective of gender continue to trend in the news. Although the girl-child is the most affected, the boy-child is not completely left out in this horrible act sometimes perpetrated by people that should protect the child. Child sexual abuse in Nigeria is an offence under several […]

Gory details of how adults sexually molest underage children irrespective of gender continue to trend in the news. Although the girl-child is the most affected, the boy-child is not completely left out in this horrible act sometimes perpetrated by people that should protect the child.

Child sexual abuse in Nigeria is an offence under several sections of Chapter 21 of the country’s Criminal Code with the age of consent put at 18.

According to the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), six out of 10 children in Nigeria experience emotional, physical or sexual abuse before the age of 18, with half experiencing physical violence.

UNICEF, in the Nigeria Violence against Children Survey (carried out by the National Population Commission (NPC), with the support of UNICEF and US Centre for Disease Control and Prevention), revealed that half of all children in Nigeria experience violence.

The survey also revealed that four in 10 girls experience sexual violence, while one in 10 boys experiences same. It also revealed that one in six girls and one in six boys experience emotional violence before age 18 and only four per cent of abused kids get the needed help.

Another data from the Cece Yara Foundation (Save the Child) also revealed that every afternoon, no less than 10,000 girls and no less than 5,000 boys in Nigeria experience sexual violence, while 84 per cent of girls and 61 per cent of boys in Nigeria who experience childhood sex abuse do not know where to seek help.

A Social Psychologist and an Anger Management Coach, Mrs. Oluwatoyin Ogunkanmi, said with increasing news on sexual abuse, it is important for parents to look into the direction of how to prevent their children from the predators so as to reduce the risk of them being assaulted.

Mrs. Ogunkanmi said parents had a very important role to play in preventing child molestation by giving sex education to their children, and not exposing them to predators, adding that parents needed to verify and know all those who had access to their children because most predators were known and familiar to the family. 

“Most predators are people familiar to your family. It could be an uncle, brother, aunty, neighbour, trusted friend, cousin and so on. You must be wary of the people coming in and out of your house,” she said.

Ogunkanmi advised parents to develop an open channel of communication with their children so that they could feel comfortable to tell them everything. 

“Let your child know the difference between private and public parts of the body. The difference between appropriate and inappropriate touches,” she said.

Steps to take in avoiding child molestation, according to her,

Encourage your children to talk about themselves. Children cannot be expected to understand when it is okay to say “No” to or run away from an adult. Instead, build trust by regularly talking to them about their day’s activities.

Look For “Red Flags.” Sex offenders often “groom” parents and children to gain their trust. 

Know where your children are per time and who they are with at all times. Know their friends and their parents.  

Make sure there is always more than one adult with any group of children.

Tell your kids, “Bad touch is bad touch and no one gets to do it to your bodies.” 

Understand the signs: abuse is not usually as obvious as broken bones or bruises.

Take action if you suspect abuse. If you suspect that your kids have been abused, you need to contact the police.

Choose b    carefully: whether it’s a househelp, a new school, or an afterschool activity; be diligent about screening those you put  for your child in their care.

Talk to the media. Incidents of sexual violence are frequently covered in the news.

Know the warning signs. Become familiar with the warning signs of child sexual abuse and notice any change with your child, no matter how small.