Re: I’ve still not met my Mr. Right

Your interview with Hajiya Altine Abdullahi, the National President of Widows, Divorcees and Orphans, was very interesting. One commends her indefatigable commitment to the interest and cause of these social groups. On why she herself has not married since after her divorce, she insists that she is yet to find a man who is ready […]

Your interview with Hajiya Altine Abdullahi, the National President of Widows, Divorcees and Orphans, was very interesting. One commends her indefatigable commitment to the interest and cause of these social groups. On why she herself has not married since after her divorce, she insists that she is yet to find a man who is ready to meet her conditions and that she cannot compromise on these conditions.  Is there such a thing called a perfect man or a perfect woman? Whenever women shout about waiting for Mr. Right, I chuckle and wonder at what they are talking about. Insistence on perfection suggests that women are flawless by nature and that men are inherently bad. This theory doesn’t hold water in reality. There are bad guys and good guys as there are good women and bad women. As one relationship expert posits, “There is always something to admire and something to bear in every individual.” The quest for Mr. Right is therefore a wild goose chase. Lana Turner, the celebrated American actress of the 70s, famously said that “a good husband is one who has more money than his wife can spend and a good woman is one who can find that husband.” Turner’s quote is a revelation! Let our women perfection theorists recognize the fact that potential couples can disguise their true colours in order to look good and lure the other into marriage. In time, their true natures may manifest themselves in a way they cannot handle, forcing them to tolerate each other or putting a strain on the relationship.

Na-Allah Mohammed Zagga is a journalist based in Abuja