Re – The implication of cheap marriage

The prophet (saw) encouraged less expense for weddings; and in several traditions highly encouraged men to be dutiful to their wives.There are several known cases of expensive weddings in which the wives are treated like bought-slaves.Lesser expenses should be encouraged, so we do not end up with Miserable Spinsters (MS), while men should be taught […]

The prophet (saw) encouraged less expense for weddings; and in several traditions highly encouraged men to be dutiful to their wives.
There are several known cases of expensive weddings in which the wives are treated like bought-slaves.
Lesser expenses should be encouraged, so we do not end up with Miserable Spinsters (MS), while men should be taught and encouraged to measure up to the responsibilities of marriage.
Kashim Usman

Wellcome back to your column Fragments, Hajiya. I nearly asked what has happened to the column. I like it because  it is discussing issues affecting the people unlike politics that dorminate news and views most times. On this topic, I believe much crises confronting married partners today are not product of cheap or expensive marriage.
 Lack of sincerity, truth, fear of God, patience, fairness, discipline are mostly the problems of most marriages. Moral decadence, bad orientation, selfishness contribute to the problem of marriages too. Men and women tend to cherish marriage not as act of ibadah (worship) requiring sacrifice, resillence, understanding, cooperation, support, tolerance, hard work, obeying   rules  among others.
Bagudu Minna

After reading your article, I came to realise either you are not grounded in knowing the Hikma( wisdom),of MATR (what you called erroneously as dowry), or just trying to spark a debate. Matr is not dowry that’s why you equate it with “…marrying a goat”. It means marital gift which is a show of affection and commitment to the duties expected of a husband. This is  why it could be paid before the marriage contract, or after.
 Furthermore  the parents are expected to get a good deal for the bride, if she is a maiden  going for her first marriage  or the woman can get for  herself if she is  a divorcee or a widow,  because marriage is a civil contract and like all contracts in Islam must be in writing with conditions and warranties which are enforceable in Islamic courts.  If our culture decides to elevate verbal contract to a level not decreed by Allah, then that is what we need to change not the lack of understanding of the Hikma of matr.  At this point let me correct you, the minimum sadak is less than N10,000, not N30,000 as stated by you.(it fluctuates with the value of gold, and tied to minimum amount that the hadd punishment for theft under Islamic law). However there is no limit to be paid as matr in Islam, thus you can adopt the style of your neighbours the Kanuri and Shuwa Arabs where gold is used.
Your upbringing as Hausa woman and the clash of acquired “western education”, is to my mind misleading your understanding of the aforesaid Hikma and your ignorance  may have  influenced your article.
Please when writing on a sensitive subject bordering on religion, kindly endeavour to do a little research because of your readers ( not necessarily of your column but the newspapers), may find it offensive and a skewed representation of our religion which is receiving stereotyping bashing globally without adding yours to the mix.
Kindly recall Islam was the first religion to elevate the right of a woman; nay the girl child, and the famous saying of ‘educating a girl as educating a nation’  was a hadith of the prophet(SAW) paraphrased and not credited to the originator.
Abdullah Murtala Muhammad Esq Muhinab Chambers,  Jimmy
Carter Street, Asokoro,Abuja.

I commend your effort. But why didn’t you support your article with quotes from Qur’an and Hadith. These are the two books that should form the basis of every religious teaching in Islam.
Secondly, you appeared to be too sentimental and feministic. Should we forget about marriage and allow young girls indulging in living wayward lives. It is common these days seeing small girls having sex outside and even getting unwanted pregnancies.
Please discuss this topic from Islamic point of view on how marital institution should be established and the role of both couples.
Abubakar Akote

There is nothing wrong with a cheap marriage. This is the sunnah.
During the time of the prophet, someone gave the dowry of an iron ring for marriage.
You’re looking at it from the wrong perspective.
What you should be advocating is for husbands to fear Allah regarding their wives.
They should feed them and clothe them reasonably and not withhold from them.
They should also educate them and make them good mothers to children of the Muslim Ummah.
Nigeria is a relatively poor country. Making marriages more expensive only helps spread corruption. If a man needs and extra 2-3 years of saving to get married, what do you think he is going to be doing in the mean time?
Mustafa Mu’azu