Putting your child at risk out of ignorance

Recent happenings in the society have shown that no-one can be trusted, especially when it concerns children. How wise is it for parents to send their children, especially daughters, to a male friend’s residence on an errand? Simply known as Mama Tessy, a 39-year-old secretary explained: “My husband has no concrete job at the moment. […]

Recent happenings in the society have shown that no-one can be trusted, especially when it concerns children. How wise is it for parents to send their children, especially daughters, to a male friend’s residence on an errand?
Simply known as Mama Tessy, a 39-year-old secretary explained: “My husband has no concrete job at the moment. I work, but it is not enough to meet all our needs. My husband has the habit of asking his friends for money and ends up sending our daughter to go and collect it. I have always advised him against such errands, trying to make him understand that it’s not wise or safe, but he won’t listen. How do I get him to stop before something bad happens to my daughter in the process of collecting loans from his friends?”
Recently, the media has been awash with stories of how girls have been taken advantage of by people close to them and even their families. Many would then want to ask why any man who cherishes his daughter’s life and dignity will take the risk of sending his teenage daughter to a grown man’s house, alone.
Ladidi Ibrahim, 39, is a Pharmacist. She says the man should check online and feast upon several stories about friends who rape neighbours’ and family friends’ children.
Maureen Tokuta, a 38-year-old nurse said she can’t stop their daughter from respecting her dad by going on an errand. “Rather, she needs to sit her husband down and tell him how risky it is for their daughter. Also, encourage him to get a job no matter how small the pay is.”
Chinedu Okonkwo, 43, is a Cardiologist. He says: “This is risky because their daughter could be a scapegoat one day. I know of some women who would say their daughters shouldn’t go on such errands, thereby encouraging her to disrespect her dad. I disagree on that method, not that I support the man’s method either. I will suggest both couples talk about it. Most importantly, the mother has a lot of talking to do with her daughter especially if the father is adamant about the errands to his friends. In a home where a father will say ‘yes’ to the kids and the mother says ‘no’, problems will arise and also confuse the children. Both parties must be on one side when it comes to dealing with the kids.”
Aisha Abdullahi, a 40-year-old banker, says the situation is very dangerous. “She could be raped or molested and will be too scared to reveal whatever she is going through. Tell your husband to never send his daughter to his friends again. His daughter’s safety should be of paramount importance to him, not money. If he refuses to listen, warn your daughter never to go such places again. Then monitor her closely.  Some issues call for drastic actions. Please stand upright for that girl; she won’t forgive you if anything bad happens to her. Please call his family members to call him to order and stop endangering the young girl’s life. As a mother, stand up for her.”
Marriage Counsellor, Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi, said the situation is delicate and serious. “Telling your daughter to stop going on his errands will make him think you are encouraging her to disrespect him. On the other hand, allowing her to keep going on such errands might result to sexual assault. I will suggest that, as mothers, we should be calm when giving advice to our husbands on issues like this. Let him know that going to his friend’s house to collect money is not safe. Let him see reason with you concerning this. Talking it out should help.” She, however, expressed fear for another issue: “On the other hand, you are gradually teaching your daughter the wrong things, that begging and borrowing is the norm and the only way one can survive. As parents we should be good role models to our children and not show them the low sides of life.”