Ramadan: On character building
Do we find ourselves as spiritually backward after the Fast is over as and than when the month began? Perhaps our lack of knowledge of the real objectives of Fasting often tends to produce an adverse effect in us for, as is well known, the best of medicines could have ill-effects if not taken in […]
Do we find ourselves as spiritually backward after the Fast is over as and than when the month began? Perhaps our lack of knowledge of the real objectives of Fasting often tends to produce an adverse effect in us for, as is well known, the best of medicines could have ill-effects if not taken in accordance with the physician’s instructions.
Fasting is meant to mellow us into exhibiting the finer tracts of human character. We ought to welcome Fasting as a practical means of reforming ourselves rather than considering the period as an inevitable religious bondage, eagerly awaiting the time to free ourselves therefrom at the end of the month, to resume our ways of old again.
That is why today, like we do on this Column every other year, in the spirit of Fazakkir!, we shall remind ourselves those human character-moulding exhortations from the book DON’T BE SAD (original Arabic name LA TAHZAN) by Aaidh Ibn Abdullah Al-Qarnee, one of the most phenomenal books one may ever come across. The English translation, all of 456 pages (free download at https://archive.org/details/DontBeSad_14), is well rendered by Faisal ibn Muhammad, and is very digestible. It aims at repelling despair and replacing it with a pragmatic and ultimately satisfying outlook on life. Al Qarni, in his Introduction, says the book is not only for Muslims, but is suitable for all readers, as it contains sayings of Eastern and Western writers and philosophers. We shall reproduce a few snippets to take us beyond Ramadan. Enjoy:
DOING GOOD TO OTHERS GIVES COMFORT TO THE HEART: The first person who benefits from an act of charity is the benefactor himself; by finding peace, by watching a smile form on the lips of another. If you find yourself in distress, show kindness to others, give to the needy, defend the oppressed, feed the poor, help those in distress, and visit the sick. Especially in this month of Ramadan.
THE PAST IS GONE FOREVER: Do not live in the nightmares of former times or under the shade of what you have missed. Episodes of the past are finished with; sadness cannot retrieve them, melancholy cannot make things right, and depression will never bring the past back to life.
TODAY IS ALL THAT YOU HAVE: When you wake up in the morning, do not expect to see the evening. Live as though today is all that you have. Yesterday has passed with its good and evil, while tomorrow has not yet arrived. If you have eaten warm, fresh bread today, then what do yesterday’s dry, rotten bread and tomorrows’s anticipated bread matter?
LEAVE THE FUTURE ALONE UNTIL IT COMES: Be not hasty and do not rush for things that have yet to come to pass. Do you think it wise to pick fruits before they become ripe? Many are those who cry because they see themselves starving tomorrow, falling sick after a month, or because they fear the world will come to an end after a year. Someone who has no clue as to when he will die (which is all of us) should not busy himself with such thoughts. Since you are absorbed in the toils of today, leave tomorrow until it comes. Beware of becoming unduly attached to future prospects in this world.
DO NOT EXPECT GRATITUDE FROM ANYBODY: Do not be dismayed when you find that others forget your favours or disregard your kind acts. Some people may even despise you and treat you as enemy for no other reason than that you have shown them kindness. Hence do not be in a state of agitation if you give someone a pen as a gift and he uses it to satirise you, or if you give someone a walking stick to lean upon and he strikes you with it. Most human beings are ungrateful to the Lord Himself Who created them and sustains them, so why bother if they are ungrateful to you?
CONTEMPLATE AND BE THANKFUL: Remember the favours of Allah upon you and how they surround you from above and below – indeed from every direction. Should you take it lightly that you slumber soundly while misery hinders the sleep of many? You possess all that life has to offer, yet you remain ignorant of those that have nothing? You have feet? Consider those who have not. Consider the faculties of hearing and seeing with which you have been endowed, while many have not. Reflect on your ability to reason, and remember those who suffer from mental ailments.
BE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE: If you are a seeker of happiness, be satisfied with the looks Allah has favoured you with, with your family situation, with the sound of your voice, with the level of your understanding. In fact, you should imagine being contented with even less than you have now.
PEOPLE SHOULD DEPEND ON YOU, NOT YOU ON THEM: The noble-hearted one works for people and does not allow them to serve him. Therefore, make no decisions or plans that will require your reliance upon others. Be useful to people, do not use them. Stand on your own.
FAITH IS LIFE ITSELF: Those that are wretched, in the full sense of the word, are those that are bereft of the treasures of faith. They are always in misery, anger and humiliation.
DON’T BE SAD: Sadness enervates the spirit’s will to action, paralysing the body into inactivity. The secret of this is that sadness prevents one from action, instead of compelling one towards it. The heart benefits nothing through grief. Sadness is a harmful element that afflicts the soul. There is no real benefit in sadness; in fact, Prophet Muhammad, upon whom be peace, used to seek refuge from sadness in this supplication: ‘O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief.”
And then, as you prepare to enjoy your iftar of today, which may include chicken, let us cap this week’s Column with this story from the book GEMS AND JEWELS (free download at http://www.pdfbooksfree.org/2013/02/gems-and-jewels-by-abdul-malik-mujahid.html), another wonderful publication by Abdul-Malik Mujahid:
“A story has been related about a man who once sat with his wife to eat a barbecued chicken. A beggar then knocked on the door, and when the man went to answer it, he scolded the beggar and drove him away. It was the Will of Allah that afterwards that same man should become poor and should be bereft of all material possessions; because of his poverty, he had to divorce his wife. She married another man, and one day she was sitting with him to eat a barbecued chicken, when someone knocked on the door. The man said to his wife, ‘Give this chicken to the man at the door.’ When she opened it, she was shocked to realise that it was her first husband. She gave him the chicken and returned, crying. Her husband asked her what was the matter, and she informed him that the man at the door was her previous husband. She then told him about the story of the beggar that her previous husband had scolded and sent away, and her husband said, ‘By Allah, I was that beggar.’”
So, as you sit before that barbecued chicken with your wife during tonight’s iftar, remember that perhaps the most delicious thing your neighbour will ever have is kunu and (im)pure water. So guard yourself against his marrying your wife, she of the barbecued chicken! Give him that chicken! Allah Ya karba!