Saying farewell to an uncle like no other

Everyone in the extremely large family of ours took their problems to him and he was more or less the problem-solver in the family. He was always helping out one relative or the other and I’ve always wondered how he found the time for all of that. He was a lecturer at the Nigerian Institute […]

Everyone in the extremely large family of ours took their problems to him and he was more or less the problem-solver in the family. He was always helping out one relative or the other and I’ve always wondered how he found the time for all of that. He was a lecturer at the Nigerian Institute of Transport Technology, and pursuing a PhD at the same time as well as a husband and father of 6.
A birth here, a death there. An illness, a wedding, anything imaginable requiring his attention would get it. Even while he was really sick on what turned out be his death bed, he was still eager to help a cousin who wanted to get married with funds to complete his house. That was how he spent his life.
I took it for granted then, but looking back I now realize that he was very patient with me. He has never ever scolded me. We spent hours just talking, as he was always interested in my perspective on things and he always had a way of looking at things from somewhat unusual but refreshing angles. To a large extent, I attribute the way I think to Uncle Malik.
I have to say that, of all my relatives, Uncle Malik had the most influence on me and is largely responsible for how I am today. Looking back, I realize that he had a say in almost every decision I have ever taken. It was he who introduced me to the wonderful world of books. He bought me the very first story book which wasn’t a hand-me-down from my brother. He encouraged me to write my own stories and would patiently read through them and give me constructive feedback.
When I was ten he took me to the Ahmadu Bello University bookshop and allowed me to pick as many books as I liked I still remember some of the books I got that day. Copies of  Dan Fulani’s ‘Adventures of Sauna’, ‘Around the World in 80days’ by Jules Verne, ‘The Sacred Apple’ by Abubakar Gimba and many from the Pacesetters collection.
I remember one of the most memorable periods of my life was the brief period between primary and secondary school when I spent a week in Zaria. Every day was exciting; he took me all over Zaria telling me the history and significance of everywhere. I used to think that Zaria was the most magical place on earth but then I realized   that it was because I see it through my uncle’s eyes and words. He had a way of making even the most mundane things look lovely.
It was Uncle Malik who made me fall in love with ABU Zaria. Whenever we visited our maternal family home in Zaria, he would take us around the Campus and I remember telling myself and anybody who cared to listen that I will be studying in that school. When I did get admission to study Mass Communication, he was there with me every step of the way. He drove me and my friend to campus every morning for registration and he was there to take us for lunch and listen to our stories.
All through my studies, he was there to assist me with research for assignments, take me around Zaria for my photojournalism project, help me distribute my questionnaire for my final project, and was there for every single problem I ever encountered. He visited me constantly, and was always there to listen to me and he was friendly to all of my friends. I remember when he came to visit me at the Corpers’ Lodge where I was staying in Bayelsa State for my NYSC, all of the corpers wanted his attention and he listened to each and every one of them patiently. I remember one of them telling me how lucky I was to have such an uncle. And he was right, I was blessed with an exceptional one.
It was on his recommendation that I did my Masters in Development Communication, though I had considered it but I was sceptical about doing a Masters in the Department of Theatre and Performing Arts but by the time he sold Professor Abah and Professor Jenkeri Okwori to me, I couldn’t wait to be a part of that lovely family and it was the best decision I ever made, thanks to Uncle Malik.
Even though I like to say that he paid such close attention to my welfare because we had a special connection and we really do, the truth is that he was just as attentive to all of my brothers and cousins. He had a knack for discovering your strengths and subtly encouraging you to build up on them. What I love most about him is that even though he showed me how much he respected my intellect and even though he always treated me as an equal, he also knew how important it was to support the girl in me. He bought me my very first, real birthday cake. He had a knack for buying me the best clothes, shoes, jewellery and girly things whenever he travelled, or just on impulse.  
 I still remember our last face-to-face conversation; it was after the external defense of my thesis. He was on hospital admission at a hospital in Wusasa in Zaria. I remember that I recounted the entire defense to him and we had a good laugh over it. That is another thing I will miss most about him, how everything somehow seems more interesting when you are discussing it with him. With Uncle Malik I can find humor in almost any situation.
I remember that I once went with a friend to visit him briefly. However, with Uncle Malik there is no brief visit when he is in his element. I remember I was shocked at how lean he was looking but we talked and talked and even my friend who cautioned me before the visit to stick to the allotted time was so enthralled and charmed by him that she forgot about our other engagements.
If I could have one wish right now, I would wish for more time with my uncle. There are so many milestones I still want to witness with him but, alas, this is the end. But Allah knows best and may He have mercy on your soul, Uncle Malik, and may you truly rest in peace. Ameen.
Bukar wrote in from Abuja