Should children strictly adhere to house rules?

House rules refer to the dos and don’ts that parents or guardians set for children or wards. The rules which may include requirements about homework, house chores and restrictions on use of the telephone, TV or computer, may extend beyond the walls of the home to include their behaviour at school as well as choice […]

House rules refer to the dos and don’ts that parents or guardians set for children or wards. The rules which may include requirements about homework, house chores and restrictions on use of the telephone, TV or computer, may extend beyond the walls of the home to include their behaviour at school as well as choice of friends.

Are such rules still necessary, or parents and guardians should only be guides?

“Yes”, says Habiba Usman, a mother of four. “House rules are still very important for children, else there would be chaos. For every home, organization or society to function well, there must be rules. Even adults too need rules because if there are no laid down rules, things won’t go on smoothly.”

She adds that the best time to build kids in the desired direction is when they are young and the best way to do so is to have rules. It is important to note however, that some, if not all the rules shouldn’t be rigid but flexible when necessary.

“I have three boys; and every mother knows what it takes to raise male children, as it’s not an easy task at all. One method I use in bringing them up is by making sure they follow some rules. They know that when they wake up in the morning before leaving their rooms, they must brush their teeth. Secondly, before breakfast, they must make their beds, clean their room and do other house chores. These are some of the simple rules I have made and they are being followed by my children.”

Julius Oweibo, a father of three, says children, no matter how young, are known to have minds of their own, but if not guided in the right direction, there are possibilities of making mistakes.

“My children are teenagers, and they feel they are able to take decisions or do things their own way, but their mother and I don’t allow that. There are rules they must follow, such as a particular time they must all be home. There is no excuse when we are all at home that we won’t attend church service together.”

“House chores have become a norm because they have become used to it and know what to do. It is very normal for parents to set rules to guide their children in the right direction,” he says.

Ann Mshelia, a mother of one, describes it as a two-way thing. “Setting rules for children is a two way thing.  You have to know when to bend them and when to be firm. Children are like clay, so it depends on the potter, which are the parents, to shapen them to their desired sculptures. But when doing this you have to be very mindful not to make any mistake,” she says.

 “When I was younger, my parents prevented my sisters and I from wearing trousers as a result of their religious beliefs. I liked trousers, but dared not wear it because of them. My siblings and I knew the rule, and it was strictly adhered too. But immediately I got into higher institution, I saw my chance and took it. My parents somehow got to know about it, but couldn’t do anything because it was my choice. Some rules are not necessary, it is good as a parent that you allow your children make certain decisions themselves,” she says.