Reflecting on Soyinka’s lament

Why? Even Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka sometimes likes the idea that the Naija is negatively ingenious. In his celebrated missive on the Bring Back Jonathan saga, the laureate missed the point when he described the campaign as engendering ‘a culture of civic callousness’ and ‘coarsening of sensibilities.’ If he had listened to the songs of […]

Why? Even Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka sometimes likes the idea that the Naija is negatively ingenious. In his celebrated missive on the Bring Back Jonathan saga, the laureate missed the point when he described the campaign as engendering ‘a culture of civic callousness’ and ‘coarsening of sensibilities.’ If he had listened to the songs of one of Naija’s prolific singers, he would have heard the expression ‘no be today yansh dey for back’. We are not sorry to disappoint Kongi. The rain has pounded our heads for so long that we are naturally as conscience bald as the vulture.
Kongi may have forgotten that sycophancy is our grease of survival. We are natural boot lickers and every government in power since time Imo River has leveraged on the firm tripod of praise singers to deaden its conscience. Praise singing is the best covering for those who are having it so good that they are afraid to wake up to stark reality. It is an expensive habit that eats into billions of security votes and provides contracts for willing supporters.
In 1979 Shamgar the son of Anat brought with him a popular head covering which became the alternate symbol of the NPN. All those who wished to draw milk from the federal udder adopted it as a totem. Only recalcitrant diehard Awoists adopted a different head covering and missed out on the boon. Mention must be made of naive idealists who adopted Tunji Braithwaite’s armless kaftan as their own style of dressing.
By the time the soldiers returned, two sycophantic emblems were added to the collection, reflecting the technological advancement of the day – lapel pins and car stickers showing busts of the ruler of the time. A few commercial vehicles plying the northern route carry them to this day, more as a mark of protest but also a nepotistic alignment with regionalism. Remember, dear Kongi that advocates of power shift are enemies of qualitative leadership. All they demand are bragging rights to torture their unfortunate neighbours that ‘we are not just in government, we are in power’.
The geographical breth-ren of the man in power sees nothing wrong; hears nothing wrong and says nothing wrong of the government of his kin in power even if its inefficiency distances him from the global comforts associated with genres ‘on two legs who are considered human’. I bet, dear Kongi, that most of those who received gold lapel pins of Sani Abacha have pawned it at the goldsmiths for something more current. If in doubt, ask Tom Ikimi. Those who received low-quality ones may have trashed them.
My dear laureate, we know that being forced to become a UN citizen in the era of dictatorship may have denied you the opportunity to witness our historical evolution in sycophancy. Those were the days when Bob Marley lost proprietary rights to the artistic transformation (pun intended) of his famous lyrics in the tracks Positive Vibration. For then, the wickedly ingenious found inspiration in graphically interpreting the expression – ‘who the cap fits, let him wear it.’ With luck, a copy of the obnoxious advert that insulted and assaulted our sensibilities may be found on Google. Those were the days when Yahyah Jammeh found his groove and Jerry Rawlings was the standard bearer in the art of transforming from military to civilian president.
Globally, polls are used to determine electoral outcomes while referendums are the general way of determining the popularity of a cause. The ingenious Naija combined both when he instituted the million-man-march as a form of popularity even while there was a subsisting ban on public processions. The inventor goes by the name of Daniel Kanu and could be found managing a popular hotel in Abuja and selling Humvees and perhaps consulting for the man of the moment.
Given these facts, and also that most of dramatis personae behind this infantile dance with infamy are alive and being recycled into the system, nobody who is unlucky to have both memory and shame should be surprised that things have remained the same. I am not. By the way, Kongi forgot to mention that Diepreye Alamieyeseigha and Bode George, both properly convicted are friends of The Rock and the ruining party. Femi Fani Kayode, Buruji Kashamu and several others in the league of Ali Modu Sheriff are close allies of Oga Jonah.