Second-time around

‘Wa alaikummussalam, you are welcome Jiddah.’ I answered, rising from my writing table to hug my sister’s daughter. ‘How is Umma and your siblings?’ I asked.‘Alhamdulillah, everyone is fine Aunty.’ Jiddah replied, smiling.‘Masha Allah, come and sit on the bed. That chair is full of clothes from the laundry room which I am yet to […]

‘Wa alaikummussalam, you are welcome Jiddah.’ I answered, rising from my writing table to hug my sister’s daughter. ‘How is Umma and your siblings?’ I asked.
‘Alhamdulillah, everyone is fine Aunty.’ Jiddah replied, smiling.
‘Masha Allah, come and sit on the bed. That chair is full of clothes from the laundry room which I am yet to put back into the wardrobe. Get her some kunun zaqi to drink Ummi.’ I ordered my first born.
‘Ok Mummy’ my daughter replied walking out.
‘So what have you been up to, now that the NYSC is over?’ I asked Jiddah.
‘I have been job-hunting Aunty. I’ve sent out a few applications and CVs and I am waiting to be called for an interview.’ She replied.
‘Well that’s very good. But you should consider self-employment too, now that office jobs are getting more scarce. Think of something you can do from home and let Umma and you Baba cough out some venture capital for you. It might be better than that endless wait for an office job.’ I advised.
‘Who said she is going to wait endlessly for an office job?’ Ummi said, coming back in with a tray and a glass of kunun zaqi on it. ‘I see she hasn’t told you her good news yet. Then let me have the pleasure of telling you that Jiddah has her job cut out for her. She just told me that she is getting married to the new-ly elected deputy governor of her Dad’s home state. As the second lady in that state, will she be looking for a job anytime soon?’ Ummi asked, rhetorically.
‘Masha Allah, this is great news. But how long ago did this happen? I mean I was with your mother two days ago and she didn’t say anything about you presenting a suitor.’ I enquired.
‘Yes, em, he proposed to me only yesterday evening but I have known him for a while.’ Jiddah replied shyly.
‘I see, well congrats. What is his name?’ I asked.
‘His name is Musa but he is mostly known as Danladi.’ She explained, picking up her glass of cold beverage.
‘What a coincidence, you jilted one Danladi two years ago and you end up settling for another Danladi.’ I observed jokingly.
‘Em, Mummy, I think it’s the same Danladi that returned, isnt it?’ Ummi contributed from where she sat on the carpet.
‘The same Danladi? But it can’t be. You said you didn’t want to marry him because he was too ‘local’ for you. You said that though he was a university graduate, he had no class. How can you now tell me that he is your choice?’ I demanded.
‘Aunty, I think being in politics has made him quite polished, he is certainly more sophisticated now than he was then.’ She answered.
‘But wasn’t that the point your mother and I tried to make when you were hell-bent on rejecting him? We told you that he could grow more polished with time, and especially if you will patiently try to groom him into the kind of man you want. But you won’t hear of it. All you kept saying was “Danladi is too local, I can’t marry a guy like that.” So what made him ‘international’ now?’ I queried.
‘It was like I said Aunty, being in politics has changed him. He has grown more likeable and sophisticated.’ She responded.
‘I think the one who has grown is you. You have grown into someone I can’t recognise. I mean you turned down an educated, sensible, well-mannered and decent suitor for the simple reason that you found him too local for your taste. Rather than force you to marry him, your mother and I decided to let you have your way so that you wont end up with a failed marriage. And now, because he has become deputy governor, you suddenly find him attractive and sophisticated?’ I chided.
‘No, Aunty. This has nothing to do with his new position, I told you he is more refined and presentable now. That is the only reason I decided to settle for him.’ Jiddah protested.
‘Look, I wasn’t born yesterday, so don’t think you can deceive me. Danladi is simply good enough for you now because he is a top-ranking politician. I wonder why he can’t see that you are only attracted to his new job and not to him. It’s probably what they say about men always being obsessed with the women who turn them down, otherwise why should he come back to you? How did he even get to be nominated a running mate when he had no wife?’ I wondered aloud.
‘Oh but he does have a wife Aunty, he got married last year.’ Jiddah disclosed.
‘Now you don’t mean this, you really can’t mean this Jiddah.’ I protested, shaking my head. ‘You turned down a man when he was young, free and single; he got over you and went ahead to take another wife. Then he joined politics and became a deputy governor and you shamelessly decide that he is now good enough for you? If this isnt materialism of the highest order, I dont know what is. But I know for a fact that you don’t love this man. Now I can’t say know why he fell for it and decided to come after you again but if I were in his shoes, I would know that it isn’t me you are marrying it is my job.’ I concluded.
‘Don’t be too hard on her Mummy, you know some people only work things out well during the second-time around. May be they have a better understanding now.’ Ummi pleaded.
‘Shut your mouth up Ummi, don’t say a thing to me about how second-time around works. This is not a second chance at love, this is a shot at a marriage of convenience. He comes back for you because he knows that he is now good enough for you, and you agree to marry him because you feel he can give you whatever material gains you wish, in his new postion as deputy governor. Neither of you is thinking about the future. What will happen when he finally leaves that office or gets impeached along the way? Will you end he marriage because he is no longer an ‘Excellency?’ Will he steal to maintain the lifestyle you are now used to because you are a sophisticated high-class wife? And how about his first wife, doesn’t she have a stake in all this?’ I asked.
‘You know, she was a secondary school leaver. He married her straight from SS3 last year. And she now has a baby girl.’ Jiddah explained.
‘Do you now see what I said Ummi? This whole thing is a marriage of convenience. Even from his end, Danladi is looking for a sohisticated graduate to play the ‘second lady’ in his state. While Jiddah is looking for a man with wealth and rank to call her husband. From a material point of view they are a perfect match. But none of what you two seek in each other can sustain a marriage.
A marriage can only survive on true love, honesty, tolerance and above all the fear of Almighty Allah. If you build it on any other foundation, it will crash on your heads. And this is why I am going to your home now to see your mother. If she agreed to your plans, I can’t stop her but I will certainly tell her what I think about your so-called second-time around with Danladi, his new Excellency.’ And with that I picked my veil and handbag and walked out of my bedroom.