Should one pretend before in-laws?
“I went to visit my fiancé’s parents in the village. Their living condition was deplorable. The water I was offered was dirty, the toilet was a pit toilet and an eyesore. I didn’t drink the water and instead took a bottle of water we had in the car. I also suggested we lodge in a […]
“I went to visit my fiancé’s parents in the village. Their living condition was deplorable. The water I was offered was dirty, the toilet was a pit toilet and an eyesore. I didn’t drink the water and instead took a bottle of water we had in the car. I also suggested we lodge in a hotel as I was afraid of infection from the toilet. Now my fiancé, his parents and siblings are angry with me. He said I disrespected them. Should I have pretended and put my health at risk?”
Josephine Chukwu, 42-year old lawyer, says, “The lady in question is right to have stood her ground when it came to her health. We forget that a second of carelessness can result in a mistake of a life time, especially for women when it comes to our reproductive system. On the part of the man, I would say, he has money to woo a lady of high taste, buy a car and even lodge in a hotel but can’t upgrade the living standard of his parents. How on earth could he still allow them to keep using a pit toilet? He is simply not a wise man. Charity they say begins at home.”
Olayinka Ibrahim, 39-year-old Interior designer, says, “Some men live flamboyantly in cities while their parents languish in poverty. I don’t blame the lady for acting that way because she may have expected the guy’s parents, based on his lifestyle, to also be comfortable. No lady must lower her standard for anyone; it is not worth it. If you pretend to fit in, you will not fit for too long. When you have equipped yourself and risen to a certain standard/level that you should not go below, it’s not pride, it’s knowing your self-worth and knowing who you are.”
Aisha Baba, 40-year-old digital strategist, believes the lady should have handled the situation with wisdom. “The man has his flaws but the lady in question took it a bit too far. Being a wife material comes with wisdom and knowledge. It is better to point it out to the man there and then that he needs to take care of his parents more. Let the parents see her rebuke their son in their favour even if you don’t drink the water or use the toilet. Wisdom is profitable. The virtuous wife is always on the throne.”
Amaka Eze, 39-year-old landscape architect, says the lady in question is not a wife material. “I disagree that a man who has a house and lives comfortably should carry all the responsibility of his family. Let’s tell ourselves the truth, if your brother brings such a lady home and she acts that way, will you still go ahead and approve of her as a wife for your brother?. Any woman who can’t accept the down side of a man has no business being with him because in future if things go wrong financially she won’t be able to endure.”
Binta Idris, 40-year-old Physical therapist, concludes that, “A man who can afford luxury cars and places can afford to make his parent’s life a bit better than he grew to know it. In fact, a lady should be very careful of a man who drives a very comfortable car and can afford to lodge in a hotel but cannot improve the standard of living of his own parents because such man will make life miserable for her when she eventually becomes his wife.”