Right on, Asma’u Dakingari
It was at the official launch of the Suru local government chapter of FOMWAN (Federation of Muslim women’s associations in Nigeria) that Mrs Dakingari decried the excessive spending that characterises weddings these days. She went further to say that she will support the enactment of a law that will regulate excess spending in marriage and […]
It was at the official launch of the Suru local government chapter of FOMWAN (Federation of Muslim women’s associations in Nigeria) that Mrs Dakingari decried the excessive spending that characterises weddings these days. She went further to say that she will support the enactment of a law that will regulate excess spending in marriage and naming ceremonies. I say bravo, bravo because this is something that needed to be said a long time ago and by people in privileged positions like Hajia Asma’u. Yet what became the norm was that excess spending became the hallmark of weddings, especially in government houses.
The few times I have attended such high society weddings, I’ve found myself thinking ‘Is it me or has the world gone mad?’ Right from the events list on the invitation card, I keep wondering why all that wastage. At each of these various events you are left wondering why there should a different set of souvenirs, different attires, different musicians etc. Today’s wedding means a trip to Dubai or China for not just furniture and clothes but even the wedding souvenirs to be shared. It means transporting make-up artists all the way from Lagos or Abuja to any other city in Nigeria. It also means paying from N20,000 upwards for a single cloth set because you have to stand out at the wedding.
Purchase of expensive designer wedding gowns is now the norm rather than the exception. Then the designer photographers are in tow, because it is no longer cool to have your special day in pictures no, it has to have been covered by one of the big names in photography. And what about the events location? It isn’t chic anymore to host a wedding dinner or walima in your front garden or your sister’s bigger lawn. No you have to pay through your nose and do it at an expensive events centre. Otherwise you really haven’t made it.
The very choice of a FOMWAN event to voice her complaint makes Mrs Dakingari’s criticism very apt. For one, FOMWAN is an umbrella organisation for all Muslim women groups in the country. It is therefore the best channel to get the message to trickle down to other women. Two, top FOMWAN members are known to also forget their spiritual pedestal and engage in as much show and extravagance as other women, when it comes to the wedding of their children or wards. Is it any wonder that these marriages don’t last long and where they do they usually end up as unhappy unions? The truth is that we have failed to emphasise the true essence of marriage which is a union between two people upholding the tradition of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
And because we have laid emphasis only on the glitter and not the substance of the practice, this neglect has come to haunt us in the form of increased divorce rates and unhappy marriages. It is my sincere hope that other well-placed women will echo Asma’u Dakingari’s call and seek the enactment of laws across northern states that will curb the excesses being practiced today in the name of weddings.