Should a ring determine response to a proposal?

Marriage proposals can be surprising or expected, depending on how serious your relationship is and the circumstances surrounding it. Engagement rings, like any other jewellery, come in different styles and quality, and are presumed to be a gift from a man to his intended bride. Two friends were discussing about their prospective proposals from their […]

Marriage proposals can be surprising or expected, depending on how serious your relationship is and the circumstances surrounding it. Engagement rings, like any other jewellery, come in different styles and quality, and are presumed to be a gift from a man to his intended bride.

Two friends were discussing about their prospective proposals from their boyfriends and one of them said her answer would depend on the type of ring he gives her, because it would show how much he values her. The other friend was of the opinion that the quality of the ring doesn’t matter because with or without it, they can still get married.
Asking for a girl’s hand in marriage with a ring is a borrowed western culture; the proposer gets down on one knee and “pops” the question with a ring in his hand. And if the girl accepts, is expected to put the ring on her finger and wear it pending when the actual marriage will take place. As a result, a lot of ladies tend to attach some importance to the quality of rings they expect to receive from their prospective fiancés.
LifeXtra wanted to know peoples thought about it and thus spoke to a cross section of Nigerians on their take about the issue. Should the quality of a ring determine the answer to a marriage proposal? Should the wedding rings be expensive?
Folashade Ogunse-Briggs, a young mother and banker, told LifeXtra “It shouldn’t affect marriage proposal because it is just a proposal not wedding ring.  The proposal ring is just to ask a question ‘will you marry me’ therefore it is not the forever ring.”
Speaking on the type of wedding ring that should be used, Ogunse-Briggs noted that it depended on the individuals.
Concurring with Ogunse-Briggs, Funmise Adefila, a male banker, noted that the quality of the ring shouldn’t affect the marriage proposal, but however advised against using cheap rings “because she is not cheap.”
He explained that “If he wants her or really loves her, he will give her the best. No sane man will do that.”
Florence Ayshat, a civil servant, who is also of the opinion that the quality of the ring should not affect the proposal, noted that the ring, irrespective of the quality, doesn’t measure the sincerity or feelings of the guy.
She said, “A guy who proposes to a lady with an expensive ring and later discovers things he can’t tolerate and decides to change his mind, might not come back for the ring. It’s the lady who returns the ring.”
To people who believe that a man who values a woman will strive to give her a worthy ring, Ayshat asks “what if he can’t afford it.?” She cited the case of a guy who loved his woman and wanted to get engaged to her but didn’t have money for a ‘worthy ring’ hence; he gave her a N200 ring. Even though he later replaced it, but at the time he gave her the N200 ring, it didn’t mean he valued her any less.”
Linda Chris, a young female journalist, feels that engagement ring has nothing to do with the couple’s personality and ability to keep their vows. She however stated that if the couple can afford an expensive wedding ring they should but they should note that “the price has nothing to do with making a good marriage.”
Mackenzie Ukpi thinks it doesn’t matter what the ring is made of. “If the ring is a piece of wood creatively carved and polished, as far as I’m concerned and if I truly love the person, I’ll accept it.”
She added, “However, marriage proposals and engagements are basically for show these days. As such a woman who has been expecting an out-of-this-world ring would be disappointed and in rare cases she might turn it down for the purpose of show. On the other hand, the glamour girl who truly wants to get married to the person would simply go and buy a better ring to show off.”