Should parents choose careers for their children?

To be successful, one must figure out the career that will be best for that person. The process of choosing a career begins at an early stage of a person’s life and then it grows until the secondary school stage when a child decides whether to enroll in a science, arts or commercial class. As […]

To be successful, one must figure out the career that will be best for that person. The process of choosing a career begins at an early stage of a person’s life and then it grows until the secondary school stage when a child decides whether to enroll in a science, arts or commercial class. As kids, we all dreamt of being doctors, teachers, lawyers, engineers and other professions but had those dreams shattered along the line due to parental influence. However, some argue that a child should follow his or her dreams and not do what his or her parents say.  Following are what some respondents think of the issue.
Muhammed Nurudeen, a civil servant in his early 30s is of the view that parents should allow their children follow their own paths and find the career that is right for them. “From my own experience, parents choosing career for their children is not the best but encouraging the child in whatever career the child chooses would definitely be the best thing to do. When parents try to make a career decision for their children, a child might end up with a career that he or she doesn’t actually like and this could lead to the child quitting or never getting anywhere with it,” he said.
Fifty-five-year-old mother of six, Aisha Bello agrees that parents shouldn’t choose careers for their children as this could have a negative impact on the children in the long run. She however, says it is important to encourage children to aspire towards whatever they choose to be from a variety of different options.
“I honestly think if parents refrain from choosing careers for their kids, the children would end up getting a satisfactory job if not a dream job even. When people are pleased with their job and as long as they enjoy what they do, then they tend to have happier and satisfied lives. Therefore, they will lead great lives at least in the career arena and this would positively affect other areas of a person’s life as well,” argued Bello, who works as a nurse.
She added that the goal of every parent is to make their children happy and thus guide them to live a good life. Bello advised parents to avoid making career decisions for their children and let them be as that is the only way to make things work for both the child and the parents. “Personally, I don’t interfere in my children’s affairs unless if they are going astray that is where I come into the picture. My children are all grown-ups and I believe they chose the career that works for them and I am absolutely fine with their decision,” she said.
Carol Macharia, a teenager in SSS III, despises the notion of parents choosing their children’s career, arguing that kids know best what they would like to do with their lives and what career interests are: “Some parents may think that they should choose their child’s career but if you think about it deeply, that will only lead to the child being unhappy possibly for his or her entire life in a career that they did not choose on their own. A good example is my cousin; her parents forced her into medical school.
“They threatened not to pay her tuition fee if she took courses not related to the medical field. After her third year, she dropped out because her GPA dropped so badly that her school put her on probation. My cousin had to change school and start afresh majoring in interior design, what she had always wanted to study out of passion. She wished she had started on the interior decoration path earlier in life instead of wasting three years in medical school and in the end it didn’t work out well.”
But Yusuf Dankanawa, a teacher in his late 30s, says parents should choose their children’s career because choosing a career is an important decision that impacts an individual’s future; hence parents can become very worried. “There is nothing wrong if parents choose a career for their children because most of the time parents mean their children well and they want to make sure the children have a stable and financially rewarding career. Also, parents in general have more experience than their children and they know more about the reality of life and career opportunities.”
Dankanawa related an experience of someone he knows that wanted to become a musician not only because he had a passion for it but also because he was naturally talented: “He writes songs and makes beats for other people. Unfortunately, his parents rejected the idea and desired he studied architecture, as he was also good in that field. It got to a point where he was left with two options, either to study architecture and stay with his family or pick up his music career and stay on his own. Sadly, he chose his dream career and was disowned by his father and is currently living a miserable life.”
He stressed that: “Some children need to understand that our parents love us the most and wouldn’t do anything to hurt or destroy us. If they advise you to take up something just accept it and pray about it. In the future, the child would see the impact of it. Hence the saying what an elder sees sitting, a child cannot see even if he climbs an iroko tree.”