School: Were all parents really in first position?

This for many is the best way through which they inspire their kids to take their studies seriously. For some, it is an ego trip yet for some others and maybe most, they are lies. In the course of chatting with some parents with the knack for using these lines, the various reasons for which […]

This for many is the best way through which they inspire their kids to take their studies seriously. For some, it is an ego trip yet for some others and maybe most, they are lies.

In the course of chatting with some parents with the knack for using these lines, the various reasons for which they do so were unveiled.

Chinasa Kalu a mother of three teenage girls said, “I was actually an A student in my secondary school days and maintained it to university level. I was not as old as my kids are now they are in secondary school and if I could do as well as I did then without the facilities they have in this era, I expect them to beat my record. So telling them about my excellent performance is my way of encouraging them.”

Much as Kalu’s story is honest to her kids, who are inspired by it and see the evidence of her outstanding performance as a student, it is not quite the same with Austin James, who believes in fine-tuning the story to drive home the message.

“Generally children have the idea that their parents are the best at anything they do. So how do you now begin to tell your child that you used to fail exams and come last while you were a student? I don’t think that will encourage or challenge them to do well in their studies. So it is safer in my opinion to tell them you did well as a student and that they should follow in your footsteps and if possible beat the pace you have set.”

When asked if this didn’t amount to telling a lie which could affect the child negatively in the future or later if the truth is found out, his answer was, “how many parents are truthful to their kids, let alone about such an issue? Just as you have come to realise that not all we said about our educational excellence were true, they too, when the time comes will know the truth and it will not harm them,’’ he added non-chalantly.  

Fortunately many kids like 12-year-old Theophilus Nyame, fall for these lines and are truly motivated to do well academically in a bid to beat the ‘records set’ by their parents.

“My parents are always telling us how well they did when they were in school and that they had to read with lantern and candle to pass exam. So if they passed despite the hardships, me and my brothers don’t have any reason to fail because we always have light and we have our computers to help us. Even though we have never seen their report cards we believe them and want to break their record.”

But here is what education experts have to say. Educationist and teacher Mrs. Tunde Aluko said “there is absolutely no reason why a parent should say he or she came first when that is not the truth. The child may find out later in the most unusual circumstance in the future. No matter how light it may seem at the time, the impression he will have about such a parent is not likely to be positive all the way. Instead of saying outright that you were always in the first position, you could say something like you were among the top ten students.”

From an early age, children need to be encouraged to develop positive habits and attitudes that will aid in continued academic development throughout their lives, rather than be told lies.

If they can develop these skills, even when parents are not there to sing their self praises, the kids will apply the developmental skills which they have inculcated from an early age. There are so many better ways to encourage your child to excel academically than blowing your trumpet or fabricating stories.