Should taking a loan for marriage be encouraged?

Thirty seven-year-old Abigail (Not real name) narrates that she took a loan to sponsor her wedding when it looked like her man was facing some hurdles. She’s been married four years now and things seem to be taking a sour turn in her marriage.  “I took the loan for our marriage hoping that with time […]

Thirty seven-year-old Abigail (Not real name) narrates that she took a loan to sponsor her wedding when it looked like her man was facing some hurdles. She’s been married four years now and things seem to be taking a sour turn in her marriage. 

“I took the loan for our marriage hoping that with time things will get better. We are both working but it baffles me that he still complains that he doesn’t have money. He doesn’t bring anything for feeding or provide for the one child we have, with another one on the way. I have shouldered all the responsibility from day one. For how long can I go on with this or was it a bad omen for me to have sponsored our wedding?”

Amina Ahmed, 39-year-old consultant, says, “I always have one word of advice for everyone man or woman. Never start what you can’t finish, never. How can she borrow money for her own marriage? The trouble is that now she has to continue with what she started. Stopping will mean chaos. She should kindly continue what she started because by paying her marriage bills, she is the head of the family. You only support if you feel he doesn’t have by taking care of some of your expenses like your clothes, shoes, but he must bring out his money and marry, let him be the one to borrow to marry and not you.”

Halima Yahaya, 40- year-old nurse, says, “This is what you get when you do things outside the original process. Why on earth should a woman take up the full responsibility of her marriage? If you ask me, I will say she got married out of desperation. It’s only a foolish person that will go out of his way to borrow money for marriage. I never encourage anyone to borrow money for his/her wedding. I don’t support such because that will be starting your home on a shaky foundation.”

Ene Davies, 42-year-old teacher says, “What do you expect? She married him with her money and the guy took advantage of that to relax, since she’d already proved that she could take charge whenever he doesn’t have or cannot provide. I will advise single ladies to learn from this, a man who can’t shoulder his pre-marriage responsibilities can and will sure not shoulder responsibilities when you both get married. Please ladies be wise, don’t be deceived, yes there’s love but learn to live in reality, keep love aside and use your brains to think about the after effect of your deeds. A word is enough for the wise!”

Forty-year-old Rabiat Shehu says, “The first thought for anyone who hears this is that she was desperate. But have we put ourselves in her shoes? Desperation can make us do a lot of things, maybe time was no longer on her side or there was pressure from her family to get married. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong in what she did. Many women do it and they live peacefully but I agree it can take a different turn if the man decides to just lay back and do nothing in the marriage.”