Reasons why women don’t reveal their age

Thirty-seven-year-old Mariam (not real name) lost her two years relationship that was already heading for marriage the moment her fiancé’s relatives discovered she was about a year and a few months older than their son. All the fight and arguments from her and her fiancé received stiff opposition until they couldn’t stand it any longer […]

Thirty-seven-year-old Mariam (not real name) lost her two years relationship that was already heading for marriage the moment her fiancé’s relatives discovered she was about a year and a few months older than their son.

All the fight and arguments from her and her fiancé received stiff opposition until they couldn’t stand it any longer and went their separate ways. Mariam, petite in nature and never looked her real age, vowed not to reveal her real age again whenever she entered into another relationship.

There is a popular saying, ‘don’t ask a woman her age’ and the above scenario seems to be one reason among many why some women are averse to revealing their age truthfully. An online blog, evewoman.co stated that, getting a woman to tell you their real age is as difficult as convincing her that just one “selfie” is enough and some women get very offended when you press on the age issue.

Homefront sought the views of some women on why they find it difficult to reveal their real age and the responses were varied.  Ngozi David, a banker who smiled while responding to the question said, “I cannot tell you my real age. It is best known to me and those very close to me; my family.”

She said it is not good to reveal one’s true age because you might do that and the men especially can change their mind if they discover you are older than them, shattering any plan or intention of marrying you.

Miss David said though age is in number but in this part of the world, when you are a bit older than a man they feel you will suppress the man. “But in developed countries, we see men that marry women that are far older than them and they don’t attach any meaning to it. They raise their children and do fine because there’s no extended family interference.”

However, Mrs Duro Ruth has a contrary opinion, she said, the reason is best known to such women but to her there is nothing wrong in revealing her real age, adding that it was inferiority complex that made women to lie about their age.

“We should understand that whether we say the truth about it or not, as each day passes by we are growing older and nothing can stop that. My belief does not support lies no matter how little it may seem because one of the 10 Commandments in the Bible, Exodus 20 frowns about lying.’

Mrs Talatu Joseph said, a business woman, said different societal pressures contribute to women hiding their age. “Talk about looking for job where they are looking for younger applicants, this is not even applicable only to women but everybody. Someone is already 35 years and they are looking for 28-year-old applicants. This has pushed so many people to reduce their age thereby having so many age affidavits just to fit in.”

She also said that most women who hide their real age were those who have under-achieved in life, adding that this is also as a result of lack of self-confidence and inferiority complex. “When some women feel that they have not achieved much in terms of being educated or being financially well off, they hide their real age.”

According to her, others do it when they are yet to find a husband because they feel that revealing their real age may rob them of the ‘right’ suitor. “Most women don’t want people to think they are old, so they bring down their age even when their physical features are telling otherwise. Some still want to remain attractive to the opposite sex despite the obvious signs of aging.”

A civil servant, Tessy Jacobs, said most women do not like to disclose their age because it is a ‘feminine thing,’ adding that unlike men, some women do conceal their age while others take up a fake age to meet up with the expectations of people. She said a lady that looks younger would like tell people an age that she feels goes with her look to avoid people saying she looked ‘older than her age.’

“It is not everybody that is supposed to know my age because it is a personal thing. Some women look young but the moment people get to know their age they tag them old people and most women do not want to be called that,” she said.

Another lady, an undergraduate, Gloria Ojo, said she only reveals her age when filing documents or during registration in schools, adding that she does not like telling people her age because “I don’t want them to know.”

She, however, said she does not lie about her age but always refrained from telling people. On what led to the decision, she said, “I just don’t want people to know except my relatives and people very close to me.”

Kikelomo Michael said age is prestige to women. Some older women fake it while the younger ones would like to remain young regardless of their age.

“A woman in her 50s is always happy about it but people between 20 and 30 years conceal because it is like a prestige phenomenon to them. You don’t reveal it to everybody but use it to satisfy certain cases and easily mix in with colleagues.

“A lady that has friends that are older than her age would want to keep up with them because she does not want to look inferior,” she said.