Running the home, on whose budget?

Mismanagement of financial resources has left a dent in several homes. There are families that have crumbled due to who takes responsibility in running the home. An agreement and understanding between the couple on who takes the responsibility for electricity bills, children’s school fees, water bills, house rent and other miscellaneous bills, in some cases, […]

Mismanagement of financial resources has left a dent in several homes. There are families that have crumbled due to who takes responsibility in running the home. An agreement and understanding between the couple on who takes the responsibility for electricity bills, children’s school fees, water bills, house rent and other miscellaneous bills, in some cases, fuel how long a marriage lasts.

For couples that are yet to own a house, the annual rent also adds to the long list of bills to be met. With the financial crunch in the country, payment of these bills, regardless of their frequency – daily, weekly or monthly – is among issues that couples contend with. In meeting this challenge, some families rely on culture/religion, while others are flexible thereby taking a pragmatic approach.

Abubakar Salim said culture plays a role in determining who does what in his home. The Katsina State indigene said men are expected to take care of the budget in the home, adding that in a home where the situation is the reverse, the man might be considered as irresponsible.

“In my culture we cater for the family; even where the woman is richer than the husband, the man should take the responsibility unless where she willingly wants to help but the man cannot force her to foot the bill for anything in the house,” he said.

On instances where the husband could not afford to bear the responsibility anymore, he said, he still has to do “anything within the law to provide for the home.”

Salim who has been married for more than five years said though women could support their husbands, they must not be compelled to doing so.

Unlike Salim, David Godswill said his culture does not play a role in this family as it is a shared responsibility between him and his wife.

“I don’t so much believe in culture, we are both working, she is into business and I am also into business. So it is a balanced, shared responsibility,” he said.

He said though he usually takes responsibility for running the house, they do not have an agreement as to who does what. As such whenever the wife is doing well, she assists him.

For Ndachko Adamu, it is well planned in his family. There was never a time that his wife paid school fees, house rent or food items.

“The things that my wife buys at home are charcoal, tomatoes, onions and sometimes pays the fees for our children for their Quranic classes,” he said adding that he sometimes reimbursed her for the fees paid for the Quran lessons.

He also said his wife, willingly accepted to buy charcoal while he buys kerosene that they used in cooking. He buys the beef and food items while his wife buys ingredients including vegetables.

Adamu said the understanding of who caters for those things in his home has helped his marriage to a large extent because his does not earn as much as he does and it would be irresponsible to put such burden on her.

Ezekiel Danladi said he foots the bills but his wife would only step in only in his absence.

The Bujju man from Kaduna State said culture influenced his decision to be responsible for the running of his home. “Whenever I am not at home, she cooks from her purse, buy ingredients and toiletries. And whenever I desire, I refund her money but not always,” he said.

Similarly, Labran Akpai said he takes responsibility for running the home since his wife was yet to get a good job.

A single lady, Lola Adeniran, shares her desired home plan, “Though I am not married, but in my uncle’s house, he is responsible for everything at home. He pays for the children’s school fees, foodstuff to toiletries.

“The only thing his wife, a top officer in a government agency in Abuja does is buy gold jewelry and owambe cloths with her money,” he said.

Lola Adeniran said she would love to marry a man that would ‘be man enough’ to take care of everything at home though she holds no objection in sharing the responsibilities.

But a woman who pleaded anonymity was not that lucky as she said her husband only paid the house rent and school fees. “Food and the children’s upkeep are my responsibility. It becomes frustrating because he sometimes comes home demanding for food without asking if I made enough money from my business,” she said.