Should looks be a factor when dating?

Many intending couples consider things like intelligence, a sense of humour, humility, kindness, understanding, family background et al. Some also add good looks to their list. When we meet someone, we tend to “assess” them, including their physical attractiveness. But when it comes to evaluating a potential relationship match, many people will use this quality […]

Many intending couples consider things like intelligence, a sense of humour, humility, kindness, understanding, family background et al. Some also add good looks to their list.

When we meet someone, we tend to “assess” them, including their physical attractiveness. But when it comes to evaluating a potential relationship match, many people will use this quality to evaluate and determine whether they should take the relationship a notch higher.

Good looks, also known as physical attraction, can be defined as “the degree to which a person’s physical features are considered pleasing or beautiful.”

Because of the importance most people attach to good looks, LifeXtra took the matter to the streets and sought to know what people felt about it.

Janet John, who resides in Kano, told LifeXtra “Love can’t come alone, so many things have to accompany it. These things include physical looks, attitude, trust, character and care (money is involved, not necessarily rich).

She added “But there must be attraction. Before anybody starts dating, there must be attraction between the two parties, now this attraction tends to lead to love. And one doesn’t just love for the sake of loving, action speaks. One can’t love without trusting.”

Stephanie Arama Gabriel, a Corps member, had a different opinion. She said, “While looks remain an attractive factor in any relationship, it shouldn’t be a major factor when dating as looks can fade but inner beauty lasts forever.”

Abuja-based David Ikpele however belongs to a different school of thought. He thinks it depends on the individual(s).

He said “Well, a person who is ugly but has other outstanding qualities can easily be accepted by others because physical appearance isn’t the first thing for a serious person contemplating marriage otherwise ugly people would all be single. That is why there’s an adage that says ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’.”

“Bear in mind that when a person is described as beautiful, it might be that the person has a good heart,” he added.

Lilian Akwuchi, a philanthropist, has a different opinion. She says good looks are very important. She told LifeXtra “For me, looks should be a factor when dating because one has to be physically attracted to somebody first.”

An online relationship site beliefnet.com in an article titled “How Important Is Physical Attraction in a Relationship?” wrote “Physical attraction isn’t everything, it is still an important factor when it comes to relationship workability and if it’s not there for you, trouble will ensue.”

It added “Physical attraction is not the total baseline for determining relationship compatibility; however, it must be present for you to have a healthy relationship. If you’re not physically attracted to the person you’re with, you’ll never be happy and if you’re telling yourself you will, you’re in denial. There is nothing wrong with not being physically attracted to someone. This doesn’t make you superficial. You’re human and shouldn’t have to talk yourself into being with someone. However, don’t make judgments solely based on a person’s exterior. Remember, looks do wear over time.”