Roadblocks: the fastest growing industry in Nigeria

But as a self-crowned pundit and commentator, I can say without any fear of contradiction from the experts that the mounting of roadblocks across our highways and by-ways by all manner of officials of government departments and agencies is easily the fastest growing industry in our dear country. It is not very surprising that this […]

But as a self-crowned pundit and commentator, I can say without any fear of contradiction from the experts that the mounting of roadblocks across our highways and by-ways by all manner of officials of government departments and agencies is easily the fastest growing industry in our dear country. It is not very surprising that this is so because it is the sub-sector of the corruption industry which is itself the most pervasive, enduring and thriving sector of the national economy.
Any government official or institution that wants to engage principally in the ‘business’ of extorting money from the hapless public will just go out there and mount a roadblock. It is that simple. The good and official reason he will give as to why he is on the road is to check criminal activities and fish out criminals to keep Nigeria safe and secure. The real reason, of course, we all know. I do not know how and from whom they get approvals to commence ‘business’ and to what agency they render returns, but it is a very lucrative business for the creative entrepreneurs who engage in it.
You do not need to complain of erratic power supply. Electricity is not essential to start at all. In fact, the business thrives best under the cover of darkness. You do not have to worry yourself about impossible to meet collaterals in order to approach a bank for a facility. The only possible machines you require are disused tyres, intimidating looking tree trunks, giant nails on planks and other odds and ends easily obtained with the aid of unemployed, adventure-seeking, idle youth in the ‘location’ of your ‘industry’, themselves eagerly disposed to lending a helping hand to anyone disposed to committing illegalities. The only start-up capital you need is your official uniform or just an ID card which you brandish before anyone who is impudent or sufficiently harassed enough to dare to question your right to be on the road contributing to the growth and development of the Nigerian economy by enriching yourself and harassing people.
Last week on this page, I wrote about my observation of the happenings on our roads when I travelled from Ogoja to Asaba in Delta State. On the return journey back to Ogoja and through Adikpo, Gboko, Makurdi, Lafia, Keffi and back to Abuja, I saw more of the strange and interesting things that happen at roadblocks mounted by different officials of government supposedly meant to contain crimes.
At Ijibor village of Bekwarra near Ogoja, I saw an official of the NDLEA who stopped a pick up van that was conveying some timbre for sawing at the timbre shed in Ogoja. Is timbre now a hard drug and now of legitimate interest for the NDLEA people? When we got to Otukpuru Afaa, still in Bekwarra, a soldier woman also demanded to see the permit the owner of the wood contained in the pick-up van had which allowed him to possess the wood. I thought soldiers are primarily there to protect Nigerians against Boko Haram. Well, this is Nigeria and the law is that anyone on roadblock business, sorry duty, can define his remit any way it can more easily enable him or her to extort money.
Given the way roadblock business is so lucrative, my prediction is that many more government departments and agencies will set up shop at strategic locations of our highways. I prophesy that very soon prison officials will start mounting their own roadblocks and the perfectly valid reason they will give is that given the rather frequent jail breaks Nigeria is witnessing in recent times, they need to be at the roadblocks to ensure that they re-arrest fleeing inmates and take them back to where they rightfully ought to be!
I can also see that non-governmental organisations will not like to miss out on this latest business in town. I prophesy that soon, officials of National Council of Women Societies will be at the roadblocks. They will be stopping cars and trucks in order to check and establish the bona fides of all travelling couples. Their effort will be to know whether the lady by the side of a man is his legitimate wife, his mother, sister, aunty or daughter. All men who are carrying sugar mummies, sweet sixteens and other forms of contraband ‘items’ will be arrested and handed over to the police for prosecution in order to save the sacred marriage institution.
I also foresee that very soon social welfare department officials will be at roadblocks intercepting all pregnant women to establish which of them is carrying wanted pregnancies, and those who are not, to ensure that they are not ‘workers’ in the baby factories that are also becoming some of the booming business outfits in our country.
Boys’ Brigade will soon come onto the roads to arrest rebellious young men who are fleeing parental control at home and reunite them with their parents.
The Girls’ Guide will similarly be on the road to check every teenage girl who may be accompanied by men other than their brothers, fathers and uncles in order to establish just what business they are on. And once it is confirmed that they are not on a business that is not likely to take them to heaven, they will be handed over to the appropriate department of government.
We are a nation of copycats. Anything that looks successful attracts everybody to it and to ‘eat’. Today, roadblocks are it. Let everyone mount a roadblock. Do not bother to think that their presence increases the cost of doing legitimate business; they hinder social and commercial intercourse; they increase human suffering; and drastically reduce our economic growth. Who cares about such matters in Nigeria?