Ramadan: How women balance worship and family care

It is that time of the year again – Ramadan, a season where women are at the peak of their homely responsibilities, with all the cooking and cleaning and still finding time for work and taking care of the home. Have you ever wondered how women find enough rest and time for worship while also […]

It is that time of the year again – Ramadan, a season where women are at the peak of their homely responsibilities, with all the cooking and cleaning and still finding time for work and taking care of the home.

Have you ever wondered how women find enough rest and time for worship while also caring for their families during the month of Ramadan? While every fasting person struggles with hunger and thirst and strives to increase acts of worship, women do the same, yet their domestic responsibilities, including cooking and care-giving, often increase, especially at iftar and suhoor, when others are preparing to rest.

Ramadan is a month of worship, sacrifice and joy for all Muslims. However, for women, especially married women and young mothers, it often comes with added exhaustion and anxiety: housework, the pressure of food expenses amid rising prices or lack of money, and the fear of missing sahoor or iftar; all these combined with work life for the working woman.

How do working women cope in such circumstances? Malama A’isha Isyaku is one of the numerous working women in today’s world who navigate Ramadan under these conditions. She is a secondary school teacher, a wife and a mother of four. For her, Ramadan is not just a month of fasting, it is a test of endurance, planning and emotional resilience.

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“In the past, I was always afraid when Ramadan approached, not because of the fasting itself but because of how I would balance everything without losing the rewards of the month. There was school work, returning home tired, cooking, caring for the children, and above all, worship. And none of these could be neglected,” she said.

She told Weekend Trust that during the early years of her marriage15 years ago, she entered Ramadan without any plan, and as a result, exhaustion often overwhelmed her, sometimes affecting her focus during worship. Gradually, she realised that Ramadan itself was not the problem, but the fear and lack of preparation with which she entered it.

Now, before the holy month begins, A’isha plans her life for the Ramadan season carefully. She prepares meal schedules for iftar and suhoor, allocates her limited finances and organises her work and rest time. This scheduled structure currently allows her to carve out personal time for rest and worship: Qur’an recitation, remembrance (zikr) and sleep.

Despite this, the rising cost of living has made such planning more difficult in recent years. Although food prices in Kano are lower this year compared to last year, limited income prevented her from shopping for Ramadan as she usually does in the past.

“When I look back, the little I earned before seemed more blessed than what I earn now. My income has increased, but I can’t even do half of what I used to do. Alhamdulillah, food items are cheaper this year than last year, but honestly, I can only afford five measures of rice, half a carton of spaghetti, and macaroni.

“For beans, I can only buy two measures during Ramadan, then add one measure of millet. That’s all I can manage. If we receive charity, we thank God. If not, we manage like that. Hunger is not a sin,” she said.

A’isha said this reality caused many women to approach Ramadan with fear. “If you don’t have money, every day feels like a test from God to measure your faith,” she added.

 

‘The first 10 days are the hardest’

Hajiya Tabawa Isa, 48, a full-time housewife of over 20 years of marriage with seven children, said that although she would not work outside her home, Ramadan increases her workload far more than other times.

“I don’t have an external job, but housework never ends,” she said.

At sahoor, she ensures that everyone eats before she does. At iftar, she prepares everything and eats last, after making sure that everyone is well-fed and satisfied. She then cares for the children, cleans the house and finds time for worship before retiring to bed for the night.

According to her, the first 10 days of Ramadan are the most difficult.

“Sometimes you want to sit and read the Qur’an, but the children are crying or asking for food. There is lack of sleep. Your husband is waiting for you to finish preparing iftar foods on time, and if you miss suhoor or delay the iftar, the blame falls entirely on you.

“I have six boys; the youngest is a girl. They all go out to work and leave everything to me. I do everything alone, yet, by God’s wisdom, I don’t collapse,” she said.

Despite the challenges, Hajiya Tabawa said Ramadan did not overwhelm her as much as some women. She attributes this to experience and familiarity with domestic life, noting that she knows how to simplify tasks and insists that complicated or excessive cooking is unnecessary.

“Planning and simplicity are required,” she stressed.

This view aligns with that of Halimatu Abdullahi, a journalist in Kano. For her, the main reason many women fear Ramadan is the lack of planning.

“Some women are careless. By the time they wake up, the time they should have started work has already passed. Tasks pile up and overwhelm them,” she said. In such situations, women enter Ramadan burdened with anxiety.

“There is also the problem of cooking excessively. Some women prepare too much food, more than can be eaten. This increases fatigue and leads to food wastage,” she added.

Halimatu said that when women organise their lives, Ramadan becomes easier. “If everything is planned, before breaking the fast a woman can finish her chores, clean the kitchen and still have time to rest,” she said.

She noted that some women prepare sahoor and iftar meals together to reduce the burden of early morning cooking, while others store food using modern preservation methods. This allows them more time for worship without exhaustion.

 

Lives of working-class women during Ramadan

Halimatu also spoke about the lives of working-class women during Ramadan, saying it is not formal education that changes a woman, but how she organises her life.

“Most women who work outside the home have structured schedules, and that helps them plan other aspects of their lives,” she said.

A’isha Isyaku agreed, saying that teaching taught her the value of time, adding, “If you don’t plan your time, it will consume you.”

However, even women who are not formally educated or employed can experience an easier Ramadan with proper planning. Hajiya Tabawa said there’s no reason a full-time housewife should enter Ramadan overwhelmed. “You are already at home. If you know what you are doing, everything will fall into place,” she said.

 

What women love most about Ramadan

She acknowledged that high living costs and large families could make things difficult. Despite these challenges, there are aspects of Ramadan that women cherish deeply. A’isha and Hajiya Tabawa both mentioned increased worship. Ramadan allows them to draw closer to God more than at any other time.

Halimatu said she felt greater peace and happiness during Ramadan than at any other time of the year, adding, “Rewards increase, worship increases.” This spiritual fulfilment helps many women forget the hardship.

Food at iftar and sahoor also plays an important role in women’s lives. In the past, sahoor was seen as a major task, requiring waking up in the middle of the night to cook, but today, things have changed. Many women combine sahoor and iftar meals, while others store food to reheat for sahoor. This shift reflects changing lifestyles and rising food costs.

“People no longer wake up at 2 am like our parents used to,” Halimatu said. This simplification allows women more rest.

On the other hand, Ramadan strengthens family bonds. Despite the difficulties, families gather at iftar to eat together. According to A’isha, this is when she feels the joy of being with her children and husband.

Ramadan teaches children patience and endurance through hunger, making all the efforts feel worthwhile, Hajiya Tabawa said.