Should a woman be the breadwinner of the family?

The man, as head of the family, is expected to lead, provide for and protect his family. This has been his God-given role since creation. But with the passing of time, especially in this jet age where farming is no longer the main source of income for many families, women are expected to contribute financially […]

The man, as head of the family, is expected to lead, provide for and protect his family. This has been his God-given role since creation. But with the passing of time, especially in this jet age where farming is no longer the main source of income for many families, women are expected to contribute financially and in some situations become the breadwinner, if not the sole provider in the home.
Many women are increasingly becoming the breadwinners in their families as a number of factors prevent their husbands from playing their traditional roles as heads of the family.
In the neighbourhood where I grew up, a woman known as Mama Julie worked as a domestic help during the weekends at a family friend’s house. She also worked in some other homes during the week. She went this extra mile to provide for her family because she was the breadwinner of her family. Her husband had no job.
Mama Julie’s situation is just one out of the many. Due to its rising trend, Life Xtra went to town to ask if a woman should be the breadwinner of the family.
Nkechi Onyekwere, who works as an independent distributor at Alliance In Motion (AIM Global) Inc, says: “Although wives are expected to complement their husbands, the turn of events has changed all that. The fact is that some good wives, who find themselves in this situation, although not too happy about it, have decided to make good use of the situation to remain capable wives while praying that their situation changes.”
Relating an experience of a female banker who got married to an applicant, paid all bills, kept the home front for over three years, she said: “This lady hands her pay package at the end of every month to her husband who then decides on how to use the pay for the family.”
She added that most men do not appreciate such gesture, which is why most women who find themselves in similar situation are not too willing to be like the banker.
Becky Ibe, a wife and teacher in her mid-30s, however sees it differently. She states that: “It’s a traditional and God-given role for the man. Many men take care of their girlfriends even before marriage – why would they now abdicate their roles to provide for the family after marriage?”
Concurring with Becky, Samuel Adeleke, a mass communication graduate, notes that: “Culturally and biblically, a man is to provide for the family while the woman is only a helper. I wouldn’t want to be in that situation where my wife will be the breadwinner I think it’s not ideal, it’s not normal.”
So what about when the man can’t provide for his family, not because he doesn’t want to but because of circumstances? Adeleke says: “If it happens, the man needs to appreciate his wife and ensure order is restored as quickly as possible. The woman too must be humble and support the husband to get back to his feet financially.”
He explains that: “Having an irresponsible husband, laziness on the part of the man, ailment, and business misfortunes are some factors that could push the woman into becoming the bread winner.”
IT personnel Duke Ovie, feels that: “It doesn’t say well of the men except if it is only for a short while, but on a long term basis, no way, it is definitely a problem.”
Like Adeleke, Duke gives reasons for this change of roles. “The man may be facing hard times due to bad investment or a sudden loss of job after taking some loans or a downsizing in his work place, which leaves only the woman to fend for the home.”
Linda Chris, a young editor of an online platform, posited that: “I think very few women can handle being the bread winner of a family. Yes, they can make the money, but most women have gotten too comfortable being provided for. As such, when the table turns, it might make them lash out at the man at the slightest provocation. This in turn will leave the man’s ego bruised and the end result will be a chaotic home.”
Ara Deinde, a student and artist, says it depends on the understanding of the man. He asked a rhetorical question: “Can his ego handle it or not? Most times, men don’t quite mind, especially African men, as long as economic justification is found.” He added that: “As far as I’m concerned, I can only let my wife be the bread winner temporarily if I am briefly incapacitated financially.”
Lawal Yusuf, who works with a state pilgrims’ welfare board, noted that: “Well as you know, women play a significant role in the family. Although in a typical African setting, men usually have dominance over women because they provide for the family but women are responsible for the overall well-being of the family. They cook, bath, advise, supervise, decide and train the other family members. In some parts of the country or some tribes, women usually provide for the family.”
Carrie Pink says in an article ‘Female breadwinners: Leading households and families more than ever,’ that: “Women haven’t moved out of the kitchen and into the workforce entirely. As a whole, we are still responsible for the majority of chores in the households. In fact, breadwinner women still take on a disproportionate share of the housework as compared to their partners, thus bringing home the bacon and cooking it too.”