RAMADAN 2 – CELEBRATING OUR IFTAR MAKERS

It is the women of the house who thankfully make Ramadan such a joyful period. Without mothers, there wouldn’t be much of an Iftar to look forward to, and much less of a Sahur. Therefore, let us today celebrate those who make Ramadan what is to us: a blessing and bliss.One wonders how many hours […]

It is the women of the house who thankfully make Ramadan such a joyful period. Without mothers, there wouldn’t be much of an Iftar to look forward to, and much less of a Sahur. Therefore, let us today celebrate those who make Ramadan what is to us: a blessing and bliss.
One wonders how many hours of work women put to the work of Iftar and Sahur. If the woman has conventional work outside the house during the day, it may be safe to assume women work for more than 24 hours within any 24-hour period during Ramadan. Bless them. (Should not each one of us then take time to observe his wife and/or mother during this period to be able to fathom how long they toil?) As they say, ‘the teacher’s reward is in heaven’; in the case of mothers, then, that has to be repeated thrice.
In Islam, of course, a mother is more important – thrice more – than a father. Our greatest authority, Prophet Muhammad, upon whom be peace, was asked by Hakim bin Hizam: ‘To whom should I be kind?’ The Prophet replied, ‘Your mother.’ Hakim asked again, ‘Then to whom?’ The Prophet repeated, ‘Your mother.’ Hakim asked for a third time, ‘Then to whom?’ The Prophet again replied, ‘Your mother.’ Only when Hakim asked the fourth time, ‘Then to whom?’ that the Prophet replied, ‘Your father.’ And O how much does she deserve it! How busy our mothers – and women – are! Especially during Ramadan.
In discussing this Hadith, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Abdul-Azîz Ibn Bâz (d. 1999) says in his Majmoo’ Fataawaa: “…This necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father. The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder – responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her…”
In the article, ‘What does Islam say about mothers?’ (in islamswomen.com), Ansar Al-’Adl says: “…The status of mothers – and consequently that of women – is elevated to the highest position in Islam. The honour Islam has given to mothers is beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is clear proof of the lofty status of Muslim Women. Iyas Ibn Mu’awiyah, a famous Islamic scholar from the second generation of Muslims, cried profusely when his mother died, and was asked why. He replied, ‘I used to have two gates open to Paradise, now one of them is closed. For the Prophet (upon whom be peace) has said, ‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’.”
The full version of Hadith is: “It is narrated that a man once consulted the Prophet about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: ‘(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.’” (Tirmidhi).
In today’s world, when one considers ‘human rights’ and ‘equal rights’ and ‘dignity of labour’ and similar Western agitations, one would think Islam is at the bottom of the heap. A feminist blogger, Sara Yasin (who graduated from London School of Economics’ Gender Institute in 2010) (on blogs.lse.ac.uk) discusses gender roles during Ramadan:
“I think it is pertinent to think about some of the issues faced by Muslim women in relation to Ramadan. My mother is a great example of this. She was saddled with the double burden of strengthening her relationship with God and tending to a house full of really hungry people. The work increased for all of the women I knew during Ramadan, and I think it is worthwhile to stop and think about how the burdens of a more gruelling social and spiritual calendar are distributed within the household.
“While the whole family trudged through the day’s fast, my mother was also expected to be in the kitchen, creating an elaborate meal for us to have at sundown. I did not think twice about the fact that it was expected that my mother, who was also fasting, would slave away in order to ensure that we had our favourite Ramadan treats on the table. At the same time, my mother would also want to capitalise on the faith-based components of Ramadan, but time devoted to cleaning up after Iftars and tending to us after a late night sugar rush interfered was most likely exhausting.
“As I got older, it was expected that I would help her, rather than my brother who was allowed to fast without helping in the kitchen. Being the dramatic Ramadan queen that I was, I preferred watching cartoons, taking a nap, or exaggerating my hunger rather than helping my mother. Such an expectation was more grounded in cultural notions rather than religious ones, but the burden remained the same throughout my childhood.
“Questioning the distribution of labour in a household is not exclusive to Muslim households. In retrospect, I think that would have been a crucial time to re-negotiate how we distributed domestic work throughout the household. Not just during Ramadan, but for the whole year,” according to blogger Sara Yasin.
Then there is the famous story (in Sahih Muslim) of Uways of Qaran whom the Prophet (upon whom be peace) prophesied about, saying: “There will come to you…from Yemen a man called Uways…from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a coin. He has a mother and he has always treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah, Allah will fulfill his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so.”
The second Caliph of Islam, Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) indeed met Uways and he was exactly as the Prophet described him. Upon Umar’s request, Uways prayed for him. Commenting on this narration, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi writes: “What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the Prophet recommended his Sahabah [companions] to seek him out and ask him to pray for them!”
And who is a mother? To Washington Irving: “A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
And who is a mother? To Tenneva Jordan: “A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
Indeed, wallahi! May Allah be pleased with our mothers, and may he forgive those of them that have passed on, amin. A sha ruwa lafiya.