Re-pray, has the culture of toshi died?
The concept of toshi never existed in Islamic culture. Thus it cannot be said to have died. Granted toshi is a Hausa custom and it thrilled young girls at the thought of having a fixed relationship. Toshi makes the marriage process expensive. Considering the realities of our times how many young men and their parents […]
The concept of toshi never existed in Islamic culture. Thus it cannot be said to have died.
Granted toshi is a Hausa custom and it thrilled young girls at the thought of having a fixed relationship.
Toshi makes the marriage process expensive. Considering the realities of our times how many young men and their parents can afford the list of provisions and other ‘niceties’ that made toshi memorable?
Corn flakes, Eid-el-Mubarak(sic) rams or sallah rams are the exclusive preserve of the super rich.
In view of the fact that majority of Nigerians are either Muslims or Christians, it worth noting that strict adherents of either religion would rather have marriages that are not financially stressful.
Coming back home to Islam, I am sure you are aware of the fact the Rasul (SAW) contracted marriages or nikah with sadaq (sadaki) consisting of 20 verses of the Qur’an. Besides, the Rasul (SAW) has told us that the least expensive and least complex marriage is the most blessed.
If as you say that our young men who do not give toshi are mean, of what relevance is the prophetic admonition?
Permit me to inform you that our parents, teachers and custodians of prophetic traditions, the Ulama (may Allah be merciful to them), may just need only the interval between two salats to decide on the suitability of spouses. This has completely eliminated the need for toshi. This is assumed that the prospective couple would have made their decisions from standard procedures including istkhara.
The practice of giving pocket money, supporting telecom desires, purchase of provisions, etc by a young man to a prospective wife just makes an expensive venture unattainable. It is not surprising that the population of unmarried adults is rising geometrically. Kano State government, please rescue us.
What do you say of parents who for fear of repercussions prevent the young maiden from using toshi items until after the marriage is contracted? Are you not aware of the situations when the relationship crashes due to irreconcilable differences, and the young man asks for a refund of his toshi items? I am sure you have witnessed such scenarios and the pain that accompanies them.
Let me remind us that the girls who received the most expensive toshi or the longest list of toshi grantors may not necessarily have marital harmony because marriage now has an expensive price tag.
This beautiful practice is expensive and our men are running to other tribes where the cost of marriage is cheaper.
Rather than place emphasis on toshi, please ask if these men can maintain our sisters’ basic needs after marriage.
If Daddy or Mummy’s boy delivered toshi before marriage, what assurance do we have that the standard exhibited in toshi would be sustained after marriage?
What would make you more unhappy, the prospect of an unmarried sister, daughter, or friend or the presence of a responsible man who cannot deliver toshi?
Have you thought of the source of the toshi? halal or haram? The ball is in your court.
Aisha Mamman Dept of Haematology,
ABUTH, Zaria.
Your article on the dwindling enthusiasm for the noble culture of toshi among the Hausawa makes an interesting reading.
It is my firm opinion that toshi should be highly encouraged. It is a very effective tool for upholding the dignity of the noble concept of marriage and imparting the values of generosity.
I totally disagree with the slogan of Madakin Magana alias “Baka Toshi”. It is too frugal.
Engr Muhammad Hassan
Abuja
I read your article on toshi, though it is a good culture, but people of this generation may think of it as old fashioned.
Ahmed Sanusi, Damaturu
It is good that you brought out this topic of toshi. In fact people are wondering about such a beautiful culture, after all if a man intends to marry a girl a gift every now and then says more of how serious he is, especially during occasions such as Sallah. But most of the men now court girls without small gifts, I wonder what is wrong with them.
Fatima Abba, Kano