She’s not decent but I love her!

Four months into our relationship however, I got to know that she is still seeing other men and receiving gifts from them. Recent developments have set me worrying about the fate of our relationship. She receives odd phone calls  and text messages when I am with her. Some of her callers have even demanded to […]

Four months into our relationship however, I got to know that she is still seeing other men and receiving gifts from them. Recent developments have set me worrying about the fate of our relationship. She receives odd phone calls  and text messages when I am with her. Some of her callers have even demanded to know who I was when they hear my voice at the background. Most time she would deny that there was a man’s voice at the background and simply say it is her sister or out rightly denies  that there was someone at the background.  Some of them seem to be aware about me and go to great length  to know more about me. Sometimes when she receives some of those strange messages, she would remark to my hearing that they ‘are sweet’.

Her popular line whenever I demanded explanation, is ‘ he is only a friend’. Sometimes she is remorseful and say that I am the only one she is in love with, sometimes she gets angry and we quarrel about it especially when she says she cannot say no to them because they have been around with her longer than I have been.  She has clearly told me that she cannot bring herself to say the word ‘no’  to these people because she has been with some of them far longer than she has been with me, but she love me the most. Her closing line always is ‘I want you, but give me a break’.  But the curious part is that she introduces me to her relatives , including her brothers and sisters as the love of her life. I realized one thing though, she seems to be wayward . I need your advice on how to handle this situation.

Usman, Kaduna

Dear Usman, I am curious to know what you were doing when she responded to her callers that ‘it was only her sister’s voice’ in the background. Is this the woman you want to marry and keep in your house?  You said it yourself that you feel she is wayward and she has proven that fact to you. I do not know of any man in our environment that needs advice from anyone to reconsider the idea of taking a wayward woman for a wife. What more, she has asked you to give her a break! Please save yourself too much headache and find a ‘decent woman’ to marry.

Why the sudden, cold shoulder?

Dear Nana,

A young girl who  lured me into a relationship I never intended to go into just jilted me after I fell in love with her. We met last year when we both joined the university, although she is studying a different course  but we offer some common subjects. I was indifferent at the beginning when she started making advances on me. She was able to break my defenses with the consistency of her determination.  

During the holidays, however, I continued to send her texts to profess my love for  her, in an attempt to make her change her mind. On resumption to school, she had a bombshell instead of a positive response for me. She told me bluntly never to talk to her again. Despite repeated enquiries, she has never told me what I did wrong. What do I do?

Abdullahi

My simple advice to you is to leave her alone and move on with your life. Just like we have players among men, we also have women players who delight in conquering and dumping their victims. You can refuse to be her victim by ignoring her as she demanded and move on with your life. You really should concentrate on your studies.