Radhiyah Yusuf (1945-2012): An epitome of goodness has gone home
The day she died, at 67 years of age, we were in celebratory mood, being the birthdays of two members of our family, one of which was her last born. To add to our joy that day was the birth of a new baby by one of the children of one of Mama Rali’s younger […]
The day she died, at 67 years of age, we were in celebratory mood, being the birthdays of two members of our family, one of which was her last born. To add to our joy that day was the birth of a new baby by one of the children of one of Mama Rali’s younger sisters. I remember my young son saying “Now, we have three birthdays in our family!” after I broke the news of the newborn to him and his siblings.
Although Mama Rali had suffered from a heart condition which necessitated her to seek medical treatment in Abuja, and hence take residence with us, she was hale and hearty on the day she died. A few crises far in between had us rush her to the hospital in panic within the roughly twenty-one months that she boarded with us, but none of those incidents proved fatal. She always bounced back, thanks to God for the prompt medical care she got and the loving attendance of the family.
Prior to her passing, the last time we had had to rush her to the hospital was over three months to the day that she died. I recall that my husband, Mama Rali’s brother and principal care-giver, shelved his initial plans to take her to Egypt for further medical evaluation at her speedy progress. She joked with my children on what was to be her last day with us and confirmed plans to travel to our home town with the rest of the family this festive season.
Mama Rali’s call came around 7.50pm while we were out in town for a family dinner to mark the birthday of one of the day’s celebrants, my co-wife. Mama said she wasn’t feeling too good. We promptly ordered a relative back home to take her to the hospital immediately. The outing was cut short and the race to meet them up at the Zankli Hospital in Abuja began. But when we got there barely ten minutes after, Mama was already gone. It was unbelievable!
The times I was so hard-hit by the death of close family was in 2008 and 2009. My mum had passed away at the National Hospital, Abuja, a week after she clocked 52 years in March of 2008 due to breast cancer. I thought the world would end then, but it didn’t. And just eleven months after, in February 2009, my dad, who had suffered from diabetes, equally gave up at the State House Clinic, Abuja.
It’s hard to imagine that they are now all lying in their graves at the Gwarimpa Cemetery, along with countless others before and after them. Inna lillahi wa’inna illaehi raji’un! (From Allah we came and to Him is our return!) Mama Rali’s death has stirred my remembrance of death at a greater level. I remember crying “But we were just together moments ago!” when we arrived the hospital to meet her lifeless body at the back seat of the car as though she was sleeping.
But a consolation to all who knew Mama Rali is that she was an epitome of goodness to all. Till this day —- and I’m sure for a long time after we are gone —- she would continue to be remembered for her admirable qualities of simplicity, humility, forthrightness, love for all, truth and endurance. She touched too many lives to count and fostered peaceful coexistence between her family members. She never held a grudge and always did right by everyone. I have never met a more patient and gentle-natured human being. That is why I felt strongly compelled to write this tribute in her memory, something I haven’t been able to bring myself to do since my mum’s death.
Mama Rali was a mother to us all. Her hard struggles in life bore her accomplished children who I believe would remain forever grateful as I am that she was a part of their lives. After my mum died and I had my third child, she promptly took up mum’s role. She stayed up at nights with the baby and never let me remember that my parents were gone. I never felt alone nor lacked anything due to the emotional and physical support she gave me. And they say women should beware of their in-laws! I make bold to say Mama Rali was as good as they came, maybe better and I miss her terribly.
I have yet to know a meticulous planner like Mama Rali! So meticulous with plans was she that she would call to remind you of things that had no bearing to herself. She was concerned about the well-being of everyone around her. The day she died, she called her aged mother back at our home town thrice asking after her well-being. She was content with very little and never complained. I think that when she died, she was a happy woman.
And so I pray that her death should not be a trial for those of us left behind, especially her aged mother and children. Thank God she lived to see them marry and bear children. She was blessed in more ways than one, masha Allah! May Allah, the Guardian of the faithful and truthful, of which she was, forgive her shortcomings and be merciful to her.
“O Allah, Forgive our living, our dead, our young, our old, our males and our females, those of us who are present and those of us who are absent. O Allah, whosoever among us You cause to die, let him die in faith. O Allah, Do not deprive us of our reward for supplicating for her, and cause us not to go astray after her. Ameen!
Mama Rali lives on in our thoughts and prayers…Rest in peace.
Mrs Ajibola wrote this tribute from Abuja